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Thread poster: redred

redred  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
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Aug 6, 2010

这么挑剔而挑得不合理的人,很少见到,很郁闷。

温家宝在我省考察防汛抗洪工作
Wen Jiabao inspects the flood prevention and relief work in our province (redred)
Wen Jiabao Inspects the Flood Prevention and Relief Work in Our Province(客)
对方嫌不是大写。

1、温家宝总理不时与当地群众挥手,请大家放心,党和政府一定会帮助受灾群众重建家园。
1. Premier Wen Jiabao waved people from time to time and said please rest assured that CPC party and government would help the flood-affected people rebuild their homes. (redred)
1. Premier Wen Jiabao waved to people from time to time and told them to be assured that CPC party and government would help the flood-affected people rebuild their homes. (客)

2、8月3日,温家宝在吉林市永吉县三十五中学受灾群众临时安置点看望受伤群众。
2. Wen Jiabao visited injured people in Jilin City Yongji County 35th Middle School, where is a temporary settlement site for flood-affected people, August 3. (redred)
2. August 3, Wen Jiabao visited injured people in Jilin City Yongji County 35th Middle School, which is a temporary settlement site for flood-affected people. (客)
哪条翻译法则规定日期一定要放句首?where是地点指35中学.

3、8月3日下午,温家宝一下飞机就驱车一个多小时,直奔遭受洪涝灾害最严重的永吉县,慰问参与救灾的解放军、武警官兵、青年突击队员、志愿者和群众。
3. Wen Jiabao was riding more than one hour to the most flood-hit Yongji County as soon as he got off his plane, seeing PLA soldiers, armed police, young commandos, volunteers and the masses. (redred)
3. On the afternoon of August 3, Wen Jiabao was riding more than one hour to the most flood-hit Yongji County as soon as he got off his plane, seeing PLA soldiers, armed police, young commandos, volunteers and the masses. (客)
承认漏了日期。

4、“7.29!水质合格!”在吉林市临江门大桥流动水质监测点,温家宝蹲下身来使用电子仪器测量松花江水PH值,仪器显示为7.29,属于正常范围。
4. “7.29! Water is qualified!” Wen Jiabao went down and used electronic instrument measuring PH for Songhuajiang River, the apparatus indicated 7.29, it was midst the normal range. (redred)
4. “7.29! Water is qualified!” Wen Jiabao went down and used electronic instrument measuring PH for Songhuajiang River, the apparatus indicated 7.29, which is midst the normal range. (客)
他改为which is midst the normal range. 我用it有什么问题?一件发生在过去的事,用was有错吗?

5、永吉大桥一半被洪水冲毁,临时用木头搭建了桥面。温家宝站在桥上认真听取孙政才介绍永吉县受灾情况。
5. Half of Yongji Bridge collapsed in the flood, a temporary wooden bridge was built. Wen Jiabao stood at the bridge carefully listening Sun Zhengcai’s introduction on Yongji County’s disaster situation. (redred)
5. Half of Yongji Bridge collapsed in the flood, and a temporary wooden bridge was built. Wen Jiabao stood at the bridge carefully listening to Sun Zhengcai’s introduction of Yongji County’s disaster situation.(客)
introduction of 固然可以,用introduction on又有什么问题?

6、8月3日,在永吉县三十五中学受灾群众临时安置点食堂,温家宝叮嘱厨师一定要让受灾群众吃好。
6.Wen Jiabao urged cooks to guarantee the flood-affected people having better meals at the canteen of Yongji County 35th Middle School temporary settlement site, August 3. (redred)
6. August 3, Wen Jiabao urged cooks to guarantee the flood-affected people having better meals at the canteen of Yongji County 35th Middle School temporary settlement site. (客)

7、总理到来的消息迅速传开,永吉县的群众从四面八方围拢过来。站在泥泞的街道上,温家宝对广大官兵和群众说:“我代表党中央、国务院来灾区看望大家,向奋战在抗洪一线的人民子弟兵表示崇高敬意!”
7. Yongji’s people crowded around as soon as they heard of the message that Premier Wen would arrive at. Wen Jiabao stood in the sludgy street, said to the army officers, soldiers, people: “I represent CPC Central Committee, the State Council to see you, giving the most respectable salute to Chinese people's army who fight in the anti-flood frontline!” (redred)
7. Yongji’s people crowded around as soon as they heard that Premier Wen would arrive. Wen Jiabao stood in the sludgy street, said to the army officers, soldiers, and the masses: “I represent CPC Central Committee, the State Council to see you, giving the most respectable salute to Chinese people's army who fight in the anti-flood frontline!” (客)
heard of:听说、道听旁说;他改为heard that。Premier Wen would arrive at,他删了at,到达小地方是使用arrive at,到达大城市是arrive in。这次用people表示群众,没像第3段那样用the masses,他又有意见了,masses是中国特色的产品,本来用people就可以。


