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校对/审需要怎样的资格?此例的"校"并不添花
Thread poster: redred

redred  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 01:25
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Apr 27, 2009

(下述内容是通用型,不涉及机密)

2008年述职报告
2008年是不平常的一年,金融危机爆发,国内外经济形势严峻,信托环境和市场条件恶劣,公司换证受阻,信托业务几乎陷入萎缩或停顿。在此环境条件下,我们坚守稳健经营与创新开拓并举,积极努力工作,取得一定成绩。
2008年,我的工作概要有三点:一是分管的部门多,工作量大;二是多方位拓展业务,在困境中取得较好业绩,为公司持续发展打下一定基础;三是严格控制风险,至今未出现兑付风险和管理风险问题。

Report on the Work in 2008
The year 2008 was eventful, financial crisis broke out, economic situation withstood severe difficulties at home and abroad, trust environment and market condition were bad, license renew for company met obstacle, trust business almost went backward or suspended. Under such a circumstance, we held steady operation and renovation, made positive endeavor, fulfilled achievement to some extent. (这是redred的译文)

I outlined three points on my work in 2008: first, I was full of hand attribute to managing many departments; second, I developed business in all aspects, accomplished better achievement under difficulty, created certain foundation for the company’s sustainable development; third, I strictly controlled risk, so far there aren’t redemption risk and management risk.(这是redred的译文)


Work Report 2008
The year 2008 was eventful with financial crisis breaking out, economic situation withstanding severe difficulties at home and abroad, trust environment and market condition being harsh, license renewal for the company meeting obstacles, and trust business almost going backward or being suspended. Under such a circumstance, we held steady operation and renovation, made positive endeavor, and fulfilled certain achievements.(其他人的校)

Here I outline three points on my work in 2008: first, I was full of hand attribute to managing such many departments; second, I developed business in all aspects, accomplished better achievement under difficulty, and created foundation for the company’s sustainable development; third, I strictly controlled risk, and so far no payment-related risk and management risk have occurred.(其他人的校)

"校文"怎么出现了withstanding,being,meeting,going,being.怎么总对现在分词ing"情有独钟"。翻译公司人员发了几份“校后”的稿(甫看这种"校",就不想继续看了),对我语重心长的叮咛:如果您有时间 希望您能仔细对照终稿研究一下有哪些地方应该注意一下 有些语法问题还是应该改进的 如果您在这些方面能多注意的话 我们合作会更顺利些。

Report on the Work in 2008,我借用了温总理的政府工作报告标题;我更为需要商榷的是trust environment and market condition后是跟were还是was,常有A and B后面是跟is还是are这种情况,比较难区分。

[Edited at 2009-04-28 01:38 GMT]


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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
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标点符号 Apr 27, 2009

且不看翻译是否得当,单看标点符号,这句里的所有逗号都应该是句号。

redred wrote:

The year 2008 was eventful, financial crisis broke out, economic situation withstood severe difficulties at home and abroad, trust environment and market condition were bad, license renew for company met obstacle, trust business almost went backward or suspended.



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Shaun Yeo  Identity Verified
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Articles have gone missing... Apr 27, 2009

周丹说得没错。另外,除了句首的the,其他的冠词全不见踪影。
Zhoudan wrote:
且不看翻译是否得当,单看标点符号,这句里的所有逗号都应该是句号。
redred wrote:
The year 2008 was eventful, financial crisis broke out, economic situation withstood severe difficulties at home and abroad, trust environment and market condition were bad, license renew for company met obstacle, trust business almost went backward or suspended.


[Edited at 2009-04-27 11:08 GMT]


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Henry Zhang  Identity Verified
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这样的句子让人看起来很累。 Apr 27, 2009

不一定非要拘泥于原来中文的句式结构,可以灵活变通一下。
我翻译中翻英的时候最后都会找一个老外朋友给我做校对。英语毕竟不是自己的母语,难免会有一些不尽如人意的地方。

国内的很多稿件开始的时候先来几个排比,或讲困难,或谈成绩,大有风起云涌之势。我遇到这种句子会非常的难受。如果就那么一对一翻译,target audience不一定愿意看;如果改变一下结构,又怕有不忠实于原文之嫌。

还有我觉得redred提供的原文第二段,本身读起来就有点怪怪的。

[Edited at 2009-04-27 12:30 GMT]


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xxxwonita
China
Local time: 14:25
冠词 Apr 27, 2009

Shaun Yeo wrote:

周丹说得没错。另外,除了句首的the,其他的冠词全不见踪影。


英文的标题,或者口号式的前言好像不太用冠词。


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Shaun Yeo  Identity Verified
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除了标题 Apr 27, 2009

