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از این حکم از چشمشان خون چکید / ز عالم نمودند قطع امید

English translation: Blood they shed hearing the ordinance/ Hope they lost in this world essence

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GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
Farsi (Persian) term or phrase:از این حکم از چشمشان خون چکید / ز عالم نمودند قطع امید
English translation:Blood they shed hearing the ordinance/ Hope they lost in this world essence
Entered by: Mansour Pahlevani
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20:48 Mar 26, 2007
Farsi (Persian) to English translations [Non-PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature
Farsi (Persian) term or phrase: از این حکم از چشمشان خون چکید / ز عالم نمودند قطع امید
How we can translate it in such a way that its Rhythm can be retained.
shila
Blood they shed hearing the ordinance/ Hope they lost in this world essence
Explanation:
Dear Shila,
I hope you find this translation useful. However, considering Minaa's translation, it seems that you are after translating the poem into a rhythmic prose. If so, please ignore my translation.
By the way, I always advised Dr Khazaeefar's book on literary translation and reading translated poems in Motarjem to my students (NOT THAT YOU ALREADY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, THIS IS JUST A FRIENDLY ADVICE. I, MYSELF, REVISE THEM FROM TIME TO TIME.).


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Note added at 1 hr (2007-03-26 22:26:01 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

SORRY ' IN THIS WORLD'S ESSENCE'
SO IT IS

BLOOD THEY SHED HEARING THE ORDINANCE/ HOPE THEY LOST IN THIS WORLD'S ESSENCE
Selected response from:

DR Maryam Taghavi
United Kingdom
Local time: 14:33
Grading comment
Thanks.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +1From this verdict with blood their eyes teared, as from the world all hope they sheared.
Edward Plaisance Jr
4 +1of this verdict, tears of blood they shed /of this world, hope they lostmina zand
4 +1Blood they shed hearing the ordinance/ Hope they lost in this world essenceDR Maryam Taghavi


  

Answers


1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
Blood they shed hearing the ordinance/ Hope they lost in this world essence


Explanation:
Dear Shila,
I hope you find this translation useful. However, considering Minaa's translation, it seems that you are after translating the poem into a rhythmic prose. If so, please ignore my translation.
By the way, I always advised Dr Khazaeefar's book on literary translation and reading translated poems in Motarjem to my students (NOT THAT YOU ALREADY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, THIS IS JUST A FRIENDLY ADVICE. I, MYSELF, REVISE THEM FROM TIME TO TIME.).


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2007-03-26 22:26:01 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

SORRY ' IN THIS WORLD'S ESSENCE'
SO IT IS

BLOOD THEY SHED HEARING THE ORDINANCE/ HOPE THEY LOST IN THIS WORLD'S ESSENCE

DR Maryam Taghavi
United Kingdom
Local time: 14:33
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in Farsi (Persian)Farsi (Persian)
PRO pts in category: 16
Grading comment
Thanks.
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thanks alot.I am proud of having Professors like you.

Asker: A note about Grading for this Question: I was unable for deciding which one is the best answer, so I decided to shoulder this to Mr_pahlavani. Thanks for his help.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Mansour Pahlevani
9 hrs
  -> Thankyou Mr. Pahlavi. Happy Eid.
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
of this verdict, tears of blood they shed /of this world, hope they lost


Explanation:
I hope it will help you, but in my opinion, translating poetry is impossible and it is only a useless effort.

mina zand
Local time: 18:03
Native speaker of: Native in Farsi (Persian)Farsi (Persian)
Notes to answerer
Asker: A note about Grading for this Question: I was unable for deciding which one is the best answer, so I decided to shoulder this to Mr_pahlavani. Thanks for his help.

Asker: Thanks alot for your best answer.I know translating poetry as a bit difficult , but as a whole it is delightful for me.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Mansour Pahlevani: ReallyI enjoyed it.
9 hrs
  -> thank you sir!
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

7 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
From this verdict with blood their eyes teared, as from the world all hope they sheared.


Explanation:
I can only say thank god for www.thesaurus.com
This was really an intellectual struggle trying to get the syllable count and rhyme to work out. I doubt that one could do it for a long poem.

Edward Plaisance Jr
Local time: 09:33
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 333

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Alireza Yazdunpanuh: Well done! this is absolutely far better than any other renditions.
17 hrs
  -> Thanks so much for the vote of confidence!
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