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对《专利文献的英汉翻译》一书中一些例句的商榷
Thread poster: nigerose
nigerose  Identity Verified
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Nov 21, 2008

因为自己从事专利翻译,买了《专利文献的英汉翻译》这本书。

国家知识产权局局长田力普为该书写了序言,称“到目前位置,在国内众多的专利领域的书籍中还没有全面介绍专利文献翻译的,这本《专利文献的英汉翻译》正好弥补了整个缺失。”

回家随便翻了翻,却发现书中不少例句的作者译文不怎么准确,有的还有错误。以下举一些例子。

举例1 (书中P62)
例句:The compressibility of the piston member also has advantages in the manufacture and assembly process of the writing instrument by eliminating the need to manufacture precision parts with tight tolerances. Any minor variations in the size of the poston member or the ink reservoir is compensated by the ability of the piston member to deform.

作者译文:由于无需制造小公差的精密部件,压缩性的活塞元件还给书写器具的制造和组装带来方便。活塞元件变形可以补偿活塞元件或者储墨腔中任何微小的尺寸变化。

本人评论:
首先,很不符合专利界所谓的“直译”原则。比如“The compressibility of the piston member”转译成“压缩性的活塞元件”,“has advantages in”译成“带来方便”。

其次,漏译。比如ability一词漏译了。

再次,错译。比如“Any minor variations in the size of the poston member or the ink reservoir”译成“活塞元件或者储墨腔中任何微小的尺寸变化”。 “…中任何微小的尺寸变化”意义不明确,应该翻译成“活塞元件或者储墨腔的尺寸的任何微小(的)变化”,“variation in”、“change in” 、“increase in”、“decrease in”这样的搭配中,in要翻译成“的”。


举例2 (书中P118)
例句:The keyboard of a laotop, in order to fit within the restricted size profile,
has a reduced key set.
别人的译文:膝上型计算机的键盘为了装配在受限尺寸外型内,具有较小的按键设置。
作者的改译:膝上型计算机的外型尺寸较小,它的键盘按键也比较小。

本人评论:
改译还不如原译,把原文中in order to 所表示的目的含义和fit within所表示的动作含义都丢失了。

举例3 (书中P149)
例句: The RFID tag is explained by using a conventional folded dipole antenna.
作者译文:下面用一个常规的折叠偶极天线来介绍一种RFID标签。

本人评论:
“The RFID tag ”用的是定冠词the,却被翻译成“一种RFID标签”。或许疏忽大意了吧。


举例4 (书中P113)

例句:The heat flows from a hotter to a cooler body is a process of energy
transfer. It tends to equalize temperature. (这里讨论代词it的翻译问题)
作者译文:热从高温物体流向低温物体是一个能量传递过程。这个过程使温度趋于平衡。

本人评论:
原文本身就有语法错误,flows应该flow。
本人认为it指代 “heat flow” 而不是“过程”。

另外,查词典可知tend to的意思有“趋向(趋于)”、“往往是”。tend to在这里应该译成“往往是”才合适。就算是“趋于”也是“it” “趋于”,而不是“温度” “趋于”。

其实,热从高温物体流向低温物体,在自然界中一般是会使温度变得相等,但在人工控制的工艺中,如果高温物体不断得到热量,低温物体不断失去热量,则热从高温物体流向低温物体也不会使温度变得相等,温差一直存在。所以tend to翻译成 “往往是”,表示一般情况,这样才正确。


举例5 (书中P119)

例句: The reactions at the anode and cathode are facilitated by a catalyst,
typically platinum。
别人的译文:阳极和阴极的反应利用催化剂,典型地用铂来加速。
作者的改译:阳极和阴极的反应利用催化剂来加速,常用的催化剂是铂。

本人评论:
typically副词肯定是修饰动词,原文typically platinum是省略用法,完整说法是
typically facilitated by platinum。
按照“直译”的原则,最好翻译成“通常是用铂来促进”。虽然翻译成“常用的催化剂是铂”没有大错。


举例6 (书中P146)

例句:Any misalignment due to under toleranced connectors halves 12a-b may
further increase the asymmetric forces and therefore the friction expericenced
by the valve packing 58

别人的翻译:任何由于低于公差范围的连接器半部12a-b产生的未对准,都可能会进一步增加不对称力,并因而增加阀填料58所承受的摩擦力。
作者的改译:即使在公差范围内,连接器半部12a-b产生的一点点偏移,也可能会进一步增加阀填料58上所承受的非对称力,以及由此而产生的摩擦力。

本人评论。
改译还不如原译。 under toleranced 应该是“公差有欠缺”的意思(本人不是学机械,把握不太准)。类似用法有:undersized paper 欠胶纸, under-oxidized 氧化不足的,欠氧化的。 underinflated tyre缺气胎
翻译成“即使在公差范围内” 应该算是严重错误。

举例7:(书中P62)
As appreciated by those familiar with these types of connectors, valve and
actuator manufacturers generally resolve this limitation by designing and
maintainiing a broad product line with numerous combinations of valves and
actuators to meet a particular application.