就这个例子而言,除了标题可以合理地没有冠词之外,其他地方,该用不用,都是严重的语法错误。
Bin Tiede wrote:
Shaun Yeo wrote:
周丹说得没错。另外,除了句首的the,其他的冠词全不见踪影。

英文的标题,或者口号式的前言好像不太用冠词。


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xxxwonita
China
Local time: 14:25
我的浅见 Apr 27, 2009

Report on the Work in 2008
The year 2008 was eventful, financial crisis broke out, economic situation withstood severe difficulties at home and abroad, trust environment and market condition were bad, license renew for company met obstacle, trust business almost went backward or suspended. Under such a circumstance, we held steady operation and renovation, made positive endeavor, fulfilled achievement to some extent. (这是redred的译文)

The year 2008 was eventful: financial crisis broke out; economic situation withstood severe difficulties at home and abroad; trust environment and market condition were bad; license renew for company met obstacle; trust business almost went backward or suspended.

将标点符号改了一下,以小标题的形式出现,感觉不用定冠词也可以。



[Edited at 2009-04-27 15:29 GMT]


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Shaun Yeo  Identity Verified
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两点浅见 Apr 28, 2009

一、小标题者,顾名思义,以其小而名。一“大”段的“小”标题似乎少见。如果是summary或extract,也要求合乎语法的完整句子。
二、大标题(The year 2008 was eventful)用上冠词,小标题反而不用,似有本末倒置之嫌。
Bin Tiede wrote:
The year 2008 was eventful: financial crisis broke out; economic situation withstood severe difficulties at home and abroad; trust environment and market condition were bad; license renew for company met obstacle; trust business almost went backward or suspended.

将标点符号改了一下,以小标题的形式出现,感觉不用定冠词也可以。


[Edited at 2009-04-27 15:29 GMT]


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redred  Identity Verified
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TOPIC STARTER
交流 Apr 28, 2009

以上诸位,

对于这样的中文结构和词藻,多看看官方的译文还是可以提高水平的,如政府工作报告之类.

2008年是极不平凡的一年。我国经济社会发展经受住了历史罕见的重大挑战和考验。在中国共产党领导下,全国各族人民迎难而上,奋力拼搏,战胜各种艰难险阻,改革开放和社会主义现代化建设取得新的重大成就。
The year 2008 was truly eventful. Our country's economic and social development withstood severe challenges and tests that were rarely seen before. Under the leadership of the Communist Party of China (CPC), the people of all our ethnic groups faced difficulties squarely, worked with courage and determination, surmounted all difficulties and obstacles, and made new achievements in reform, opening up and socialist modernization.(这是政府工作报告的官方版本)

如果是要改为句号,加分号“;”还接近一些,原文中文是没句号。

the的用法,难倒许多人。
1. to refer to something which has already been mentioned.
Example: An elephant and a mouse fell in love.
The mouse loved the elephant's long trunk,
and the elephant loved the mouse's tiny nose.

2. when both the speaker and listener know what is being talked about, even if it has not been mentioned before.
Example: 'Where's the bathroom?'
'It's on the first floor.'

3. in sentences or clauses where we define or identify a particular person or object:
Examples: The man who wrote this book is famous.
'Which car did you scratch?' 'The red one.
My house is the one with a blue door.'

4. to refer to objects we regard as unique:
Examples: the sun, the moon, the world

5. before superlatives and ordinal numbers: (see Adjectives)
Examples: the highest building, the first page, the last chapter.

6. with adjectives, to refer to a whole group of people:
Examples: the Japanese (see Nouns - Nationalities), the old

7. with names of geographical areas and oceans:
Examples: the Caribbean, the Sahara, the Atlantic

8. with decades, or groups of years:
Example: she grew up in the seventies

A and B后加are还is的情况,也难倒人许多人。
science and technology,正确的是science and technology is...
A good wife and health is a man's best wealth. -----Western Proverb

当and连结的两个名词是指同一个人或同一件事,and后的名词前没有冠词,谓语动词应该用单数形式;在and后面的名词前有冠词,谓语就用复数形式。例如:
The bread and butter is served for breakfast. 早饭供应黄油面包。
The bread and the butter are on sale. 正在出售黄油和面包。


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Donglai Lou  Identity Verified
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关于这几点语法 Apr 28, 2009

语言这东西有时是越学越迷糊,有许多约定俗成的“错误”用法挑战着语法的机械性。比如说,昨天收到了申请的电影会员卡。所附的信函中有一句“earn 10 points for every movie you see”。在大陆用90年前后英文课本的同学都知道,movie 只能 watch 不能 see,否则考试时绝对算你错。

这样的例子有很多。取决于你从哪个角度来看,既可以说是 native speakers 活学活用,也可以说他们也时而犯些语法(言)错误,就像我们用汉语时犯错一样。反正语言是发展的,说的人多了错误也能成正确的。

