KudoZ home » Russian to English » Poetry & Literature

please help with the structure

English translation: ниже

Advertisement

Login or register (free and only takes a few minutes) to participate in this question.

You will also have access to many other tools and opportunities designed for those who have language-related jobs
(or are passionate about them). Participation is free and the site has a strict confidentiality policy.
07:30 Apr 6, 2008
Russian to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature
Russian term or phrase: please help with the structure
Дело в том, что я, с одной стороны, старался подавить в себе все "человеческие слабости", чтобы, работая не покладая рук, обеспечить счастливую жизнь всем, в том числе и самому себе. Но, с другой стороны, оказалось, что понятие "счастливая жизнь" включает в себя и то, что называют "человеческими слабостями", от чего я отказался: получение удовольствия от обильной вкусной пищи и вина, от комфортного жилья, от успехов в карьере, общения с женщинами – получение любых удовольствий.

Очень прошу помочь выстроить последнюю часть второго предложения (там, где идет перечисление всяческих удовольствий). I’m not really happy with my own version, which is:

But, on the other hand, it turned out that the concept of "happy life" did include the things called "human weaknesses" which I had renounced: you want to have plenty of good food and drinks, a comfortable house to live in, a successful career or success with women, or any other pleasures.
Andrew Vdovin
Local time: 10:48
English translation:ниже
Explanation:
Your's okey.
I'd use 'like' instead of 'you want to have'

then - plenty of delicious food and wine
Selected response from:

Nurzhan KZ
Local time: 08:48
Grading comment
Thank you very much for your help! Thanks everybody!!!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

Advertisement


Summary of answers provided
3 +2нижеNurzhan KZ
5sm. nizheDeborah Hoffman
4 +1But, on the other hand, it turned out that the concept of "happy life" included things I have givennatasha stoyanova
4... the pleasures of plentiful tasty food and good wine,... [see below]
Rachel Douglas
4The notion of “a happy life” also includes so called “human weaknesses” namely: ... , which I renou
Alex Koudlai
4On the other hand, however, it transpired...
Lena Watson
1which I have refused as: wanting ..., wishing ..., ...ing..., ...ing.
Alexandra Taggart


  

Answers


6 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +2
ниже


Explanation:
Your's okey.
I'd use 'like' instead of 'you want to have'

then - plenty of delicious food and wine


Nurzhan KZ
Local time: 08:48
Native speaker of: Native in KazakhKazakh
PRO pts in category: 12
Grading comment
Thank you very much for your help! Thanks everybody!!!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Jack Doughty: If the person speaking is now in the USA, maybe "the pursuit of happiness" (quoting the US Declaration of Independence) instead of "the happy life".
38 mins
  -> спасибо

agree  svetlana cosquéric: ... renounced: plenty of ....
7 hrs
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

30 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
But, on the other hand, it turned out that the concept of "happy life" included things I have given


Explanation:
But, on the other hand, it turned out that the concept of "happy life" included things I have given up - the pleasure of plentiful delicious food and good wine, a comfortable house to live in, a successful career, sharing time with ladies - all those things bringing delights.

natasha stoyanova
Bulgaria
Local time: 06:48
Native speaker of: Native in BulgarianBulgarian
PRO pts in category: 11

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  irinachamritski
2 hrs
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
On the other hand, however, it transpired...


Explanation:
On the other hand, however, it transpired that the concept of "happy life" also comprised what was known as "human weaknesses", all of which I had given up, namely, enjoying plentiful good food and wine, comfortable housing, career successes, relationships with women, in other words, all those sensual pleasures.

Lena Watson
Local time: 04:48
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 4
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

4 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
The notion of “a happy life” also includes so called “human weaknesses” namely: ... , which I renou


Explanation:
By the way, the phrase “to live a happy life” is often used in academic circles, particularly when Aristotle’s Ethics is discussed
Therefore, it is quite appropriate in philosophizing of a writer on the subject.

Alex Koudlai
United States
Local time: 23:48
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 14
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

5 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
... the pleasures of plentiful tasty food and good wine,... [see below]


Explanation:
You wanted the last part of the second sentence, I believe:

... had renounced: the pleasures of plentiful tasty food and good wine, a comfortable place to live, a successful career, the company of women - just every pleasure imaginable.

I wouldn't use "you want to..." because it changes the personal sense of his narration.

For the first part of that sentence, I think what you have is OK, except add an article: "a happy life." And maybe "those things", rather than "the things".

In the two sentences together, it would be quite nice to get rid of "on the one hand ... on the other hand", which often makes English translations of "с одной стороны ... с другой" sound cluttered. Maybe something like this: " The point is, that the way I had approached things was to try and suppress... As it turned out, however, the concept of 'a happy life'...

Rachel Douglas
United States
Local time: 23:48
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 380
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

16 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
sm. nizhe


Explanation:
An option - by the way I struggle with things like this all the time! Trying to re-arrange the English syntax where meaning is conveyed by proximity rather than cases can be a real bear!

OK, to business:

But on the other hand the concept of "a happy life" turned out to include things known as "human weaknesses," things I'd already renounced: enjoying an abundance of good food and wine, comfortable lodgings, career success, female companionship, or any sort of pleasure.

Or even:

But on the other hand the concept of "a happy life" turned out to include things I'd already renounced: such "human weaknesses" as enjoying an abundance of good food and wine, comfortable lodgings, career success, female companionship, or any sort of pleasure.

Udachi!

Deborah Hoffman
Local time: 23:48
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 36
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

97 days   confidence: Answerer confidence 1/5Answerer confidence 1/5
which I have refused as: wanting ..., wishing ..., ...ing..., ...ing.


Explanation:
Your problem is the connection, nouns should follow the nouns:"human weaknesses",wantings and wishings.

Alexandra Taggart
Russian Federation
Local time: 06:48
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 32
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)




Return to KudoZ list


KudoZ™ translation help
The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.



See also:



Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search