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Japanese to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature / Haiku | | Japanese term or phrase: 松手入れされ主なき日吉館 | | Translating a small poetry collection and I'm stuck on this haiku. How would you translate this? |
| | | Pine trees are beautifully kept (reminds me of) the owner who is passed away at the Hiyoshi House. | Explanation:
First I thought this is a 7,5,5 form, little unique style.
まつ、ていれされ
あるじなき
ひよしかん
That will be the same interpretation as that by Mizue Hayashi.
But I thought maybe it still is 5.7.7?
まつ(の）ていれ
され（ていた）主なき
ひよしかん
The owner of Hiyoshikan was a famous lady who died in 1998, and her death was reported in a national newspaper with a photo. She only opened the house for those whom she approved. The visitors formed a sort of fan club for her, and many poets or famous people liked staying there even though it was not a fancy hostel. I was tempted to put "Mansion" for the "House" but it may be construed wrong. It was not a big or beautiful mansion, but a humble hostel-house.
So, that's why I translated like above.
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Note added at 48 mins (2009-11-11 01:46:38 GMT)
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www.geocities.jp/hiwasakenji/zatuwa03.html
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Note added at 51 mins (2009-11-11 01:49:21 GMT)
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Correction, the lady herself was not famous. Her house had a reputation. Many people were sorry to hear the house was to be demolished.
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Note added at 52 mins (2009-11-11 01:51:18 GMT)
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So, this poem was probably written by someone who has stayed there before, reminiscent of the old days and the late lady, the landlord. |
| Selected response from:
  Yumico Tanaka
Local time: 13:55
| Grading comment | 4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer |
| |
| Summary of reference entries provided | | FYR | |
| Discussion entries: 0 |
|---|
Automatic update in 00:
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24 mins confidence:   peer agreement (net): +1
45 mins confidence: Pine trees are beautifully kept (reminds me of) the owner who is passed away at the Hiyoshi House.
Explanation:
First I thought this is a 7,5,5 form, little unique style.
まつ、ていれされ
あるじなき
ひよしかん
That will be the same interpretation as that by Mizue Hayashi.
But I thought maybe it still is 5.7.7?
まつ(の）ていれ
され（ていた）主なき
ひよしかん
The owner of Hiyoshikan was a famous lady who died in 1998, and her death was reported in a national newspaper with a photo. She only opened the house for those whom she approved. The visitors formed a sort of fan club for her, and many poets or famous people liked staying there even though it was not a fancy hostel. I was tempted to put "Mansion" for the "House" but it may be construed wrong. It was not a big or beautiful mansion, but a humble hostel-house.
So, that's why I translated like above.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 48 mins (2009-11-11 01:46:38 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
www.geocities.jp/hiwasakenji/zatuwa03.html
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 51 mins (2009-11-11 01:49:21 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
Correction, the lady herself was not famous. Her house had a reputation. Many people were sorry to hear the house was to be demolished.
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 52 mins (2009-11-11 01:51:18 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
So, this poem was probably written by someone who has stayed there before, reminiscent of the old days and the late lady, the landlord.
| Yumico Tanaka
Local time: 13:55
Works in field
Native speaker of:  Japanese
PRO pts in category: 16
|
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The translation workplace 
