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le marketing local était peu efficace

English translation: suggestion

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11:41 Jun 29, 2004
French to English translations [PRO]
Marketing - Advertising / Public Relations
French term or phrase: le marketing local était peu efficace
Looking for help to improve my own still rather clumsy translation of the following sentence, taken from a document describing the advantages of a new customer relationship management system (CRM)... and how things were before they had it:

v Le marketing local était peu efficace : ciblages et critères de sélection en nombre limité, des pratiques très hétérogènes selon les agences et les régions, dans les faits un marketing local limité à la rubrique « vie des agences ».
French2English
United Kingdom
Local time: 23:53
English translation:suggestion
Explanation:
Here's my suggestion. I think it's smoother in English to break up the sentence as I reckon the last phrase is summing up what's gone before. Perhaps this would give you something to work from?

Local marketing was not very effective: targets and selection criteria were limited in number, while practices varied greatly between agencies and regions; in fact, local marketing was essentially restricted to the goings-on at each agency.
Selected response from:

HRiley
Local time: 00:53
Grading comment
Graded automatically based on peer agreement.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +4suggestion
HRiley
3clumsy too, because I'm no native speaker :-)
Emérentienne


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


17 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
sentence
clumsy too, because I'm no native speaker :-)


Explanation:
Local marketing practises lacked efficiency : objectives (targeting ?) and selection criteria were limited, practises differed from one agency or region to the next and in reality, local marketing policy was determined at agency level.

Emérentienne
France
Local time: 00:53
Works in field
Native speaker of: French
PRO pts in category: 4
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
sentence
suggestion


Explanation:
Here's my suggestion. I think it's smoother in English to break up the sentence as I reckon the last phrase is summing up what's gone before. Perhaps this would give you something to work from?

Local marketing was not very effective: targets and selection criteria were limited in number, while practices varied greatly between agencies and regions; in fact, local marketing was essentially restricted to the goings-on at each agency.

HRiley
Local time: 00:53
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
Graded automatically based on peer agreement.

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Jane Lamb-Ruiz: was essentially an agency-based "affair"
41 mins
  -> yes, I think your phrasing is neater

agree  gad: sounds good
1 hr
  -> :o)

agree  Brian Gaffney: V. good.
2 hrs
  -> :o)

agree  Georget
20 hrs
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Changes made by editors
May 7, 2011 - Changes made by Stéphanie Soudais:
Term askedsentence » le marketing local était peu efficace


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