Difficult phrase - please help.

English translation: The need to strengthen control...

00:04 Jan 26, 2004
Russian to English translations [PRO]
Bus/Financial - Accounting
Russian term or phrase: Difficult phrase - please help.
Необходимость усиления контроля устранения недостатков, обнаруженных при проверках и отслеживания их исполнения.
Alexander Kolegov
English translation:The need to strengthen control...
Explanation:
...of rectifying faults discovered during checks, and of keeping track of this process.

What does "их" refer to here? It can't be "недостатков", why would you want to "fulfil" those? I think the original does not make sense, so I have altered the wording to convey what I think it means.
Selected response from:

Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 15:09
Grading comment
Thanks a lot for your version!

Best regards,
Alexander
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
3 +3The need to strengthen control...
Jack Doughty
4 +1...
Alex Zelkind (X)
4Necessity of strengthening control of elimination of defects
Сергей Лузан
4enforce control over elimination of revealed faults
Sergey Gorelik


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


7 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +3
The need to strengthen control...


Explanation:
...of rectifying faults discovered during checks, and of keeping track of this process.

What does "их" refer to here? It can't be "недостатков", why would you want to "fulfil" those? I think the original does not make sense, so I have altered the wording to convey what I think it means.

Jack Doughty
United Kingdom
Local time: 15:09
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 122
Grading comment
Thanks a lot for your version!

Best regards,
Alexander

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Alexander Shchekotin (X): их may be проверки... it's a sample of beuracratic language, where everything sounds pleasant to a boss but if you get into details you'll get crazy... triple "control": контроль, отслеживание and проверка
25 mins

agree  manana
3 hrs

agree  2rush: OR maybe: The need for greater control over elimination of deficiencies revealed during checks (inspections), and over keeping track of this process
3 hrs
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12 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
...


Explanation:
Need(necessity)of control strenghthening over removal of defects which were discovered during verification process and tracking of their execution

Alex Zelkind (X)
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Protradit: Need to enhance monitoring the elimination of defective features discovered during audits and tracking their [sic] implementation [Before implementation the wrong word 'их' used should be singular ]
43 mins
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
Necessity of strengthening control of elimination of defects


Explanation:
revealed during checks, and following-up of the verification/(implemetation, execution)process.
Good luck, Alexander Kolegov!
Re.: 4. Russian-English Dictionary over 160 000 words & expressions, 1997, ISBN 5-200-02419, Russian-English Dictionary, 34 000 words approx., Arakin, Soviet Encyclopedia Publ. House, Moscow

Сергей Лузан
Russian Federation
Local time: 17:09
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 16
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5 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
enforce control over elimination of revealed faults


Explanation:
По-моему, русская фраза заслуживает существенного упрощения

Sergey Gorelik
Local time: 17:09
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 4
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