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ひと筋の峡のしづもり深くして越後の冬の雪のおもたさ

English translation: A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.

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06:23 Nov 12, 2009

Japanese to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature

Japanese term or phrase: ひと筋の峡のしづもり深くして越後の冬の雪のおもたさ

Sorry for asking so many questions, I'm nearly done with this very difficult project~!
I'm stuck on this poem, any advice would be great :)

Lara Silbert KudoZ activity Questions: 127 (4 open) (1 closed without grading) Answers: 16
Local time: 16:25

English translation:A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.

Explanation:
My interpretation is derived as per the below:

-ひと筋 = a solitary line (there are many words for 筋 but I chose "line" in this case to keep it simple)

-峡 is "ravine" or "gorge" in the Nelson's Japanese Character Dictionary...I chose "ravine" because I thought it felt more poetic for this piece)

-のしづもり深くして = deep and hushed (I thought "hushed" had a feeling of being very, very quiet from the thick blanket of snow)

-越後の冬 = winter in Echigo

-の雪のおもたさ = weighty snow (I felt that "weighty" has the feeling of heaviness)

A solitary line of ravine
buried deep and hushed
by the weighty winter’s snow
in Echigo.

Selected response from:

Joyce A
Thailand
Local time: 11:25

Grading comment

thanks!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

Summary of answers provided

3 +3

A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.

Joyce A

1 +3

vide infra

Takako S.

3 +1

英語

Textwork Japan

Answers

1 hr confidence:

peer agreement (net): +1

英語

Explanation:
雪がたくさん降り積もって谷間が狭くなったようすを「ひと筋」と表現。そのひと筋になった谷間を眺められるくらい遠い場所で、雪に埋もれた山の静けさと越後（北陸）の冬の厳しさを歌った詩だと思います。

Textwork Japan
Local time: 06:25
Works in field
Native speaker of:

Japanese

1 hr confidence:

peer agreement (net): +3

vide infra

Explanation:
Straight stretch of mountain path
Deep silence is wrapping around
Heavy snow in Echigo winter

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2009-11-12 08:18:23 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Narrow line of mountain path

Based on Textwork Japan-san's explanation

Reference: http://www.weblio.jp/content/%E8%96%AC%E7%8E%89%E3%81%AE%E7%...
Reference: http://isamiasi.shashin-haiku.jp/node/8302

Takako S.
Japan
Local time: 13:25
Native speaker of:

Japanese
PRO pts in category: 4

7 hrs confidence:

peer agreement (net): +3

A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.

Joyce A
Thailand
Local time: 11:25
Native speaker of:

English
PRO pts in category: 37

Grading comment

thanks!

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ひと筋の峡のしづもり深くして越後の冬の雪のおもたさ

English translation: A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.

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ひと筋の峡のしづもり深くして越後の冬の雪のおもたさ

English translation: A solitary line of ravine buried deep and hushed by the weighty winter's snow in Echigo.

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KudoZ™ translation helpThe KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.

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