别人的翻译:如熟悉这些类型连接器的人员所能理解的那样,阀和执行机构制造商通常通过设计和维持具有大量用于满足特殊应用的阀和执行机构的组合的产品种类,来解决此种局限。

作者的分析:译文表述不是很清楚。译者对原文的理解中漏掉了一个关键字
“line”,既然说到制造商(manufactuers),那么这个“line”指的就是生产线。

作者的改译:熟悉这些类型连接器的人员能够理解,为克服这个缺陷,厂商在制造阀和执行机构时,要设计并保有一条庞杂的生产线,提供阀和执行机构的多种组合形式,以满足不同的需求。

本人的评论:
别人的翻译虽然不完善,但基本上理解了原文的意思,作者的改译反映出作者对原文的理解错误。改译把原译改错了。

首先:作者把“line”理解为“生产线”,注意原文是product line而不是production
line”。查新英汉词典可知这里的"line"的意思是:(一类)货色:the best-selling line
in scarf 最畅销的一种围巾/There is a full line of electrical supplies 各种电器一应俱全。

其次,作者译文中的“要”字改变原文含义。这里的“要”字表示“必须”、“应该”的意思,也就是表示”为克服这个缺陷“则”必须设计和保有...", 限制性意味很强。而原文并没有这层意思。
其实,象resolve this limitation by designing and maintaining 这样的结构,resolve表示目的,by短语表示手段,一般翻译成“通过...来”就可以了。

再次,一些细节问题。
generally没有翻译出来,
valve and actuator manufacturers 居然转译成“厂商在制造阀和执行机构时”,增添了原文所没有的时间含义,
particular翻译成了“不同的”,其实应该翻译成“特定的”。


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eng2chi  Identity Verified
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不错 Nov 21, 2008

不错。。。受教了

不妨多点评


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ysun  Identity Verified
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几点看法 Nov 23, 2008

nigerose,

你的分析很透彻,态度很认真。我基本上同意你的分析。以下就例4、例5和例6谈几点我的看法。
nigerose wrote:
举例4 (书中P113)

例句:The heat flows from a hotter to a cooler body is a process of energy
transfer. It tends to equalize temperature. (这里讨论代词it的翻译问题)
作者译文:热从高温物体流向低温物体是一个能量传递过程。这个过程使温度趋于平衡。

本人评论:
原文本身就有语法错误,flows应该flow。
本人认为it指代 “heat flow” 而不是“过程”。

另外,查词典可知tend to的意思有“趋向(趋于)”、“往往是”。tend to在这里应该译成“往往是”才合适。就算是“趋于”也是“it” “趋于”,而不是“温度” “趋于”。

其实,热从高温物体流向低温物体,在自然界中一般是会使温度变得相等,但在人工控制的工艺中,如果高温物体不断得到热量,低温物体不断失去热量,则热从高温物体流向低温物体也不会使温度变得相等,温差一直存在 。所以tend to翻译成 “往往是”,表示一般情况,这样才正确。

如果把“The heat flows from a hotter to a cooler body” 理解为一个主语从句,那么原文是可以接受的。不过,如果要修改原文的话,我会改为: "The heat flows from a hotter body to a cooler one is a process of energy transfer." 原译文中“高温物体”和“低温物体”的译法是不妥的,因为 a hotter body 未必是高温物体,a cooler body 也未必是低温物体。两者温度的高低只是相对而言。

第二句中的 It 既可理解为是指该主语从句,也可理解为是指该process,故把 It 译成“这个过程”是可以接受的。

试译:热量从较热物体流向较冷物体是一种能量传递过程。此过程有使温度趋于一致的倾向。
nigerose wrote:
举例5 (书中P119)

例句: The reactions at the anode and cathode are facilitated by a catalyst,
typically platinum。
别人的译文:阳极和阴极的反应利用催化剂,典型地用铂来加速。
作者的改译:阳极和阴极的反应利用催化剂来加速,常用的催化剂是铂。

