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ひと筋の峡のしづもり深くして越後の冬の雪のおもたさ

English translation: A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.


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06:23 Nov 12, 2009
Japanese to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature
Japanese term or phrase: ひと筋の峡のしづもり深くして越後の冬の雪のおもたさ
Sorry for asking so many questions, I'm nearly done with this very difficult project~!
I'm stuck on this poem, any advice would be great :)
Lara Silbert
Local time: 16:25
English translation:A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.
Explanation:
My interpretation is derived as per the below:

-ひと筋 = a solitary line (there are many words for 筋 but I chose "line" in this case to keep it simple)

-峡 is "ravine" or "gorge" in the Nelson's Japanese Character Dictionary...I chose "ravine" because I thought it felt more poetic for this piece)

-のしづもり深くして = deep and hushed (I thought "hushed" had a feeling of being very, very quiet from the thick blanket of snow)

-越後の冬 = winter in Echigo

-の雪のおもたさ = weighty snow (I felt that "weighty" has the feeling of heaviness)

A solitary line of ravine
buried deep and hushed
by the weighty winter’s snow
in Echigo.
Selected response from:

Joyce A
Thailand
Local time: 11:25
Grading comment
thanks!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
3 +3A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.
Joyce A
1 +3vide infra
Takako S.
3 +1英語Textwork Japan


  

Answers


1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +1
英語


Explanation:
雪がたくさん降り積もって谷間が狭くなったようすを「ひと筋」と表現。そのひと筋になった谷間を眺められるくらい遠い場所で、雪に埋もれた山の静けさと越後(北陸)の冬の厳しさを歌った詩だと思います。

Textwork Japan
Local time: 06:25
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in JapaneseJapanese

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Takako S.
5 mins
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 1/5Answerer confidence 1/5 peer agreement (net): +3
vide infra


Explanation:
Straight stretch of mountain path
Deep silence is wrapping around
Heavy snow in Echigo winter

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2009-11-12 08:18:23 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Narrow line of mountain path

Based on Textwork Japan-san's explanation


    Reference: http://www.weblio.jp/content/%E8%96%AC%E7%8E%89%E3%81%AE%E7%...
    Reference: http://isamiasi.shashin-haiku.jp/node/8302
Takako S.
Japan
Local time: 13:25
Native speaker of: Native in JapaneseJapanese
PRO pts in category: 4

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Charlesp
58 mins
  -> Thank you!

agree  Yasutomo Kanazawa
1 hr
  -> Thank you!

agree  Textwork Japan
1 hr
  -> Thank you!
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7 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +3
A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.


Explanation:
My interpretation is derived as per the below:

-ひと筋 = a solitary line (there are many words for 筋 but I chose "line" in this case to keep it simple)

-峡 is "ravine" or "gorge" in the Nelson's Japanese Character Dictionary...I chose "ravine" because I thought it felt more poetic for this piece)

-のしづもり深くして = deep and hushed (I thought "hushed" had a feeling of being very, very quiet from the thick blanket of snow)

-越後の冬 = winter in Echigo

-の雪のおもたさ = weighty snow (I felt that "weighty" has the feeling of heaviness)

A solitary line of ravine
buried deep and hushed
by the weighty winter’s snow
in Echigo.


Joyce A
Thailand
Local time: 11:25
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 37
Grading comment
thanks!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Shannon Morales: Very nice!
52 mins
  -> Thank you, Shannon!

agree  Yumico Tanaka: Beautiful!
8 hrs
  -> Thank you, Yumico!

agree  tuapleepasaa: evoking an image........... -
14 hrs
  -> Thank you, mulberryvalley!
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