https://www.proz.com/kudoz/russian-to-english/slang/2143936-%D1%8F-%D1%85%D1%83%D0%B4%D0%B5%D1%8E-%D0%B1%D0%B5%D0%B7-%D0%B1%D0%B0%D1%8F%D0%BD%D0%B0.html

я худею без баяна

English translation: trombone + "skin and bone" --- please, see below

00:25 Sep 17, 2007
Russian to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Slang
Russian term or phrase: я худею без баяна
разговор (в армии, после назначения в кач-ве наказания "духу" ночных работ, чтобы он похудел)

— У тебя баян есть?
— Нет.
— Значит, твоим лозунгом будет: "Я худею без баяна!"

это шутка юмора. я не представляю, с какой стороны к ней подойти при переводе. пожалуйста, поделитесь соображениями. спасибо!
zmejka
Local time: 18:10
English translation:trombone + "skin and bone" --- please, see below
Explanation:
My suggestion is to forget the accordion and come up with something that would sound as preposterous in English as the army joke does in Russian:

- Do you play the trombone?
- No, I don't.
- OK, so your slogan will be, "I don't play the trombone, but I'll be all skin and bone."
Selected response from:

Roman Ivashkiv
Local time: 09:10
Grading comment
thanks for your help and opinions, everyone!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +2trombone + "skin and bone" --- please, see below
Roman Ivashkiv
4I am a loser without a bayan /accordion
Dorene Cornwell
3Could be a reference to this
Alexander Demyanov
3см.
Anna Makhorkina
3below
Mark Berelekhis
2smotri nizhe
The Misha


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


53 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
Could be a reference to this


Explanation:
http://www.stihi.ru/poems/2007/02/09-2408.html

Alexander Demyanov
Local time: 11:10
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 55

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  The Misha: Great poem, but how do we translate?/You are perfectly right, and I stand corrected. My apologies.
7 mins
  -> Hi Misha. I don't participate in the quiz game. Nor am I interested in whose is the biggest. If I don't have a translation, doesn't mean I should keep info that (imo) may turn out useful for the asker, to myself.
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59 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 2/5Answerer confidence 2/5
smotri nizhe


Explanation:
You a right, you can't translate this verbatim. How about this:

- Wanna loose a few pounds?
- Sure.
- OK, so you'll be a weight looser.

Gives you a nice play on "looser" too. Also, see if you can use "rookie" for "dukh". Let's see what other folks think too.

The Misha
Local time: 11:10
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 16

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
neutral  Roman Ivashkiv: lose/loser, though. Unless you meant that the word play is "a loose loser" ;-)
54 mins
  -> OOPS, my spelling bad. Loser, that's what I meant
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1 hr   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
см.


Explanation:
Юмор плоский, поэтому можно особо не волноваться на счет того, как бы его завернуть в привлекательную обертку для веселения англоязычной публики. :)
Можно, например, просто так:

- Do you have an accordion?
-No.
-Then your moto will be "No accordion - no weight!"

or something along those lines. :)


Anna Makhorkina
United States
Local time: 11:10
Native speaker of: Native in UkrainianUkrainian, Native in RussianRussian
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
trombone + "skin and bone" --- please, see below


Explanation:
My suggestion is to forget the accordion and come up with something that would sound as preposterous in English as the army joke does in Russian:

- Do you play the trombone?
- No, I don't.
- OK, so your slogan will be, "I don't play the trombone, but I'll be all skin and bone."

Roman Ivashkiv
Local time: 09:10
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in UkrainianUkrainian
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
thanks for your help and opinions, everyone!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Dilshod Madolimov
6 hrs
  -> thank you, Dilshod.

agree  Konstantin Kisin: very good
7 hrs
  -> Thank you, Konstantin.
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4 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
below


Explanation:
Unless this 'баян' makes an appearance somewhere else in the story (which doesn't seem to be the case), the point of this scene is the total randomness of it in relation to losing weight. Thus, I don't think you need anything related specifically to it; rather, use something just as random that fits.

One option:

- What can you tell me about quantum physic and/or the Cuban missile crisis?
- Not much.
- Then your motto should be "Weight loss for dummies" (play on the English "xxx for dummies")

Another:

- Want to be a superhero?
- Sure.
- Then you shall be known as diet man -- champion of the fat-free!


The possibilities here really are endless. Enjoy.

Mark Berelekhis
United States
Local time: 11:10
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in RussianRussian, Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 123
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2 days 2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
I am a loser without a bayan /accordion


Explanation:
"I am a loser" means both "I am losing weight" and "I have no social status." I think that is the play on words here.

Dorene Cornwell
Local time: 08:10
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 15
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