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hopped onto one, skipped to another

English translation: its fine

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10:56 Feb 15, 2005
English to English translations [Non-PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / children's literature
English term or phrase: hopped onto one, skipped to another
Then the crow flew down from the tree, strode over to the porch steps, hopped onto one, skipped onto another, and went inside the house.

Dear native speakers!
Please tell me if the whole phrase sounds quite naturally to your native English ears?
I am not really sure about 'skip' here. Can a bird skip onto a step? Maybe I should just say ‘skip to a step’?
“…hopped onto one, skipped to another…”
Or: “…hopped onto the first one, skipped to the other…”
Please advise.

This is my translation from Russian.
Andrew Vdovin
Local time: 12:31
English translation:its fine
Explanation:
It sounds fine to me after 16 years living in the UK. And my partner, who is British and to whom I have just read your sentence, says it sounds fine to him too.
HTH

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Note added at 7 mins (2005-02-15 11:03:25 GMT)
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In literature one has a lot more scope with the use of words and I think your translation has the right kind of sound to it IMHO.
\"strode over to the porch steps, hopped onto one, skipped onto another,..\"
Yes, it\'s good!
Selected response from:

Paula Vaz-Carreiro
Local time: 06:31
Grading comment
Thanks for your help, Paula!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
5 +4its fine
Paula Vaz-Carreiro
4 +2"walked" rather than "strode"...xxxCMJ_Trans
3sentence is unclearRHELLER


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


6 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
"walked" rather than "strode"...


Explanation:
I just cannot imagine a bird "striding" somehow!

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Note added at 2005-02-15 11:14:28 (GMT)
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hopped on to one, skipped to another BUT I still think \"strode\" sounds odd to my English ear!

xxxCMJ_Trans
Local time: 07:31
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 52

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  MJ Barber
1 hr

agree  paolamonaco
10 hrs
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4 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5 peer agreement (net): +4
its fine


Explanation:
It sounds fine to me after 16 years living in the UK. And my partner, who is British and to whom I have just read your sentence, says it sounds fine to him too.
HTH

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 7 mins (2005-02-15 11:03:25 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

In literature one has a lot more scope with the use of words and I think your translation has the right kind of sound to it IMHO.
\"strode over to the porch steps, hopped onto one, skipped onto another,..\"
Yes, it\'s good!

Paula Vaz-Carreiro
Local time: 06:31
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in PortuguesePortuguese, Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 48
Grading comment
Thanks for your help, Paula!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  mportal: crows sometimes walk and sometimes hop, and when they walk, 'stride' is a good description of how they do it, with exaggeratedly long steps
1 hr
  -> Yes! That's why I like the whole sentence as it is. Thanks.

agree  tappi_k: yes i quite like the 'stride' bit, too...
3 hrs
  -> There is a cadence in the whole sentence that suggest the "walk" of a bird, isn't there? And thanks.

agree  juvera: It is very nice.
4 hrs
  -> Yes indeed :-) Thanks

agree  Java Cafe
4 hrs
  -> Thanks Java
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7 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
sentence is unclear


Explanation:
I had to read the sentence twice to figure out what "one" and "another" represented.

I would prefer:
hopped over to the porch, jumped/jumping onto the steps, one after another, and went inside the house

we have lots of crows - they hop

RHELLER
United States
Local time: 23:31
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 66
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