to follow

English translation: Your success, our partnership, and an objective stance.

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)

German term or phrase:	Ihr Erfolg, Partnerschaftliche Zusammenarbeit, Objektivität
English translation:	Your success, our partnership, and an objective stance.
Entered by:	Maya Jurt

14:04 Nov 1, 2001

German to English translations [PRO]
Marketing - Marketing / Market Research

German term or phrase: to follow

Once again, I am asking native speakers to please verify the translation I am working on(Marketing not really being me field of choice, and usually I translate INTO German)I am grateful for constructive criticism and suggestions re: style!
Unsere Mission ist Ausdruck konsequenter Klientenorientierung und wird durch drei Gebiote charakterisiert:
Ihr Erfolg, Partnerschaftliche Zusammenarbeit, Objektivität

My translation:
Our mission
Our mission illustrates our total commitment to our client's needs and is exemplified by three core principles:

Your success,cooperation as partners, objectivity
Many thanks in advance!

Johanna Timm, PhD KudoZ activity Questions: 351 (none open) (6 closed without grading) Answers: 6134 Canada
Local time: 21:09

Our mission...

Explanation:
Your translation sis - of course - more than just alright. But it slightly smells of translation, mainly because it is not yery marketing-like but rather stilted German.

Here is an idea. It may help you find your own version:

Our mission illustrates total commitment to our clients' needs and is expressed by three core precepts (or principles): Your success, our partnership, and an objective stance.

Selected response from:

Maya Jurt
Switzerland
Local time: 06:09

Grading comment

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to review this. Maya is the lucky winner_ liked her wording of the three principles, but appreciate all contributions very much!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

Summary of answers provided

As below

Daniela Mühling

Read below

Dr. Fred Thomson

To translate a text of this type

Randi Stenstrop

Your success, our mutual co-operation, our objectivity

patpending

Our mission...

Maya Jurt

Personally, I think you've done a good job with it yourself

PaLa

Answers

19 mins confidence:

Your success, our mutual co-operation, our objectivity

Explanation:
If the "to follow" on which you invite comments is this, I would translate - as above - the "mission" (should you choose to accept it).

note that there is a hyphen in co-operation.

This idea emphasises the you, us, we.

patpending
Local time: 05:09

26 mins confidence:

Our mission...

Maya Jurt
Switzerland
Local time: 06:09
Specializes in field
Native speaker of:

German,

French
PRO pts in category: 4

Grading comment

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to review this. Maya is the lucky winner_ liked her wording of the three principles, but appreciate all contributions very much!

40 mins confidence:

As below

Explanation:
Our Mission
Our mission is to be completely committed to our clients' needs and is exemplified by three core principles:

Your success, cooperative partnership, objectivity

________________________

There are many ways to word this. I am not suggesting that my suggestion above is ideal. I would like to explain some of my choices, though. "Our mission illustrates"... this suggests that the mission is simply the document which describes their goals, and not their sincere ambitions. For this reason I would say...
Our mission is to be committed to our clients' needs...
Our mission is to give total commitment to our clients' needs...
Our mission of commitment to our client's needs is exemplified by three core principles...

_________________

Study some sample mission statements if you want to get a feel of the style used for such documents. Here are a few URLs to get you started:

http://www.nonprofits.org/npofaq/03/21.html
http://management.about.com/library/howto/ht_stmt.htm?once=t...
http://www.inc.com/freetools/details/0,7532,CID21391_REG7,00...

as above

Daniela Mühling
Spain
Local time: 06:09

45 mins confidence:

Read below

Explanation:
Our mission is to totally serve the needs of our clients, and it is exemplifed by these three precepts:
We want you to succeed; we want to work together with you as partners; and your goals are our goals.

Dr. Fred Thomson
United States
Local time: 22:09
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 24

1 hr confidence:

To translate a text of this type

Explanation:
... you need to forget the exact wording of the source text and concentrate on the meaning.

Here is my attempt - for what it's worth:

Our mission is total client orientation, which in our opinion consists of three things: Focus on your success, mutually respectful co-operation, and an objective approach.

Randi Stenstrop
Local time: 06:09
Native speaker of: Danish
PRO pts in category: 4

1 hr confidence:

Personally, I think you've done a good job with it yourself

Explanation:
...and you could spend an eternity trying to make sense of this kind of adman's waffle. The German doesn't really stand up to analysis, because it's too busy making all the right marketing noises to care much about meaning or consistency. I think you're in a typical translator's dilemma, because you're trying to square the circle here. I think what the text is trying to say is something like:

"Our aim is to serve our clients' needs and ensure their success [because they pay us lots of money to do so] by maintaining an objective, fair and cooperative attitude."

But of course it doesn't say it. To make it easier to sell, they've dressed it up a bit. Half the words in the sentence are just standing aroud trying to look important, which makes it hard to do a conscientious translation that also makes complete sense. This is probably why you felt unsure about it.

I don't personally think you need to change anything.

Beg your pardon. I had to get all that off my chest... time for a tea-break!

Martin Amis: "Money"

PaLa
Germany
Local time: 06:09

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