KudoZ home » German to English » Music

auftürmen/aufwärts weisenden/dicht

English translation: Another attempt

Advertisement

Login or register (free and only takes a few minutes) to participate in this question.

You will also have access to many other tools and opportunities designed for those who have language-related jobs
(or are passionate about them). Participation is free and the site has a strict confidentiality policy.
21:52 Dec 6, 2004
German to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Music
German term or phrase: auftürmen/aufwärts weisenden/dicht
Die Melodie tuermt sich auf in einem immer dichter werdenden Satz bis sie schliesslich, ihres urspruenglich aufwaerts weisenden Schlusses beraubt, auch wieder in den tiefsten Tiefen des Klavierbasses verendet.

(Suggestions of how to translate this sentence would be greatly appreciated)
njbeckett
Germany
Local time: 20:33
English translation:Another attempt
Explanation:
The music swells in a movement of increasingly dense texture until finally - robbed of (or cheated of) its originally aspiring conclusion - it returns to plummet the depths of the piano bass where it dies away.

Swell possibly for auftürmen.

I would prefer to call the texture of the movement dense rather than the movement itself.

Auch wieder suggests a "return".

Plummet the depths avoids "deepest depths".

Aspiring for weisenden aufwärts introduces a spiritual element.... perhaps "cheated of" instead of "robbed of".
Selected response from:

Anne Gillard-Groddeck
Local time: 20:33
Grading comment
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

Advertisement


Summary of answers provided
3 +2Another attemptAnne Gillard-Groddeck
3see ex.
Stephania Heine
3see---
Dmytro Voskolovych


Discussion entries: 3





  

Answers


1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
auftuermen/aufwaerts weisenden/dicht
see---


Explanation:
"Satz" - is probably "passage"
"robbed of its original upwardly pointing conclusion" - sounds just perfectly fine to my not native ear :-)
and finally, it would sound more balanced, if you you use "falls" instead of "dies", considering the melody's rising nature at the beginning (based on contraposition of two antomys "rise"-"fall").

Dmytro Voskolovych
Local time: 21:33
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian, Native in UkrainianUkrainian
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
auftuermen/aufwaerts weisenden/dicht
see ex.


Explanation:
The melody rises up in a movement ever increasing in density until at last - bereft of its once seemingly ascending conclusion - it sinks/falls/plunges into the deepest depths of the piano bass...

alright, it might not be the perfect fit but due to the poetic wording in German I would try to express that in English as well using fancy words such as ascending, bereft and all that.
I quite like the idea of reflecting :)) the "water" metaphore in the verb. I wrote *seemingly ascending* because the German "weisen" suggests that one would expect the melody to keep rising.

cheers

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 hrs 3 mins (2004-12-06 23:55:28 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

I suppose you could translate \"dicht\" as \"complex\" here, that\'s how it sounds to my native ear at least...
I don\'t know what kind of melody it is but auftürmen could also refer to there being added more and more instruments

Stephania Heine
Switzerland
Local time: 13:33
Native speaker of: Native in GermanGerman
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +2
Another attempt


Explanation:
The music swells in a movement of increasingly dense texture until finally - robbed of (or cheated of) its originally aspiring conclusion - it returns to plummet the depths of the piano bass where it dies away.

Swell possibly for auftürmen.

I would prefer to call the texture of the movement dense rather than the movement itself.

Auch wieder suggests a "return".

Plummet the depths avoids "deepest depths".

Aspiring for weisenden aufwärts introduces a spiritual element.... perhaps "cheated of" instead of "robbed of".

Anne Gillard-Groddeck
Local time: 20:33
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Marnen Laibow-Koser: Looks excellent. As a composer and program annotator myself, I think this is the clearest and least tortured-sounding suggestion yet offered.
40 mins
  -> Thanks; welcome relief after a day translating nasty letters

agree  Gabrielle Lyons
9 hrs
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)




Return to KudoZ list


KudoZ™ translation help
The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.



See also:



Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search