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English to Japanese translations [Non-PRO]
Marketing - Business/Commerce (general) | | English term or phrase: for translation check | I request a simple favour. Can you please check the eng-jpn translation. it will immensely help my learning. thanks.
The name given in excel sheet received from Japan is ABCロジスティクス. When we exported the sheet for taking a backup, we found the name was エクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社 for that registry ID, and after reporting such thing, we changed it toエクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社.
日本語：日本チームから頂いたシートに書いてある企業名はABCロジスティクスである。但し、バックアップの為、シートをエクスポートした時、registryIDに該当する企業名はエクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社で、それをレポートした時、企業名を変更するよう旨の指示を受けました。 |
| | | Brush up | Explanation:
Seems the Asker baburam-San well grasps the meanings of the sentences.
Keeping corrections to a minimum, a native speaker would give a finishing
touch as follows:
1. （2nd sentence）「・・・エクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社であることが分かり、その旨、レポートしたあとで、」 (“found (分かり)” needs to be rendered in this Japanese context)
2. (If “intentional” as Kurt-san and Krishna-san say,) 「企業名を変更するよう指示を受けた」（”よう旨の”is not the expression we use. Either “よう”or”旨の.” For the end of the sentence, see 4.）
3. (If not “intentional”) 「企業名をそのように変更した。」
4. The “desu-masu” style (2nd sentence) and “da-dearu” style (1st sentence), which have lately been discussed, I guess, on this site, are mixed in the translation. The former, a polite, colloquial style; the latter, written bookish style. You can see the difference mostly by seeing how the verb at the end of a sentence conjugates. Better be unified.
Hope it helps.
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| Selected response from:
 kokuritsu
Local time: 13:21
| Grading comment thankyou mama
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer |
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| Discussion entries: 0 |
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Automatic update in 00:
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26 mins confidence:   peer agreement (net): +1 slight variations between E and J
Explanation:
Just a quick glance, but I notice a couple variations between the E and J. Are these intentional?
The J version appears to have more information than the E version.
Most significantly:
we found the name was エクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社 for that registry ID, and after reporting such thing, we changed it toエクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社.
Backtranslation of the Japanese version says:
the name was エクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社 for that registry ID, and after reporting such thing, we we received direction to change it toエクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社.
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Note added at 1 hr 26 mins (2005-04-18 06:26:43 GMT)
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Also, translation seems ok assuming these differences in meaning are intentional.
| Kurt Hammond
Japan
Local time: 20:21
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 22
|
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2 hrs confidence: peer agreement (net): +1 Brush up
Explanation:
Seems the Asker baburam-San well grasps the meanings of the sentences.
Keeping corrections to a minimum, a native speaker would give a finishing
touch as follows:
1. （2nd sentence）「・・・エクセル・ロジスティクス株式会社であることが分かり、その旨、レポートしたあとで、」 (“found (分かり)” needs to be rendered in this Japanese context)
2. (If “intentional” as Kurt-san and Krishna-san say,) 「企業名を変更するよう指示を受けた」（”よう旨の”is not the expression we use. Either “よう”or”旨の.” For the end of the sentence, see 4.）
3. (If not “intentional”) 「企業名をそのように変更した。」
4. The “desu-masu” style (2nd sentence) and “da-dearu” style (1st sentence), which have lately been discussed, I guess, on this site, are mixed in the translation. The former, a polite, colloquial style; the latter, written bookish style. You can see the difference mostly by seeing how the verb at the end of a sentence conjugates. Better be unified.
Hope it helps.
| kokuritsu
Local time: 13:21
Specializes in field
Native speaker of:  Japanese
PRO pts in category: 32
|
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The translation workplace 
