一则伪文言翻译,敬请批评
Thread poster: Linjian

Linjian
China
Local time: 19:31
English to Chinese
+ ...
Dec 15, 2009

这是不久前做的一个试译,对方要求试译一千字,本违背通行的原则,但看到题材很有趣,当自己练习也不错,但不想译文一发过去,就再没回声了。这里只是想谈一下,使用伪文言(所以说伪,确实是从未认真学过文言,日常“务实”事项太多,来不及去看古文)进行翻译的背景。

第一句就被难住了,也是第一句,触发了用一种更简洁的问题进行翻译的想法:A meditative mind is silent,很好理解,可怎么说呢,直接用:“冥想的心灵是安静的(心灵)”吗?在翻译中,似乎形成了一种潜意识,努力回避使用太多的“的”“了”之类的口水话,尽量使译文清爽利落。

另外,在后面的几句出现了很多代词,而汉语比较回避代词,直接隐化了。对“的”“了”及代词的回避,很自然就引向了一种更简洁说辞方式,后来就形成了当前的比较四不像的译文。

愿听到论坛诸家的看法。另外,欢迎对译文进行批评或润饰。谢谢~


Meditations
冥想

By Jiddu Krishnamurti
作者:克里希那穆提


A meditative mind is SILENT. It is not the silence which thought can conceive of; it is not the silence of a still evening; it is the silence when thought—with all its images, its words and perceptions—has entirely ceased. This meditative mind is the religious mind—the religion that is not touched by the church, the temples or by chants.
冥想之心灵,宁静无声。但此种宁静,非思维所能设想,非静夜可与比拟,乃系思维——连同其所有意象、言语和认识——完全停止时所伴随之状态。冥想之心灵是宗教之心灵,但与教堂、寺庙或赞歌无关。

The religious mind is the explosion of love. It is this love that knows no separation. To it, far is near. It is not the one or the many, but rather that state of love in which all division ceases. Like beauty, it is not of the measure of words. From this silence alone the meditative mind acts.
宗教之心灵,是爱之勃发。此爱不可分隔,视天涯如咫尺。非一,亦非多,消泯一切区隔。与美相似,非文字所能诠。独由此宁静之境,冥想之心灵始自我呈现。

MEDITATION IS ONE of the greatest arts in life—perhaps the greatest, and one cannot possibly learn it from anybody. That is the beauty of it. It has no technique and therefore no authority. When you learn about yourself, watch yourself, watch the way you walk, how you eat, what you say, the gossip, the hate, the jealousy—if you are aware of all that in yourself, without any choice, that is part of meditation.
冥想乃生活最伟大之艺术之一,也许是惟一最伟大之艺术,人不可习之他人,此亦其独特魅力之所在。无技巧可习之,故而无权威可教之。认识自我,反观自我,视其行步、饮食、言谈、闲言、仇恨、妒忌;如果人能不加选择,在自身中意识到这一切,则其已在冥想之中了。

So meditation can take place when you are silting in a bus or walking in the woods full of light and shadows, or listening to the singing of birds or looking at the face of your wife or child.
故此,冥想不受时空之所限,不论坐于客车之上,行走于光影斑驳的树林之中,倾听鸟之鸣叫,抑或端详妻子儿女的面庞,随时随地皆可进行。

IT'S CURIOUS how all-important meditation becomes; there's no end to it nor is there a beginning to it. It's like a rain­drop: in that drop are all the streams, the great rivers, the seas and the waterfalls; that drop nourishes the earth and man; without it, the earth would be a desert. Without meditation the heart becomes a desert, a wasteland.
冥想无终无始,重要性超乎一切,如一滴雨水,包容溪流大河,海洋瀑布,滋养地球与人类。没有雨滴,则大地变为荒漠;没有冥想,则人心亦与荒漠无异。

Meditation is to find out whether the brain, with all the activities, all its experiences, can be absolutely quiet. Not forced, because the moment you force, there is duality. The entity that says, "I would like to have marvelous experiences, therefore I must force my brain to be quiet," will never do it. But if you begin to inquire, observe, listen to all the move­ments of thought, its conditioning, its pursuits, its fears, its pleasures, watch how the brain operates, then you will see that the brain becomes extraordinarily quiet; that quietness is not sleep but is tremendously active and therefore quiet. A big dynamo that is working perfectly hardly makes a sound; it is only when there is friction that there is noise.
冥想寻求证实心灵及其一切活动与经验能否完全安静。安静,而不施外力,因为一经施力,则为两歧。人若做如是说:“我欲得美妙之经历,故而应勉励求静”,则必不能成。人若开始探究、审视、倾听心灵之所有运动以及其熏陶、追求、恐惧与喜乐,关注心灵之运行,则其心灵必无比宁静;此宁静,非为睡眠,然极活跃,亦极宁静。譬如一巨型电机,工作完美,则几不做声,因为有声响,乃是有摩擦不和之故。

Silence and spaciousness go together. The immensity of silence is the immensity of the mind in which a center does not exist.、
宁静与阔大相随。宁静之阔大无边乃是阔大无边之心灵之反映,心灵因极扩大,故而无中心。

