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测试未通过,很想知道是差在哪里,所以求助坛里的各位。
Thread poster: wqxm922

wqxm922  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 22:30
English to Chinese
+ ...
Aug 12, 2009

您的每一句宝贵意见,都是我前进道路上的动力。如果我是一头不服输的驴,那就请您做赶驴的车夫,尽情的鞭策我,让我前进吧,谢谢!
以下是这次测试,一共5段:

Each of the four lines, as well as individual models within these lines, is designed to appeal to various demographic groups. The Company's footwear products emphasize function, comfort and technical performance, and are suitable for a variety of demanding outdoor and athletic activities, as well as casual and everyday use.

TRANSLATE HERE
关于这四个系列,包括其个性产品,其设计初衷是希望能够以此吸引各种具有不同背景的消费群体。公司尤其关注鞋类产品的功能、舒适度以及技术性能,产品适用于各类户外活动、体育项目,以及日常休闲之用。


Although sandals have been around forever, their use in sports and outdoor activities had been extremely limited by poor construction. That changed in 1973 when a few surfer buddies started XX. Fresh out of college, they saw new ways to use advanced materials and designs to spawn durable, water-compatible sandals that could be used during rough-n-tuff activities, yet be stylish and versatile. Their venture was the forefront of action sandal technology. XX was the first sandal manufacturer to use high quality military spec parachute nylon webbing and closed-cell multi-density neoprene rubbers. Simply put, XX flip flops were ahead of their time back in the day.

TRANSLATE HERE
尽管凉鞋久已有之,但因其构造缺陷,以前很少有人在体育和户外活动中穿用凉鞋。自1973年几位冲浪小伙儿创办XX后,这种情况开始有所改观。从大学毕业后,他们发明了新的方法,可以利用先进材料和设计, 生产出耐用且不怕水的新款凉鞋,这种凉鞋既美观又实用,在做剧烈运动时也可以穿。他们这种尝试乃是动作凉鞋技术的先驱。XX是首家采用高质量军用规格降落伞尼龙织带和闭孔多密度氯丁橡胶的凉鞋生产商。简而言之,XX凉鞋在那时乃是领先于时代的产品。




Still, the second straight increase in retail sales may be a sign that the economy is on the verge of a rebound. Americans spending more for the rest of this year should help end the longest recession since World War II, but economists maintain that any recovery will be slow.

TRANSLATE HERE
尽管如此,零售额的第二波直线上升有可能是经济正处在复苏边缘的前兆。在本年接下来的时间内,美国人支出的增加应该会有助于结束这段自二战以来时间最长的经济衰退,但经济学家仍然认为,复苏将是一个缓慢的过程。



In addition to the line’s popular fleetwide stroller rental program, babysitting will be available at a nominal per-hour fee and will take place in the children’s playroom. Bouncy seats, travel swings and GameBoy Advance portable gaming units will be available for rent, as well.

TRANSLATE HERE
除了广受欢迎的手推车租赁项目外,还可以在儿童游戏室内提供按小时收费的托儿服务。此外,弹椅、秋千和GBA这样的便携游戏设备也可供出租。



The company plans to enter the Saudi market in a month through a partnership with a Jeddah-based distributor, said Van Almsick, adding the company plans to deliver the first ton of chocolates to Saudi Arabia soon. Al Nassma is also in talks with British department store Harrods and San Francisco's Chocolate Covered to sell its products.

TRANSLATE HERE
Van Almsick说,公司正计划与一家吉达地区的经销商成立合伙企业,以在一个月后进入沙特阿拉伯市场。他还补充道,第一吨巧克力很快就会运往沙特阿拉伯。Al Nassma同时也在和英国的百货商店Harrods以及旧金山的Chocolate Covered进行产品销售谈判。


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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:30
Member (2007)
English to Chinese
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第一段 Aug 12, 2009

刚看了第一段,看了一遍,说印象吧:总的来说可以,现在看出来的毛病有:
individual译得不准确,demanding没有译出。


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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:30
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English to Chinese
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第二段 Aug 12, 2009

主要毛病是rough-n-tuff,不单是剧烈运动。

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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:30
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第三段 Aug 12, 2009

any recovery中的any没有译出,意思是:即使有复苏,复苏也会很慢。

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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:30
Member (2007)
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第四段 Aug 12, 2009

第一句的line和fleetwide都没翻。

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Zhoudan  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:30
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English to Chinese
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鼓励的话 Aug 12, 2009

粗粗看了一遍,我觉得你总体上翻得还是不错的。要我评的话,85分以上。

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Shouguang Cao
China
Local time: 22:30
Member (2007)
English to Chinese
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没关系 Aug 12, 2009

Zhoudan wrote:

刚看了第一段,看了一遍,说印象吧:总的来说可以,现在看出来的毛病有:
individual译得不准确,demanding没有译出。


individual 很可能会被认为是严重的理解错误,尤其是它出现在整个测试的开头,对测试结果可能会有很大的影响。

测试没通过再正常不过。不必太再意。


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xxxwonita
China
Local time: 11:30
Rough-n-tuff activities Aug 12, 2009

Zhoudan wrote:

主要毛病是rough-n-tuff,不单是剧烈运动。


rough-n-tuff activities在英文里是指徒步、登山、探险等户外活动,和我们中文里的剧烈运动是两回事。

做“剧烈运动”怎么可以穿凉鞋?


