hopped onto one, skipped to another

English translation: its fine

10:56 Feb 15, 2005

English language (monolingual) [Non-PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / children's literature

English term or phrase: hopped onto one, skipped to another

Then the crow flew down from the tree, strode over to the porch steps, hopped onto one, skipped onto another, and went inside the house.

Dear native speakers!
Please tell me if the whole phrase sounds quite naturally to your native English ears?
I am not really sure about 'skip' here. Can a bird skip onto a step? Maybe I should just say ‘skip to a step’?
“…hopped onto one, skipped to another…”
Or: “…hopped onto the first one, skipped to the other…”
Please advise.

This is my translation from Russian.

Andrew Vdovin KudoZ activity Questions: 3923 (2 open) (2 closed without grading) Answers: 3924
Local time: 18:20

Selected answer:its fine

Explanation:
It sounds fine to me after 16 years living in the UK. And my partner, who is British and to whom I have just read your sentence, says it sounds fine to him too.
HTH

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Note added at 7 mins (2005-02-15 11:03:25 GMT)
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In literature one has a lot more scope with the use of words and I think your translation has the right kind of sound to it IMHO.
\"strode over to the porch steps, hopped onto one, skipped onto another,..\"
Yes, it\'s good!

Selected response from:

Paula Vaz-Carreiro

Grading comment

Thanks for your help, Paula!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED

5 +4

its fine

Paula Vaz-Carreiro

4 +2

"walked" rather than "strode"...

CMJ_Trans (X)

sentence is unclear

RHELLER

Discussion entries: 1

Answers

6 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +2

"walked" rather than "strode"...

Explanation:
I just cannot imagine a bird "striding" somehow!

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Note added at 2005-02-15 11:14:28 (GMT)
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hopped on to one, skipped to another BUT I still think \"strode\" sounds odd to my English ear!

CMJ_Trans (X)
Local time: 13:20
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in category: 52

4 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +4

its fine

Paula Vaz-Carreiro
Specializes in field
Native speaker of:

Portuguese,

English
PRO pts in category: 48

Grading comment

Thanks for your help, Paula!

7 hrs confidence:

sentence is unclear

Explanation:
I had to read the sentence twice to figure out what "one" and "another" represented.

I would prefer:
hopped over to the porch, jumped/jumping onto the steps, one after another, and went inside the house

we have lots of crows - they hop

RHELLER
United States
Local time: 05:20
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in category: 66

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