MEDITATION IS HARD WORK. It demands the highest form of discipline—not conformity, not imitation, not obedience—but a discipline which comes through constant awareness, not only of the things about you outwardly, but also inwardly. So meditation is not an activity of isolation but is action in everyday life which demands co-operation, sensi­tivity and intelligence. Without laying the foundation of a righteous life, meditation becomes an escape and therefore has no value whatsoever. A righteous life is not the following of social morality, but the freedom from envy, greed and the search for power—which all breed enmity. The freedom from these does not come through the activity of will but by being aware of them through self-knowing. Without knowing the activities of the self, meditation becomes sensuous excitement and therefore of very little significance.
冥想非易事,要求最高层次之纪律。此所谓纪律,非服从、模仿、顺从之谓,乃得之于持续之自觉,且非但自觉自身之外在,亦自觉内在之自我。故此,冥想非孤立之活动,乃需要合作、敏感及智慧参与之日常行为。冥想以正义之生活为根基,无此则沦为逃避,从而无任何价值之可言。正义之生活,非遵从社会道德之谓,乃超然于嫉妒、贪婪和权势之自由,盖所超然者,皆滋生敌意者也。达此自由,非强设功力所可得,乃源自内在之自觉。不理解自我之行动,则冥想沦为感官之刺激,毫无意义。

ALWAYS TO SEEK for wider, deeper, transcendental experi­ences is a form of escape from the actual reality of "what is," which is ourselves, our own conditioned mind. A mind that is awake, intelligent, free, why should it need, why should it have, any experience at all? Light is light; it does not ask for more light.
总欲寻求更广阔、更渊深、更超然之体验,实为对现实存在、对此在、对我们自身、对我们定势的心灵之逃避。心灵若自觉、知性、自由,则不需亦不必有任何经验。光之为光,本然而已,不更求光亮。

MEDITATION IS ONE of the most EXTRAORDINARY things, and if you do not know what it is you are like the blind man in a world of bright color, shadows and moving light. It is not an intellectual affair, but when the heart enters into the mind, the mind has quite a different quality; it is really, then, limitless, not only in its capacity to think, to act efficiently, but also in its sense of living in a vast space where you are part of everything.
冥想,世间最特别之事也,不知冥想为何物,则懵懂如盲人置身光影变幻之世界。冥想非智力活动,但心智交融,则境界为之大变,思维及行动之能力豁然阔大无边,融入万有,天人合一。

Meditation is the movement of love. It isn't the love of the one or of the many. It is like water that anyone can drink out of any jar, whether golden or EARTHENWARE; it is inexhaustible. And a peculiar thing takes place, which no drug or self-hypnosis can bring about; it is as though the mind enters into itself, beginning at the surface and penetrating ever more deeply, until depth and height have lost their meaning and every form of measurement ceases. In this state there is complete peace—not contentment which has come about through gratification—but a peace that has order, beauty and intensity. It can all be destroyed, as you can destroy a flower, and yet because of its very vulnerability it is indestructible. This meditation cannot be learned from another. You must begin without knowing anything about it and move from innocence to innocence.
冥想乃爱之运动。其所爱者,非一,亦非多。一如人所饮之水,可取之于罐,不论盛之者为金为泥,其质一也,不可穷竭。当此之时,异境生也,然非药物或催眠之效,此境如心灵步入其自身,由表及里,不断趋深,直至渊深高邈皆失去意义,一切度量顿然消泯。当此之时,乃完全之平和,然非源自自我快感之满足,乃自有其秩序、美丽和强度之平和。一如娇花,此境极易破坏,然正是其脆弱,使其无可消灭。此种冥想,不可习之他人。必得从对之无所知始,由单纯走向单纯。

The soil in which the meditative mind can begin is the soil of everyday life, the strife, the pain and the fleeting joy. It must begin there, and bring order, and from there move endlessly. But if you are concerned only with making order, then that very order will bring about its own limitation, and the mind will be its prisoner. In all this movement you must somehow begin from the other end, from the other shore, and not al­ways be concerned with this shore or how to cross the river. You must take a plunge into the water, not knowing how to swim. And the beauty of meditation is that you never know where you are, where you are going, what the end is.
日常生活,连同其纷扰、苦痛及倏然之喜乐,乃冥想萌发之土壤。冥想必得自日常生活始,并带来秩序,由之移动,至于无极。人若一心孜孜于寻求秩序,则该秩序本身即构成其自身之局限,心灵亦成其囚徒。在此运动中,人必得从彼端、彼岸始,而不可泥于此案抑或如何渡向彼岸。虽不暗泳术,仍纵身如水。不知所在,不知何往,不知何终,冥想之魅力,尽在此矣!

[Edited at 2009-12-15 02:23 GMT]

[修改时间: 2009-12-15 02:26 GMT]


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wenli  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 19:31
English to Chinese
水平有限,只能仰慕。 Dec 15, 2009

感觉很好。

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一则伪文言翻译,敬请批评

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