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xxxDan Z
Local time: 09:30
German to Chinese
+ ...
Re Aug 12, 2009

句与句之间的衔接有点不自然,让读的人不自觉得联想到这是一段从英文翻译过来的文字。

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Happylandie Duan  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:30
Chinese to English
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the second straight increase意思没翻译出来 Aug 12, 2009

Still, the second straight increase in retail sales may be a sign that the economy is on the verge of a rebound. Americans spending more for the rest of this year should help end the longest recession since World War II, but economists maintain that any recovery will be slow.

TRANSLATE HERE
尽管如此,零售额的第二波直线上升有可能是经济正处在复苏边缘的前兆。在本年接下来的时间内,美国人支出的增加应该会有助于结束这段自二战以来时间最长的经济衰退,但经济学家仍然认为,复苏将是一个缓慢的过程 。

我觉得问题主要出在这一小段上,这一段确实有几处没译到位,尤其是the second straight increase 和on ther verge of 。我会这样翻译:

不过,零售额连续两个月的上升也许意味着经济已处于触底反弹的边缘。


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xxxwonita
China
Local time: 11:30
individual Aug 12, 2009

Zhoudan wrote:

刚看了第一段,看了一遍,说印象吧:总的来说可以,现在看出来的毛病有:
individual译得不准确,demanding没有译出。


这个我也是译成“个性化”。

“Each of the four lines, as well as individual models within these lines, is designed to appeal to various demographic groups.

TRANSLATE HERE
关于这四个系列,包括其个性产品,其设计初衷是希望能够以此吸引各种具有不同背景的消费群体。“

这句的译文我稍稍该一下,主要觉得“关于”放在这里不太合适:

4个系列产品及系列产品内个性化产品的设计是为了吸引不同的消费群体。


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wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 09:30
Chinese to English
+ ...
individual models Aug 12, 2009

Bin Tiede wrote:

Zhoudan wrote:

刚看了第一段,看了一遍,说印象吧:总的来说可以,现在看出来的毛病有:
individual译得不准确,demanding没有译出。


这个我也是译成“个性化”。

“Each of the four lines, as well as individual models within these lines, is designed to appeal to various demographic groups.

TRANSLATE HERE
关于这四个系列,包括其个性产品,其设计初衷是希望能够以此吸引各种具有不同背景的消费群体。“

这句的译文我稍稍该一下,主要觉得“关于”放在这里不太合适:

4个系列产品及系列产品内个性化产品的设计是为了吸引不同的消费群体。




周丹说得对, "各个产品" 或 "各项产品" 即可.


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asyouwish_dew  Identity Verified
Local time: 22:30
Member (2009)
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第一句我这样翻译的。。 Aug 12, 2009

这四个产品系列中的每一系列,包括每一系列中的每一款式,都是为吸引各类人群而设计的。

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xxxwonita
China
Local time: 11:30
再改一下 Aug 12, 2009

4个系列及系列内每个产品的设计都是为了吸引不同的消费群体。

这样好吗?


wherestip wrote:

Bin Tiede wrote:

Zhoudan wrote:

刚看了第一段,看了一遍,说印象吧:总的来说可以,现在看出来的毛病有:
individual译得不准确,demanding没有译出。


这个我也是译成“个性化”。

“Each of the four lines, as well as individual models within these lines, is designed to appeal to various demographic groups.

TRANSLATE HERE
关于这四个系列,包括其个性产品,其设计初衷是希望能够以此吸引各种具有不同背景的消费群体。“

这句的译文我稍稍该一下,主要觉得“关于”放在这里不太合适:

4个系列产品及系列产品内个性化产品的设计是为了吸引不同的消费群体。




周丹说得对, "各个产品" 或 "各项产品" 即可.



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wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 09:30
Chinese to English
+ ...
原文 Aug 12, 2009

Bin Tiede wrote:

4个系列及系列内每个产品的设计都是为了吸引不同的消费群体。

这样好吗?


wherestip wrote:

Bin Tiede wrote:

Zhoudan wrote:

刚看了第一段,看了一遍,说印象吧:总的来说可以,现在看出来的毛病有:
individual译得不准确,demanding没有译出。


这个我也是译成“个性化”。

“Each of the four lines, as well as individual models within these lines, is designed to appeal to various demographic groups.

TRANSLATE HERE
关于这四个系列,包括其个性产品,其设计初衷是希望能够以此吸引各种具有不同背景的消费群体。“

这句的译文我稍稍该一下,主要觉得“关于”放在这里不太合适:

4个系列产品及系列产品内个性化产品的设计是为了吸引不同的消费群体。




周丹说得对, "各个产品" 或 "各项产品" 即可.



对, "每种产品"、"每种款式" 都行. 英文原文就是这个意思.


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