本人评论:
typically副词肯定是修饰动词,原文typically platinum是省略用法,完整说法是
typically facilitated by platinum。
按照“直译”的原则,最好翻译成“通常是用铂来促进”。虽然翻译成“常用的催化剂是铂”没有大错。

原译文中“阳极和阴极的反应”有可能被误解为“阳极和阴极之间发生的反应”。实际上,这是指“在阳极和阴极分别发生的反应”。“typically platinum” 可以看成是插入语,修饰 catalyst。

试译:在阳极和阴极所发生的反应是由催化剂(典型地是铂)促进的。

nigerose wrote:
举例6 (书中P146)

例句:Any misalignment due to under toleranced connectors halves 12a-b may
further increase the asymmetric forces and therefore the friction expericenced
by the valve packing 58

别人的翻译:任何由于低于公差范围的连接器半部12a-b产生的未对准,都可能会进一步增加不对称力,并因而增加阀填料58所承受的摩擦力。
作者的改译:即使在公差范围内,连接器半部12a-b产生的一点点偏移,也可能会进一步增加阀填料58上所承受的非对称力,以及由此而产生的摩擦力。

本人评论。
改译还不如原译。 under toleranced 应该是“公差有欠缺”的意思(本人不是学机械,把握不太准)。类似用法有:undersized paper 欠胶纸, under-oxidized 氧化不足的,欠氧化的。 underinflated tyre缺气胎
翻译成“即使在公差范围内” 应该算是严重错误。

原文中 under toleranced connectors halves 应为 under-toleranced connector halves。 "Under-toleranced” 的意思是“超出公差范围的”或“超出容限范围的”。因此,同意你的意见,该作者的理解是完全错误的。

试译:因超出容限范围的连接器两半部12a-b所造成的任何偏差,都可能进一步增加不对称力,从而增加阀填料58所承受的摩擦力。

或:因连接器两半部12a-b超出容限范围所造成的任何偏差,都可能进一步增加不对称力,从而增加阀填料58所承受的摩擦力。

我以上的看法不一定对。欢迎大家批评指正。

[Edited at 2008-11-23 00:54 GMT]


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wherestip  Identity Verified
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完全同意 Nov 23, 2008

Yes, I agree with Yueyin's comments.

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nigerose  Identity Verified
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TOPIC STARTER
ysun您好,多谢评论。 Nov 23, 2008

多谢评论。再讨论如下:
——————————————————————
如果把“The heat flows from a hotter to a cooler body” 理解为一个主语从句,那么原文是可以接受的。不过,如果要修改原文的话,我会改为: "The heat flows from a hotter body to a cooler one is a process of energy transfer." 原译文中“高温物体”和“低温物体”的译法是不妥的,因为 a hotter body 未必是高温物体,a cooler body 也未必是低温物体。两者温度的高低只是相对而言。
——————————————————————

按语法书的说法,主语从句需要引导词引导,最常见的引导词是that。所以我认为“the heat”中的the 应该是that,就成为主语从句。
完全同意您对“高温物体”和“低温物体”的意见。



——————————————————————
原译文中“阳极和阴极的反应”有可能被误解为“阳极和阴极之间发生的反应”。实际上,这是指“在阳极和阴极分别发生的反应” 。“typically platinum” 可以看成是插入语,修饰 catalyst。
——————————————————————

从语法来分析,我认为typically还是修饰facilitated。这是具有递进含义的并列句的省略。
原句可以看作:
The reactions at the anode and cathode are facilitated by a catalyst,
typically the reactions at the anode and cathode are facilitated by platinum。

省略了共同的主语和谓语部分。

专利文件中经常有类似于以下的句子:
The present invention relates to a photoresist composition sensitive to radiation in the deep ultraviolet, particularly a positive working photoresist sensitive in the range of 100-200 nanometers(nm).
“particularly a” 省略了主语The present invention和谓语relates to。
“typically platinum”与此类似。

又如以下句子中的particularly:
The present invention relates to the construction of tunnels, and more particularly, to a method of constructing or widening a half-tunnel in a ground ...

完全同意您的“在阳极和阴极所发生的反应”的这个翻译



——————————————————————
原文中 under toleranced connectors halves 应为 under-toleranced connector halves。 "Under-toleranced” 的意思是“超出公差范围的”或“超出容限范围的”。因此,同意你的意见,该作者的理解是完全错误的。
——————————————————————

”under toleranced“的确是“under-toleranced ”,英文中连字符可有可无。
但under的应该是“不足”的意思,而不是“超出”的意思。当然具体如何翻译,也不确定,可能要请教机械领域的专家。


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wherestip  Identity Verified
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tolerance Nov 23, 2008

nigerose wrote:

”under toleranced“的确是“under-toleranced ”,英文中连字符可有可无。
但under的应该是“不足”的意思,而不是“超出”的意思。当然具体如何翻译,也不确定,可能要请教机械领域的专家。




There is no hyphen between "under tolerance". But typically "under-toleranced" is hyphenated.