回到大家讨论的几个语法点。从我受的教育来看:
1. 标点问题:
红红所举的政府报告的句法结构和其译文所用的句法结构不是一回事。
Under the leadership of the Communist Party of China (CPC), the people of all our ethnic groups faced difficulties squarely, worked with courage and determination, surmounted all difficulties and obstacles, and made new achievements in reform, opening up and socialist modernization.
这句话中,主语只有一个(the people of all our ethnic groups),后面跟的都是分句(仅谓语和宾语),因此不能加句号,只能加逗号,且最后一个分句前应加 and。

(1) The year 2008 was eventful, (2) financial crisis broke out, (3) economic situation withstood severe difficulties at home and abroad, (4) trust environment and market condition were bad, (5) license renew for company met obstacle, (6) trust business almost went backward or suspended.
此段译文中有 6 句整句。语法上,整句并列时应用句号,或者是用and的连接。分号或许是可以的。

2.冠词问题:
当所指的名词/事件具有特定的含义时,是应该加冠词“the”的。如要省略“the”,有时可以首字母大写来表示作者和读者都知道的事物。译文中的事件,如 Financial Crisis,都有特指的,因此个人认为还是加上冠词较好。

3.A and B 通常是复数,后面跟动词的复数形式;除非 A and B 被视为一体时,或可用单数,这种结构的特点是前面由一个冠词引导,如 the A and B 或 a(n) A and B。但是像“A good wife and health is a Man’s wealth”,有三种可能,一是约定俗成的错误;二是句式为倒装结构(即原句是 a man’s wealth is a good wife and health。但为强调 a man’s wealth,而将主语后置。注:语法书称中文前置为强调,而英文后置为强调);三是在此句中wife and health 是一个概念,合起来正好是 wealth - “w(ife)-(h)ealth”。(语言也是活的,怎么套都成。呵呵。)


[Edited at 2009-04-28 03:15 GMT]


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nigerose  Identity Verified
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个人认为 Apr 28, 2009

个人认为,Bin Tiede的冒号较好,“校文”的分词短语次之。
另外,官方版本不等于完美版本和native版本。
attribute不是形容词吧。


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nigerose  Identity Verified
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试译 Apr 28, 2009

楼主没有读透原文的逻辑关系。
我试译如下,我的译文体现了我对原文逻辑的理解。欢迎指正。

2008年是不平常的一年,金融危机爆发,国内外经济形势严峻,信托环境和市场条件恶劣,公司换证受阻,信托业务几乎陷入萎缩或停顿。在此环境条件下,我们坚守稳健经营与创新开拓并举,积极努力工作,取得一定 成绩。


The year 2008 was really unusual for our company. The renewal of company license was frustrated and the trust business shrank or met with a standstill due to the unfavorable trust environments and terrible market conditions brought about by the breaking out of global financial crisis and the resultant severe economic situations at home and abroad. Under such circumstances......

[修改时间: 2009-04-28 03:55 GMT]


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jyuan_us  Identity Verified
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審校的目的並不是添花 Apr 28, 2009

以目前市場上普遍的翻譯質量而言﹐審校員能把初稿改得沒有錯誤﹐就算很不錯了。

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xxxwonita
China
Local time: 14:25
这个不能一概而论 Apr 28, 2009

jyuan_us wrote:

以目前市場上普遍的翻譯質量而言﹐審校員能把初稿改得沒有錯誤﹐就算很不錯了。


另外中译英和英译中也有很大差别。一般来说,中国翻译(母语为中文的翻译)做的中译英稿件问题都很多。基本上是每句都得做修改,看上去才地道。就英译中和德译中来讲,我看过的大部分稿件都不错,需要改动的地方很少。

你用人不得体啊!

[Edited at 2009-04-28 12:15 GMT]


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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
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see a movie Apr 28, 2009

我从小到大接受的学校教育也是说,movie只能watch,不能see。看了Donglai的例子,查了一下金山词霸里面的美国传统词典,里面第19个词条:

To attend; view:
参观;观看:
Let's see a movie.
我们看电影去

又查网上的websters,看到这一条:http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definition/see
7. See or watch; "view a show on television"; "This program will be seen all over the world"; "view an exhibition"; "Catch a show on Broadway"; "see a movie".

所以see a movie是字典里都有的。我们学的东西太不靠谱了!

Donglai Lou wrote:

语言这东西有时是越学越迷糊,有许多约定俗成的“错误”用法挑战着语法的机械性。比如说,昨天收到了申请的电影会员卡。所附的信函中有一句“earn 10 points for every movie you see”。在大陆用90年前后英文课本的同学都知道,movie 只能 watch 不能 see,否则考试时绝对算你错。



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校对/审需要怎样的资格?此例的"校"并不添花

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