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help with phrase

English translation: ayuda ...

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22:37 Aug 6, 2006
Spanish to English translations [PRO]
Bus/Financial - Business/Commerce (general)
Spanish term or phrase: help with phrase
Evidentemente todo el trabajo que te requirió la apertura de tu taller, más la apertura del local, mas la apertura de tu empresa en sí, no te dio tiempo a analizar los resultados....

My version:
Evidently/No doubt, all the efforts you went through for the opening of your workshop, plus the opening of the shop, plus the actual setting of your business, did not allow you to assess the results...

My doubt:
Does it sound natural? What do you think about the "...plus..., plus..." construction?

It is a business communication, quite plain and colloquial.

Thxs to all!
mar52
Argentina
Local time: 06:14
English translation:ayuda ...
Explanation:
The plus ... plus construction is OK. The following sounds more natural to me:

All the work you had opening your workshop, plus the opening of the shop, plus the actual setting up of your business, clearly left you with no time to analyse the results.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 14 hrs (2006-08-07 13:12:49 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

There seems to be little support here for keeping the the "plus ... plus" construction.

I think it actually helps to convey the idea of work piling up to the point that there was no time to do one last vital job. Read the sentence aloud and you'll see what I mean.

And I imagine that's why the author used "más ... más" in Spanish, too. It conveys pressure.
Selected response from:

Robin Levey
Chile
Local time: 06:14
Grading comment
No doubt your versions sound more natural. Thanks a lot for the helpful ideas. But I agree with mediamatrix that author used the plus... for emphasis and wanted to put some pressure on the reader. Thank you!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

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Summary of answers provided
4 +2ayuda ...
Robin Levey
4 +1Clearly, after everything...
jmf
4 +1Evidently, all the work needed to open your workshop...
Patricia Rosas
4plus... and
David Russi


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


7 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5
plus... and


Explanation:
I would use this instead

David Russi
United States
Local time: 03:14
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in SpanishSpanish
PRO pts in category: 172
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29 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
Evidently, all the work needed to open your workshop...


Explanation:
I'd express it a little differently:
Evidently, all the work needed to open your workshop, plus opening up your place of business and setting up your business, left you no time to analyze the results.

Patricia Rosas
United States
Local time: 02:14
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 91

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Margarita Gonzalez
4 hrs
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2 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +1
Clearly, after everything...


Explanation:
Clearly, after everything you put into opening your workshop, then your store, and launching the business itself, there was no time left [for you] to analyze the results

jmf
United States
Local time: 05:14
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 12

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Ronnie McKee: This version sounds more natural in English, without all of the extra 'THEs' and with better English sentence structure.
6 hrs
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6 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
ayuda ...


Explanation:
The plus ... plus construction is OK. The following sounds more natural to me:

All the work you had opening your workshop, plus the opening of the shop, plus the actual setting up of your business, clearly left you with no time to analyse the results.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 14 hrs (2006-08-07 13:12:49 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

There seems to be little support here for keeping the the "plus ... plus" construction.

I think it actually helps to convey the idea of work piling up to the point that there was no time to do one last vital job. Read the sentence aloud and you'll see what I mean.

And I imagine that's why the author used "más ... más" in Spanish, too. It conveys pressure.

Robin Levey
Chile
Local time: 06:14
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 101
Grading comment
No doubt your versions sound more natural. Thanks a lot for the helpful ideas. But I agree with mediamatrix that author used the plus... for emphasis and wanted to put some pressure on the reader. Thank you!

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Joss Heywood: I too prefer "clearly" instead of "evidently", which can sometimes sound sarcastic. Perhaps "premises" instead of "shop", unless you know it is a shop.
1 hr
  -> Yes, 'premises' is a good idea, unless we know it's a shop.

agree  Egmont
8 hrs
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