In this context, it means the parts are "不符合规格". Whether the parts are oversized or undersized in dimension, the sentence is not specific enough to tell. Anyway, what is referred to as "under-toleranced" is not the same as being within tolerance; instead it is exactly the opposite.



[Edited at 2008-11-23 15:16 GMT]


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wherestip  Identity Verified
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Some links about tolerance Nov 23, 2008

IMO, there has to be some common sense involved in translation, whether the text is technical or not.

Also sample sentences selected for a book on translation really have to pass muster in the source language themselves in the 1st place. IMO, some of the examples used for discussion are a little dubious in this respect to start out with.


http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Tolerance-(engineering)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tolerance_(engineering)

http://www.knowledgerush.com/kr/encyclopedia/Tolerance/



[Edited at 2008-11-23 14:20 GMT]


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ysun  Identity Verified
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同意 Nov 23, 2008

nigerose wrote:

按语法书的说法,主语从句需要引导词引导,最常见的引导词是that。所以我认为“the heat”中的the 应该是that,就成为主语从句。


即:
That heat flows from a hotter body to a cooler one is a process of energy transfer.

相当于:
It is a process of energy transfer that heat flows from a hotter body to a cooler one.

无论如何,原文确实是一个病句。作者在出版前应该认真校阅或请专家校阅。


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ysun  Identity Verified
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Re: under-toleranced Nov 23, 2008

nigerose wrote:

”under toleranced“的确是“under-toleranced ”,英文中连字符可有可无。
但under的应该是“不足”的意思,而不是“超出”的意思。当然具体如何翻译,也不确定,可能要请教机械领域的专家。

同意Steve的意见并感谢他提供关于tolerance的链接。这个讨论很有意义。查了一下,这个例句是出自WO 2005/073567:
http://www.wipo.int/pctdb/en/wads.jsp?IA=US2004042082&LANGUAGE=EN&ID=id00000002035157&VOL=47&DOC=001ead&WO=05/073567&WEEK=32/2005&TYPE=A1&DOC_TYPE=PAMPH&PAGE=HTML
Since the valve stem 40 and the actuator rod 30 are coupled by threading both into a single rigid connector 10, narrow manufacturing tolerances on the valve stem connector 10 must be maintained. Any misalignment due to under-toleranced connectors halves 12a-b may further increase the asymmetric forces and therefore the friction experienced by the valve packing 58. The narrow manufacturing tolerances result in higher manufacturing costs and increased assembly difficulty. More significantly, when using a conventional valve stem connector 10, the connection between the actuator rod 30 and the valve stem 40 is rigid. The rigidity of the connection requires the actuator rod 30 and the valve stem 40 to be perfectly aligned along a common longitudinal axis 90 to eliminate valve packing 58 wear. As understood by those skilled in the art, industry standard manufacturing tolerances and typical assembly methods for the actuator 48 and the valve body 50 cannot provide precise alignment of the actuator rod 30 and the valve stem 40.


如果要逐字翻译 “under-toleranced”,恐怕不太好翻。如果一定要把 under 翻出来,也许可以译成“精度低于公差要求的”。换言之,就是“超出公差范围的”或“超出容限范围的”。由于 connectors halves 12a-b 的精度不够,使它们与 valve stem 40 和 actuator rod 30 不能很好地配合,进而导致 valve stem 40 和 actuator rod 30 的 misalignment(不同轴),从而造成阀门填料承受不对称力和摩擦力。

这样的理解也符合前面提到的 “narrow manufacturing tolerances on the valve stem connector 10 must be maintained” 的说法。“Any misalignment” 应该是指 axial misalignment of the valve stem and the actuator rod,而不是原作者所说的“连接器半部12a-b产生的一点点偏移”。


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ysun  Identity Verified
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under-toleranced & over-toleranced Nov 23, 2008

http://www.intota.com/expert-consultant.asp?bioID=775790&perID=725348

An overtoleranced part is one where the production tolerance is more than is needed for the actual fit and finish of the overall product. In this case you are paying for accuracy you don't need. An undertoleranced part leads to manufacturing defects in the assembly and integration of parts into the overall product, this costs money as well. In general undertolerancing is a greater fear than overtolerancing, therefore it takes a good deal of expertise to properly tolertance a part. Geometric Tolerancing adresses this issue at the solid modeling stage of the CAD process.

