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Off topic: How to Tell Whether You are a Zombie Translator
Thread poster: LegalTransform

LegalTransform  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:37
Member (2002)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Nov 16, 2012

How to Tell Whether You are a Zombie Translator: Ten Tell-Tale Signs of Zombies Translating Among Us:

http://patenttranslator.wordpress.com/2012/11/16/how-to-tell-that-you-are-a-zombie-translator-10-telling-signs-of-zombies-translating-among-us/

"They live and translate among us. We pity them, we ridicule them, we fear them. But have you ever considered that you yourself may be one of them, that you too may be slowly becoming a zombie translator? Zombieism is a disease that is taking over body and soul slowly and in stages, and the one thing that all zombies have in common is that they don’t even know that they are zombies. That is why I took upon myself the sad but necessary task of compiling 10 signs of zombieism among translators, namely to help zombie translators in early stages of zombieism to recognize that they may be already afflicted with one or more symptoms of this dreadful plague."

Edited to add:
(In what way is this post off-topic????????? On the contrary, it is dead on topic - pun intended)



[Edited at 2012-11-16 22:30 GMT]


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Phil Hand  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 14:37
Chinese to English
Uh oh Nov 16, 2012

3/10. I may be one third dead

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Blandine Jaumouillé-Drooghmans
Belgium
Local time: 07:37
English to French
+ ...
Zombie and proud! Nov 16, 2012

Hahahahahah, well, at least we live our zombie lives in the world and serve industrial and democratic development!

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Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 07:37
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
No sign of zombism Nov 16, 2012

Phew!!! I almost fit in one of the items. That was close.

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liz askew  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:37
Member (2007)
French to English
+ ...
This has made my day Jeff Nov 16, 2012

Thank you for posting this. Such a well-written and humorous article from somebody who knows what they are talking about. How refreshing!

Just makes me realise though that anything is possible:)

Cheers!


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The Misha
Local time: 01:37
Russian to English
+ ...
Ain't got the dang virus yet Nov 16, 2012

Whew!

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LilianNekipelov  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:37
Russian to English
+ ...
Absolutely accurate, in my opinion. Nov 16, 2012

All basic problems with modern approaches to translation caught on the spot.

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xxxchristela
Just got an invoice Nov 16, 2012

From a colleague who explained to me how it came that his invoice was much lower than I expected, and that moreover he deducted a commission although I didn't ask for it. He calculated how I could get it cheaper!!!
Do zombies suffer from the Stockholm syndrome?


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Henry Hinds  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 23:37
English to Spanish
+ ...
Thank Goodness Nov 16, 2012

I do not even come close to fitting any of those categories.

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neilmac  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 07:37
Spanish to English
+ ...
Fair cop Nov 16, 2012

Oof! Got me on counts 3 and 10. Chop my head off and burn my remains

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Carole Paquis  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:37
Member (2007)
English to French
Passed! Nov 16, 2012

Test passed! 0/10!
Sometimes tempted by number 10, but I shall watch it now.

Carole PAQUIS


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Shai Navé  Identity Verified
Israel
Local time: 08:37
Member
English to Hebrew
+ ...
I diagree with point number 4 Nov 16, 2012

This is overall a nice, funny, and sadly, true representation of things.
However, I disagree with the following sentence quoted from point number 4

If you use Trados although nobody is forcing you to do so and you actually like it.

CAT tools are tools of the trade. Not everyone chooses to use them, but the mere fact that someone does (even when not "forced" to) doesn't make them a Zombie.
There should be a distinction between the use of a certain tool and the practices associated with it. In this case, the CAT tool discounts are indeed a bad practice that crept in while abusing the technology and the naiveness of many translators, and this is the core issue, not the CAT tools themselves.

A professional can use CAT tools for their benefit and the benefit of their client (better efficiency, quality and consistency and NOT arbitrary lower rates just because a couple of words in the same text use the same letters), and even like it, without being a Zombie translator.


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LegalTransform  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 01:37
Member (2002)
Spanish to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Zombie translators Nov 16, 2012

I sent this article to several agencies I work with and they all wrote back to tell me that they receive hundreds of resumes from these automated translation resume farms each day many with the exact same subject line ("Perfect Translations") and they promptly delete them. It has become a joke around their offices.
From another blog post by the same author:
"It started about 2 or 3 months ago when all of a sudden dozens of unsolicited résumés with the heading “Perfect Translation Skills Available” or a variation thereof began appearing in my e-mail. A real translator would know that his or her skills are not perfect and that there is no such thing as a perfect translation. Michelangelo knew that his paintings were not perfect. But Zombie Translators have no problem calling themselves “perfect”. That is because, tragically, Zombie Translators live in their own Zombie world in which they are indeed “perfect” in their distorted version of reality.”



[Edited at 2012-11-16 17:50 GMT]


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LEXpert  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 00:37
Member (2008)
Croatian to English
+ ...
Sign No. 3. Nov 16, 2012

Though I mostly do medical nowadays, I'm pretty sure I've touched on something related to each of the fields in No. 3 at least once in my career (yes, including nuclear safety and handling of oil blowouts).

I'm fortunate to have one large combination (DE-EN) in addition to a more limited-diffusion combination, so I can be more selective, but for people with only, say, a single limited-diffusion language into English, extensive specialization is probably impractical.



[Edited at 2012-11-16 23:01 GMT]


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Wolfgang Vogt  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 07:37
English to German
+ ...
Zombie Translators vs. Zombie Agencies Nov 16, 2012

I feel tempted to pass this on to some Zombie Agencies...
Can you translate 100,000 words until tomorrow? It's a manual for the new Klingon spaceship, could you do that? Oh, it's written in Klingon, no prob for you, right? By the way, we now work with the XYZ CAT-tool and the files must be converted to the .klingon format. As regarding the payment, well, we will pay you - no worries - but could you wait until next month +/- 30 days? As soon as our Klingon client pays with Klingon money we only need around 30 more Klingon days to transfer the amount (in Klingon currency or we have to apply a 15% service charge).
Best regards,
Zombie-Translations.com


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