KudoZ home » Japanese to English » Poetry & Literature

置きてこしわれ

English translation: the me I left behind

04:31 Sep 17, 2009

Japanese to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / Japanese Tanka

Japanese term or phrase: 置きてこしわれ

I have this tanka to translate:
農も家事も
置きてこしわれ
地底より
湧く湯の玉
掬う諸手に

The second line escapes me. I cannot figure out the meaning of こしわれ. If it was in Kanji it would be helpful but here, I have no idea. :)

Thanks for helping a lost tanka lover!

Phil Touzeau-Yasuda KudoZ activity Questions: 5 (none open) Answers: 0 Japan
Local time: 07:40

English translation:the me I left behind

Explanation:
The Japanese below is the explanation from my mother (77-year-old Japanese who says anybody should be able to understand this!):
講釈：　畑仕事も家事もほっぽり投げてきてしまったけれど、大地の底から湧き出るこの温泉に浸かって、このお湯を（私のこの荒れた）両手で（尊い宝のように）掬い上げています。　しんどい畑仕事も、終わり無い主婦としての家の仕事も（まだしていなければならないのに）思い切って投げ出して来てしまったけれど、日ごろの心身ともの疲れを癒してくれる温泉に今こうして浸かって、両手でお湯を掬い上げては、しばしの憩いを楽しんでいます。　同時に、投げ出してきた農作業や家事がちょっと気に掛かりますけど…
開放感、安堵感、大地の恵みへの感謝、癒し、罪悪感などの交じり合った気持ちがにじみ出ている傑作。　「置きて来し我」は「置いてきた私」の文語調。　「湯の玉」は両手を丸くして大切そうに掬い上げたお湯をさすと同時に、その手からこぼれ落ちるお湯が水晶のように小さい玉に見えることも指していて、玉は宝石の意味もあるところから、今の自分には心も体もほぐしてくれている尊い自然の宝＝恵みと受け止めているので、一つの言葉に幾つもの意味が含まれるのを上手に使っています。　お湯の滑らかさと自分の荒れた手との対象も伺えます。
Please let me know if you need any of this translated.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 2 days35 mins (2009-09-19 05:07:08 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Actually, the literal translation is, "I left (the farm work and house work) behind." It just seemed to me like the person had left his/her usual self behind for a moment to soak in the hot spring... An escape, albeit temporary.

Selected response from:

Tina Wooden
United States
Local time: 17:40

Grading comment

Beautiful and poetic translation. Thanks a lot to your mother! :)
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

Summary of answers provided

the me I left behind

Tina Wooden

1 +1

Left and sat down lowly on my feet

Yumico Tanaka

Left and felt backache

Takako Shibuya

Discussion entries: 3

Answers

27 mins confidence:

Left and felt backache

Explanation:
It is just my guess. Beautiful tanka! I liked it.
She is a farmer who is very tired from tough works and had a strong backache. Literal translation is "broken back".

Takako Shibuya
Japan
Local time: 07:40
Native speaker of:

Japanese
PRO pts in category: 4

Notes to answerer

Asker: Thank you very much for your help! I agree, it's a wonderful tanka.

47 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

Left and sat down lowly on my feet

Explanation:
こしわれmeans sitting down with knees bent, your hip on the heels see the reference site.

I stopped (could be "finished") farming work and housechores and sat down deeply in the bath tub
to enjoy a hot bath with bubbles from underneath
which I scoop on my hands.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 7 hrs (2009-09-17 12:06:30 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

そうです、腰を割る、ということで「腰を落とす」と同義語ですね。

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 13 hrs (2009-09-17 17:47:01 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

MikaさんがDiscussionでおっしゃっているとおりで、最初はわたしもhot spring bath　の地底からと思いました。ただ、仕事も家事も置いて（うっちゃらかして）とことん疲れた状態からすぐさま飛び込めるような所にいくのだから、すくなうとも旅行で温泉に行くということではなく、自分の家にある温泉ということだろうと思います。

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 14 hrs (2009-09-17 18:44:01 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

After the day's hard farming work and housechores I sat down deeply in the bath tub
to enjoy a hot bath with bubbles from underneath
which I scooped on my hands.

Mikasan's point about the passive tense is correct. This is how I would translate the tanka.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 14 hrs (2009-09-17 18:45:16 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

maybe I would also change "underneath" to "underneath the ground"

Reference: http://kotobank.jp/word/%E8%85%B0%E3%82%92%E5%89%B2%E3%82%8B

Yumico Tanaka
Australia
Local time: 08:40
Works in field
Native speaker of:

Japanese
PRO pts in category: 16

Notes to answerer

Asker: Thanks Yumico for translating the whole tanka!