Off topic: Leadership and self deception
Thread poster: Vjollca Martinson

Vjollca Martinson  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:58
English to Albanian
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Aug 18, 2003

Here is a wonderful book that can be useful to anyone:

Leadership and self deception by C. Terry Warner, Ph.D.

What matters, is not exactly what we do, but how we are "being". Self-deception explains how we can be blind to the truth of our experience. There are two ways of living: in-the-box and out-of-the-box. When we are in-the-box, we are focused on ourselves and see others as objects. When we are out-of-the-box we see others as persons. When we see others as objects, we are in self-betrayal, we act contrary to what we feel we should do for another, we justify our actions, we experience the world in a way that justifies our own self-betrayal, and our own reality becomes distorted. We become self-deceived. We see ourselves as a victim, as someone done wrong to. We can get out of the box by hearing the call of humanity, by treating and honoring others as people, by seeing them as persons with needs, hopes, and worries (Published by The Arbinger Institute, 2000).



[Edited at 2003-08-18 21:08]


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Borana Moisiu
Albania
Local time: 08:58
English to Albanian
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Falemnderit Aug 19, 2003

Falemnderit Vjollca. Ku mund te gjendet ky liber? Lexova dhe shenimet tek forumi tjeter per kete liber dhe me duket shume interesant dhe me vlere. Vetem se nuk di si ta gjej prej ketu. A e keni numrin ISBN? Falemnderit shume perseri.
Borana


Vjollca Märtinson wrote:

Here is a wonderful book that can be useful to anyone:

Leadership and self deception by C. Terry Warner, Ph.D.

What matters, is not exactly what we do, but how we are "being". Self-deception explains how we can be blind to the truth of our experience. There are two ways of living: in-the-box and out-of-the-box. When we are in-the-box, we are focused on ourselves and see others as objects. When we are out-of-the-box we see others as persons. When we see others as objects, we are in self-betrayal, we act contrary to what we feel we should do for another, we justify our actions, we experience the world in a way that justifies our own self-betrayal, and our own reality becomes distorted. We become self-deceived. We see ourselves as a victim, as someone done wrong to. We can get out of the box by hearing the call of humanity, by treating and honoring others as people, by seeing them as persons with needs, hopes, and worries (Published by The Arbinger Institute, 2000).



[Edited at 2003-08-18 21:08]


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Vjollca Martinson  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:58
English to Albanian
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TOPIC STARTER
ISBN Aug 19, 2003

E dashur Borana,

Këtë libër mund ta gjeni tek: www.amazon.com
Nuk është shumë i kushtueshëm ($10-20 varet nga versioni që preferoni).

Paperback: ISBN 1576751740
Hardcover: ISBN 1576750949

Gjithë të mirat, Vjollca


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Monika Coulson  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:58
Member (2001)
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What is self-deception? Aug 19, 2003

Në fakt Vjollca a hapi këtë rubrikë edhe në një forum anglisht dhe unë shtova disa komentet e mia në forumin tjetër. Mendoj që është me vend t'i kopjoj ato komente edhe në këtë rubrikë, pavarësisht se ato janë në anglisht. Atëherë, këto janë komentet e mia që vendosa në forumin tjetër:

What is self-deception?


I am reading this book (thanks to Vjollca who recomended it to me awhile ago) and in my opinion, it is a wonderful book to read. The author uses lots of real life experiences as well and that makes it even more interesting. I have copied below an explanation of the self-deception problem from the preface of LEADERSHIP AND SELF-DECEPTION.

"...What is Self-deception?
Simply put, self-deception is the problem of not knowing I have a problem.

To give you an idea of what's at stake, consider the following analogy. An infant is learning to crawl. She begins by pushing herself backward around the house. Backing herself around, she gets lodged beneath the furniture. There she thrashes about-crying and banging her little head against the sides and undersides of the pieces. She is stuck and hates it. So she does the only thing she can think of to get herself out-she pushes even harder, which only worsens her problem. She's more stuck than ever.

If this infant could talk, she would blame the furniture for her troubles. She, after all, is doing everything she can think of. The problem couldn't be hers. But of course, the problem is hers, even though she can't see it. While it's true she's doing everything she can think of, the problem is precisely that she can't see how she's the problem. Having the problem she has, nothing she can think of will be a solution.

Self-deception is like this. It blinds us to the true cause of problems, and once blind, all the "solutions" we can think of will actually make matters worse..."


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Monika Coulson  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:58
Member (2001)
English to Albanian
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My personal thoughts and feelings about the book "Leadership and self-deception" Aug 19, 2003

The ideas and the conceptes found in this book are powerful. However, the title may fool a few people (as it did me first.) Why? Some may think: it is not for me, since I do not deal with leadership... Or, "oh, self-deception, it does not happen to me." But self-deception is so pervasive that it touches every aspect of life. Self-deception actually determines one's experience in every aspect of life. That is why I find the ideas shared in this book extremely useful, especially at home and family more than in any other place. This book is literally helping me to sharpen my vision, to reduce feelings of conflict, to increase accountability, to magnify the capacity to achieve results, and most important, to find happiness.
My 2 cents,
Monika

[Edited at 2003-08-22 03:55]


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Borana Moisiu
Albania
Local time: 08:58
English to Albanian
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Falemnderit Aug 20, 2003

Falemnderit Vjollca per numrin dhe faleminderit qe te dyja, Vjollca dhe Monika per komentet tuaja. I thashe kusheririt me banim ne SHBA dhe ai do te me sjelle kur te vije ketu. Mezi po pres qe ta lexoj edhe une.
Gjithe te mirat,
Borana


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