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Hebrew to English translations [PRO] Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature
Hebrew term or phrase:חיפצ
חיפצי בי בין ידיך ומוללי את תחנוני
נדרכת לה אהבתי כצליל נגה בסערה
Forgive me, but I'm trying to translate a poem and I'm stumped with these two lines--I can't find the terms חיפצ nor מולל in any dictionary, nor can I follow the sentence structure here. I'm wondering if there might be a typo somewhere? I'll be most grateful for any help you can offer!
Explanation: The form used in writing this poem is very similar to the form king david wrote the Psalms. an approximate translation od the two line could be:
"Desire me to be in your arms and tell me your supplications
My love is attuned as a note in a storm"
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 18 hrs 19 mins (2005-11-24 13:11:03 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
a slight correction to teh second line with thanks to Eynati
נוגה is to shine
"My love is attuned as a note shines in a storm"
Thank you so much for this lovely and helpful translation. I like the word "attuned". Also, I agree that arms could be used for "yadayim"--though I haven't decided which term I'll use--in the context of this poem, particularly with its use of language--in fact, in one of my dictionaries, "arms" is listed as one meaning of "yadayim." 4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer
I just noticed that in Akiva's translation, he's translated "taxanoni" as "your supplications", when in fact Eynati and Judith were correct in translating it as "my...". Sorry about that! In any case, it is really the combination of all of your comments that is helping me form my own translation of these lines in the context of the larger poem. Sorry I can't give points to all!
Eynati--Unfortunately the text I've been given does not have vowels, which is part of the reason I'm struggling here. I think I will have to ask the client to re-send it to me with vowels.
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Answers
15 mins confidence:
חיפצ
want me, touch my pleading
Explanation: la-khapotz = to want, to wish (and more poetic synonyms of same)
le-molel = palpate, touch
You are translating a really difficult piece. Is it Medieval?
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 21 mins (2005-11-23 19:12:57 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
Can you transliterate n-g-h? Is it nogah, or noge'ha? This is a complex and tricky metaphor (love / drawing a bow / sound / light / storm).
The asker has declined this answer Comment: Eynatic, thank you so much for your linguistic insights and for your comments on the suggested translations.
15 hrs confidence:
חיפצ
Desire
Explanation: The form used in writing this poem is very similar to the form king david wrote the Psalms. an approximate translation od the two line could be:
"Desire me to be in your arms and tell me your supplications
My love is attuned as a note in a storm"
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 18 hrs 19 mins (2005-11-24 13:11:03 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
a slight correction to teh second line with thanks to Eynati
נוגה is to shine
"My love is attuned as a note shines in a storm"
Akiva Brest Israel Local time: 03:39 Native speaker of: English, Hebrew PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
Thank you so much for this lovely and helpful translation. I like the word "attuned". Also, I agree that arms could be used for "yadayim"--though I haven't decided which term I'll use--in the context of this poem, particularly with its use of language--in fact, in one of my dictionaries, "arms" is listed as one meaning of "yadayim."
Explanation: Desire me between your palms, roll my entreaties between your fingertips, my love tautens like a plaintive note in a storm...
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 4 days (2005-11-28 14:16:20 GMT) Post-grading --------------------------------------------------
May I refer you to the Morfix Hebrew-English online dictionary:
מו
judithyf Local time: 03:39 Works in field Native speaker of: English PRO pts in category: 12
Grading comment
Thank you very much for your suggestion. While I think your translation is beautiful--especially "between your palms" and "my love tautens"--I don't like the addition of "fingertips" where there is no mention of this in the original. I adhere to the theory that a translator of poetry should not add her own images.
The asker has declined this answer Comment: Thank you very much for your suggestion. While I think your translation is beautiful--especially "between your palms" and "my love tautens"--I don't like the addition of "fingertips" where there is no mention of this in the original. I adhere to the theory that a translator of poetry should not add her own images.
The translation workplace 
