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help with a sentence

English translation: 2 suggestions

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15:52 Jul 25, 2005
Spanish to English translations [PRO]
Art/Literary - Art, Arts & Crafts, Painting / sculpture
Spanish term or phrase: help with a sentence
I'd appreciate knowing if I've translated this sentence correctly. It's from the book on the Mexican sculpture exhibit, which has "birds" as a theme. The exhibit is in the artist's hometown (hence the reference to "reuniting"). The original reads:

... las esculturas llegan al Museo para emprender el vuelo de la mano de los espectadores en un ejercicio constante de encuentro y reencuentro con el genio de un creador indiscutible.

My trans:
The sculptures arrive at the Museum to take flight together with the spectators, in an ongoing exercise of meeting and reuniting with the genius of an indisputable creative artist.

I'm not happy with this, so I'd appreciate any ideas on how to improve it. Thanks!
Patricia Rosas
United States
Local time: 01:36
English translation:2 suggestions
Explanation:
Hola Patricia:
Me gusta en general tu traducción. Cambiaría "together with" por "along with".
and it should be "indisputably creative artist".

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 9 mins (2005-07-25 16:01:14 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

OK.. a ver si te gusta como queda:


These scuptures arrive at the Museum to take flight along with the public, in a dynamic exercise of meeting and reuniting with the indisputably creative genius of their creator.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 26 mins (2005-07-25 16:18:51 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

strike the word \"creative\" from the phrase above:

These scuptures arrive at the Museum to take flight along with the public, in a dynamic exercise of meeting and reuniting with the indisputably genius of their creator.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 27 mins (2005-07-25 16:19:23 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

and change to \"indisputable\"!!!!
Selected response from:

George Rabel
Local time: 04:36
Grading comment
Won't make a habit of shutting down questions so fast, but I'm sending this in and George's solution keeps the bird-flight metaphor and also another prominent in the book--the artist as the God-like creator of the birds. Thank you again, Geoge, and thanks to everyone--you are all treasures!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +12 suggestions
George Rabel
5begin their public flightJane Lamb-Ruiz
3It was fine as is - here's another variation
Elizabeth Lyons


  

Answers


13 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5
It was fine as is - here's another variation


Explanation:
Here's just another possibility:

The sculptures arrive at the Museum to transport the spectators in a continual revelation of the genius of an indisputably creative artist.


Elizabeth Lyons
United States
Local time: 01:36
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 4
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22 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 5/5
begin their public flight


Explanation:
The sculptures arrive at the Museum to begin their public flight in a constant to-and-fro with the genius of an indisputable creative artist.

keeping the bird metaphor


Jane Lamb-Ruiz
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in PortuguesePortuguese
PRO pts in category: 99
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

5 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
2 suggestions


Explanation:
Hola Patricia:
Me gusta en general tu traducción. Cambiaría "together with" por "along with".
and it should be "indisputably creative artist".

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 9 mins (2005-07-25 16:01:14 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

OK.. a ver si te gusta como queda:


These scuptures arrive at the Museum to take flight along with the public, in a dynamic exercise of meeting and reuniting with the indisputably creative genius of their creator.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 26 mins (2005-07-25 16:18:51 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

strike the word \"creative\" from the phrase above:

These scuptures arrive at the Museum to take flight along with the public, in a dynamic exercise of meeting and reuniting with the indisputably genius of their creator.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 27 mins (2005-07-25 16:19:23 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

and change to \"indisputable\"!!!!

George Rabel
Local time: 04:36
Native speaker of: Spanish
PRO pts in category: 44
Grading comment
Won't make a habit of shutting down questions so fast, but I'm sending this in and George's solution keeps the bird-flight metaphor and also another prominent in the book--the artist as the God-like creator of the birds. Thank you again, Geoge, and thanks to everyone--you are all treasures!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Veronique Bodoutchian: Sólo le añadiría a la sugerencia de George, (pero es sólo una sugerencia): with the genius of an artist of indisputable creativity
11 mins
  -> Muchas gracias, Veronique
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