17:42 Aug 1, 2011 

It really depends on the style of the text you are trying to translate, but this particular one does sound like a verse from Bible or some sort of prayer, i.e. a religious and poetic text, and repetitions in texts of this kind are not uncommon.
Repetitions should be avoided when they are unnecessary or redundant, but it's always better to keep in mind that they can also be used to create emphasis. Besides, if you are translating a text, you can hardly change it easily just because it sounds like there are too many repetitions (like "чёрный человек, чёрный, чёрный, чёрный человек" - you would not cut all these "чёрный" form five to one just because one is enough to understand that is was "чёрный", would you?). It was the author who put those four "give us" ' s there and he/she might have done it for reason. Whatever that reason was, neither the translator, nor the proofreader has the right to decide whether all four of them can stay, or one is enough (unless, maybe, it's a verse, and you need to change it to certain extent in order to keep the rythm and/or the rhyme in the translation).
And yes, in my opinion, your translation is just fine.