French: À fleur d’eau, à fleur de peauEnglish translation: of the water's touch/of our skin's caress KudoZ The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators ... More |
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| GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW) | | French term or phrase: | À fleur d’eau, à fleur de peau | | English translation: | of the water's touch/of our skin's caress | | Entered by: | Claudia Vale |
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French to English translations [PRO] Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature | | French term or phrase: À fleur d’eau, à fleur de peau | | I have got "just above the water, skimming the surface" but I'm looking for something a little more poetic. The phrase is not part of a larger text within the translation itself - it stands alone - but it appears to come from a Jeanne Las Vergnas poem. The context of the translation is various authors'/artists' musings on the beauty of the Polynesian islands. |
| | Clarification request(s) and responsejuliebarba: 7:52am Apr 12, 2006: I thought that à fleur de peau means oversensitive as per some of the suggestions below...
- Claudia Vale: 6:43am Apr 13, 2006: Thank you all for your help. - I think Michelle's version is the best in context of the poem. Thank you all :o)
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| | of the water's touch/of our skin's caress | Explanation: I had to go straight to the poem to understand the entire meaning of the reference...even if they are musing on the beauty of the polynesian islands I think you can stick with the poetic rendering as the original quote is so poetic.
Here is my attempt: (including the original lines in the poem because I think a) they're lovely and b) they inform the translation
1.
Quand le moi affleure As I rise to the surface
à fleur d'eau of the water’s touch
De nos doigts effleurer to our brushing fingers
à fleur de peau of our skin’s caress
délicatement
délicieusement
inexorablement
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 7 hrs (2006-04-12 05:54:11 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
I wanted to mention too that although the original rhymes I think that some of the beauty of this line would be lost if it rhymed in English (okay, maybe just in some feeble rhyme I could attempt) so in mine I went more for rhythm and a consistency of the words... |
| Selected response from:
Michelle Jones Switzerland
| Note from asker to answererLovely, Michelle! Thank you. 4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer |
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| Poetry.
Explanation: First of all, this is not a Non-Pro question, with all respect.
Now, I'm no poet, but 4 points:
1.- "Polynesian islands", water/sea are very important.
2.- À fleur de peau means "very sensitive", as far as I know.
3.- "Eau" and "peau" rime, obviously, and that's important.
4.- I don't think that: "just above the water, skimming the surface" could fit.
Something like:
"Walker on the water."
"See the sea."
"Seize the seas."
Let's hear real poets.
Luck.
| Juan Jacob Mexico Native speaker of: Spanish, French PRO pts in category: 4
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| (gliding) gently over the water, over the skin
Explanation: *A fleur* means "brush over something lightly", or "to go over a surface in a gentle manner."
I prefer "gently" to "lightly."
You could say "gliding lightly", but "gently" sounds more beautiful.
Good luck!
| MatthewLaSon United States Native speaker of: English PRO pts in category: 8
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7 hrs confidence:  peer agreement (net): +2 |
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