[Edited at 2008-11-23 22:08 GMT]


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wherestip  Identity Verified
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underspecifying the tolerance Nov 23, 2008

ysun wrote:

Since the valve stem 40 and the actuator rod 30 are coupled by threading both into a single rigid connector 10, narrow manufacturing tolerances on the valve stem connector 10 must be maintained. Any misalignment due to under-toleranced connectors halves 12a-b may further increase the asymmetric forces and therefore the friction experienced by the valve packing 58. The narrow manufacturing tolerances result in higher manufacturing costs and increased assembly difficulty. More significantly, when using a conventional valve stem connector 10, the connection between the actuator rod 30 and the valve stem 40 is rigid. The rigidity of the connection requires the actuator rod 30 and the valve stem 40 to be perfectly aligned along a common longitudinal axis 90 to eliminate valve packing 58 wear. As understood by those skilled in the art, industry standard manufacturing tolerances and typical assembly methods for the actuator 48 and the valve body 50 cannot provide precise alignment of the actuator rod 30 and the valve stem 40.





http://www.intota.com/expert-consultant.asp?bioID=775790&perID=725348

An overtoleranced part is one where the production tolerance is more than is needed for the actual fit and finish of the overall product. In this case you are paying for accuracy you don't need. An undertoleranced part leads to manufacturing defects in the assembly and integration of parts into the overall product, this costs money as well. In general undertolerancing is a greater fear than overtolerancing, therefore it takes a good deal of expertise to properly tolertance a part. Geometric Tolerancing adresses this issue at the solid modeling stage of the CAD process.

[Edited at 2008-11-23 22:08 GMT]


Thanks, Yueyin. I agree with your further analysis and explanation.

With more context the original sentence makes a lot more sense. What the term refers to, IMO, is the situation of underspecifying the tolerance in regards to what in reality is necessary to make the connector coupling adequately fit together, causing misalignment.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/overspecify

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/underspecify




nigerose wrote:

本人评论。
... under toleranced 应该是“公差有欠缺”的意思



Agree with nigerose's original statement. The tolerance specification was not tight enough or narrow enough. 公差限定不够严紧. However, Yueyin's explanation of the essence of the problem was all correct.

These 2 translations are indeed both wrong, IMO:



别人的翻译:任何由于低于公差范围的连接器半部12a-b产生的未对准,都可能会进一步增加不对称力,并因而增加阀填料58所承受的摩擦力。
作者的改译:即使在公差范围内,连接器半部12a-b产生的一点点偏移,也可能会进一步增加阀填料58上所承受的非对称力,以及由此而产生的摩擦力。





[Edited at 2008-11-24 01:38 GMT]


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ysun  Identity Verified
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Agree Nov 24, 2008

wherestip wrote:

underspecifying the tolerance
......

Steve,

同意你的解释。是否可这样说:

under-toleranced - 对公差的规定过低

over-toleranced - 对公差的规定过高


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wherestip  Identity Verified
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中文 Nov 24, 2008

ysun wrote:

wherestip wrote:

underspecifying the tolerance
......

Steve,

同意你的解释。是否可这样说:

under-toleranced - 对公差的规定过低

over-toleranced - 对公差的规定过高



对的. 或者也可以说 对公差的规定 过分严紧(over)、 过分宽松(under).



[Edited at 2008-11-24 01:37 GMT]


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ysun  Identity Verified
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Better Nov 24, 2008

wherestip wrote:

对的. 或者也可以说对公差的规定过分严紧(over)、 过分宽松(under).


[Edited at 2008-11-24 01:52 GMT]


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ysun  Identity Verified
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重新组织一下例2的原译文 Nov 24, 2008

nigerose wrote:

举例2 (书中P118)
例句:The keyboard of a laotop, in order to fit within the restricted size profile,
has a reduced key set.
别人的译文:膝上型计算机的键盘为了装配在受限尺寸外型内,具有较小的按键设置。
作者的改译:膝上型计算机的外型尺寸较小,它的键盘按键也比较小。

本人评论:
改译还不如原译,把原文中in order to 所表示的目的含义和fit within所表示的动作含义都丢失了。


同意 nigerose 的评论。但如果一字不改的话,我建议重新组织一下原译文:

为了装配在受限尺寸外型内,膝上型计算机的键盘具有较小的按键设置。


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