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окно в полнеба глубиной

English translation: a window that framed half the deepening sky

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20:06 Feb 8, 2009
Russian to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Poetry & Literature
Russian term or phrase: окно в полнеба глубиной
Лампу включать не хотелось. Повеяло свежестью и сильным ароматом акации. Май, от него голова кругом идет. Моника повернулась к синему распахнутому окну* в полнеба глубиной*.Белая полная луна свысока жалела всё живое. Большая Москва замерла тревожно под ней.


The political events in Poland have had strong repercussions in Moscow which is unable to interfere this time. Already many progressive Russian writers have written books about legendary “Solidarity” and it’s founder L. Valensa that later in history would be defined by sociologists as a start of the collapse of Soviet Empire.
Monica is Polish by blood, she is the daughter of a Polish diplomat in Moscow and she was brought up by her grandmother in the best Polish traditions: she is a Catholic, loves classical music and she loves to read. Having been an artist she can not stop her imagination taking her away from the reality when she reads something. Reading an impressive essay about “Solidarity” she imagines herself as Jean d’Ark leading people onto barricades, she cries out in an abundance of overwhelming emotions during her reading . She finishes reading and:

< There wasn’t any wish to switch on the lamp. A breath of freshness together with a strong aroma of acacia entered the room. The month of May, it gave a feeling of vertigo. Monica looked into the blue through a window that was flung wide open *в полнеба глубиной*. A white waxing moon was imparting it’s sorrow to everything alive. Moscow was spreading it’s for boding underneath it . >

These Russian words “a window half-sky deep” are about large space in front of Monica, something similar to the sensation you may have when you are standing at the edge of the mountain ridge. She obviously has strong feelings and these words are more about them not the window. My own variations about this “voluminous” window do not satisfy me.
Please, help.
Alexandra Taggart
Russian Federation
Local time: 20:47
English translation:a window that framed half the deepening sky
Explanation:
I see the image of a large window that holds half the sky within its frame.
Selected response from:

Paul Kachur
Germany
Local time: 19:47
Grading comment
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +4window, revealing an almost bottomless sapphire sky
Mark Berelekhis
3 +3a window half as wide as the sky
David Knowles
4(the flung-open) window, half the night blue sky visible beyond it...
Victoria dlV
4a window that framed half the deepening sky
Paul Kachur
3 +1to the breathtaking sky
Henry Schroeder
3a window looking over half the sky
Andrew Vdovin
3well of sky in the ceiling window
axpamen


  

Answers


53 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
a window that framed half the deepening sky


Explanation:
I see the image of a large window that holds half the sky within its frame.

Paul Kachur
Germany
Local time: 19:47
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4
Notes to answerer
Asker: "Deepening" in your suggested description I see as " increasing in depth". The frame is ordinary. Thank you.

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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
window, revealing an almost bottomless sapphire sky


Explanation:
Trade one pretty image for another. I've tried various literal and semi-literal versions, but none of them work, IMO.

Mark Berelekhis
United States
Local time: 13:47
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian, Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 658
1 corroborated select project
in this pair and field What is ProZ.com Project History(SM)?
Notes to answerer
Asker: Bottomless sky? Topless ocean?

Asker: I believe you went out of the frame too far: bottomless space, endless Universe...Thank you for the flight, I am with you in my heart. I have a contact with the author who wants it "Exactly the same, ex-zakt-ly!!!" and repeats it to me all the time.

Asker: Драка за "рога" шла два дня. Я победила-убедила в их необходимости и поставила в текст. Спасибо ещё ра.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Aleksey Chervinskiy: window that opened into the bottomless sky? /// she turned to the wide-open window and her gaze drowned in the bottomless sky - i think that's more or less what is meant in the original, but comes out kinda long in my non-native English
2 hrs
  -> Good as well. Thank you, Aleksey.

agree  Sergei Tumanov
11 hrs
  -> Thank you, Sergei.

agree  ayast
17 hrs
  -> Thank you, ayast.

agree  Tevah_Trans: I think "almost" is лишнее - what is almost-infinity? Still infinity. So drop the "half" imho and you're good to go. Sapphire is a nice touch too. :)
18 hrs
  -> That's actually the one thing I was on the fence about, hehe. Thanks, Tevah :)
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +3
a window half as wide as the sky


Explanation:
Maybe "wide" rather than "deep" would work in English. (Also "its" for the possessive!)

David Knowles
Local time: 18:47
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 198
Notes to answerer
Asker: The trouble is that the window is an ordinary sized window revealing the depth of the sky.

Asker: Thanks a lot!


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Sabina Metcalf
4 mins

agree  Emil Tubinshlak
21 mins

neutral  Sergei Tumanov: при обратном переводе это получится "окно в пол-неба шириной". Тоже красиво. Но в этом предложении героиня говорит про окно, через которое можно очень далеко заглянуть. Мое возражение, разумеется, чисто техническое, не более.
11 hrs

agree  katerina turevich: only i would add 'as the sky it framed" to it.
14 hrs
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9 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
a window looking over half the sky


Explanation:
a window revealing half (of) the (deep blue) sky

Andrew Vdovin
Local time: 00:47
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 80
Notes to answerer
Asker: Just in reverse:" window overlooking half the sky". Sounds close. Thanks.

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12 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
well of sky in the ceiling window


Explanation:
колодец неба голубой)))
можно попробовать sky's window

axpamen
Local time: 20:47
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 4
Notes to answerer
Asker: Very well you can say "a bucket of sky". Thanks.

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14 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +1
to the breathtaking sky


Explanation:
I would definitely avoid a dependent clause or gerund construction. Defining the amount of sky she sees is totally unimportant - obviously she can't see the whole sky through her window.

Henry Schroeder
United States
Local time: 13:47
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 174
Notes to answerer
Asker: Your suggestion is nice but it is almost the way of getting round the translation. Thank you for trying to help me.


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  katerina turevich: I agree.
1 hr
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2 days7 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
(the flung-open) window, half the night blue sky visible beyond it...


Explanation:
one has to take into account that it is night, therefore one does not expect to read a description of 'a pale blue' sky. The colour of the sky however is important, and the word 'night' conjures up imagery of a velvety, inky blue sky...

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 days (2009-02-15 07:36:31 GMT) Post-grading
--------------------------------------------------

Sorry, the above should read: 'night-blue'; or better still 'dusky blue sky'

Victoria dlV
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thanks my Majesty! The trouble is that I am running out of lines. I am very short with time as well - that is the demand of the author. To say frankly, it is possible to put EVERYTHING I've done so far much, much better. Yes, you are right, he has put it "Blue" not for nothing, in a spring time the evening sky is bright blue, even electric azure. Unfortunately I've sent this part of the text already. Thank you, I see, the poetry within the prose does touch you. Thanks.

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