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rhyme (see question)

English translation: Return this house to its former glory

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12:19 Mar 7, 2007
Italian to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / comic strip
Italian term or phrase: rhyme (see question)
Torni la casa com’era una volta
la macchia del tempo sia subito tolta

Sia dentro che fuori ritorni il colore
cacciando lontano tristezza e grigiore!

I have to translate the above to English and it must rhyme. After various attempts I have given up. Please help me!!! It is part of a comic book storyboard.

Explanation: This is a spell cast by a fairy to return a house that has become very run down to its former glory. The owner of the house has also requested the fairy's help to rid him of his depression following his wife's death.
Lorraine Abbey
Ireland
Local time: 16:03
English translation:Return this house to its former glory
Explanation:
Return this house to its former glory
May the stain of time be just another old story

Bring back its colour inside and out
and chase away sadness beyond any doubt.

Well it rhymes !

And its much more fun than my translation I'm doing
and its much more fun than the boring translation I'm doing. Maybe we could do a spell to do my translation for me.
and izza ellluvvalotmorfundandisseertranslationaimduing

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Note added at 16 mins (2007-03-07 12:35:47 GMT)
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Oops had a bit of a problem posting this, Kudoz didn't seem to like "see below"
Selected response from:

James (Jim) Davis
Seychelles
Local time: 19:03
Grading comment
Thanks Jim and thanks to everyone for replying.
Regards,
Lorraine
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
3 +2Return this house to its former glory
James (Jim) Davis
3 +2another attemptxxxMaudarg
3my version
Patricia Crotty
3see below my humble rendition (with some poetic license)
Katarina Peters
2an attempt
Anthony Green


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


10 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 2/5Answerer confidence 2/5
an attempt


Explanation:
Just to get the ball rolling - hopefully this doggerel will inspire someone to do a bit better :)


May the house regain its former splendour
The marks of time be forever mended

Inside and out may colour return
Sadness and grey shall go and burn

or

Inside and out may colour bright
Make dreary sadness into eternal light



Anthony Green
Italy
Local time: 17:03
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 32
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

14 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +2
Return this house to its former glory


Explanation:
Return this house to its former glory
May the stain of time be just another old story

Bring back its colour inside and out
and chase away sadness beyond any doubt.

Well it rhymes !

And its much more fun than my translation I'm doing
and its much more fun than the boring translation I'm doing. Maybe we could do a spell to do my translation for me.
and izza ellluvvalotmorfundandisseertranslationaimduing

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 16 mins (2007-03-07 12:35:47 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Oops had a bit of a problem posting this, Kudoz didn't seem to like "see below"

James (Jim) Davis
Seychelles
Local time: 19:03
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 130
Grading comment
Thanks Jim and thanks to everyone for replying.
Regards,
Lorraine

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Adele Oliveri: "may the house return to its former glory..." :-)
1 hr
  -> Thank you Melippa

agree  Mary Stefan
1 hr
  -> Thanks Mary
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28 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +2
another attempt


Explanation:
This might sound similar to Jim's but I can assure you is all my own work!

May the house return to its former glory
Erasing the marks of time and history

Bring back its colour both in and outside
And let sad dullness drift away with the tide

As Jim says - it rhymes!

xxxMaudarg
United Kingdom
Local time: 16:03
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  James (Jim) Davis: Sure, course I believe you :-)
1 hr
  -> Thanks Jim - obviously a question of great minds... ;-)

agree  Anthony Green: Love the glory-history "visual rhyme" (I think!)
2 hrs
  -> Thanks Anthony - don't know how visual but I did think there was a connection
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4 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
see below my humble rendition (with some poetic license)


Explanation:
Let time bring back that old house once more
Let time erase all pain and woes of yore

Let golden sunshine in after the heavy rain
Let the lights and bright colours sparkle again

Katarina Peters
Canada
Local time: 11:03
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in HungarianHungarian, Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 8
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1 day2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
my version


Explanation:
..I can just never resist answering these ones.....

this is a more child like rendition

Make this house the way it was
Take away its sad old clothes

Dress it up in lots of colour
Bye bye winter, hello summer!

Patricia Crotty
Local time: 17:03
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 8
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