8、在吉林市,总理亲切地握住群众的手,久久不肯放开,大家心中那份沉甸甸的感动尽在不言中。
8. Premier kindly held people’s hands and didn’t release his grasp for a long time in Jilin City, people couldn’t express their strong affection feeling by any word. (redred)
8. Premier kindly held people’s hands and people didn’t release his grasp for a long time in Jilin City; they couldn’t express their strong affections by any word. (客)
中文是说总理不肯松开抓着群众的手。

[Edited at 2010-08-06 11:10 GMT]


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nigerose  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
Chinese to English
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没有仔细看 Aug 6, 2010

没有仔细看你这些翻译。感觉有些地方有完善的空间,不过我也不想挑你和你的客户的问题。
我只想说,客户怎么改是他的自由,最终责任在他。你发现他改得好就吸取,发现改错了就向他指出。


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Cheng Peng  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
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客户付钱了吗 Aug 6, 2010

客户付钱了吗?
如果付钱了,我觉得他可能被 rip off 了。


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pkchan  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 17:27
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最难伺候的不是客户 Aug 6, 2010

而有中國特色的遣詞用字是最難翻。假如用了這些﹕temporary shelters, flood victims, flood related injuries and deaths, rushed to the scene, disaster relief, comfort the victims, water quality is within normal range, pH values, bridges being washed away, accounts of the disaster situations, quality meals, on hearing the news of Premier Wen's arrival 等英文字眼,必定會被客戶改到滿紙通紅兼不付錢。

[修改时间: 2010-08-06 14:20 GMT]


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lbone  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
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我觉得他改的好几处都有些道理 Aug 6, 2010

大致看了看,我觉得只要客户愿意付钱就没什么好说的。要是因为这些改动不愿意付钱当然就不对了。

我觉得他改的有几处有些道理,其它有些可能是他的个人偏好,没有一一仔细研究过(关于日期的位置,相比你的写法,我本人更喜欢他放前面的那种写法),也不能算改错了。如果要是由他来定稿,他也有权做这些改动。比如第一句如果是标题,他改成大写也没什么不对的。明确改错的大概只有最后一句。

他也只是改了一部分,如果细挑,还有其它可以改的地方。

2. 连接从句没什么印象用where (is),我同意这里改成which (is),这里which(原来是where)要做从句的主语。我很少见过这种情况下拿where做从句主语的。

4. "7.29, "的最后是一个逗号。如果你用it,相当于后面另开一个完整的句子,那前面应该用句号或分号,用逗号+it在句法上不对。
“the apparatus indicated 7.29”,如果不算后面你们有争议的那部分,这块本身也是一个完整的句子,它和前面也不应该用逗号分隔。
我觉得你在完整句子之间不能用逗号分割这点上没怎么注意。他在第8句上也帮你改了一次:“, people”->“; they”。
他用is,也许是指“7.29属于正常范围”这个判断在任何时候都适用。这点可能会有不同理解。

7. arrive at/in后面应该接一个目的地。如果没有目的地,当然不能有at或in。

最后一句握爪不松的主语应该是他理解错了。

[Edited at 2010-08-07 01:06 GMT]


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Henry Zhang  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 22:27
English to Chinese
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跑题 Aug 6, 2010

如果BBC上写“卡梅伦紧紧握着老农的手,久久不愿松开。”
估计英国读者要吐了,怀疑他们的首相性取向有问题。


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xxxkenny2006woo

Local time: 05:27
English to Chinese
我省 Aug 7, 2010

redred wrote:
温家宝在我省考察防汛抗洪工作
Wen Jiabao inspects the flood prevention and relief work in our province (redred)
Wen Jiabao Inspects the Flood Prevention and Relief Work in Our Province(客)
对方嫌不是大写。


我猜这是新闻,如果是,“我省”翻译成“our province"好像不太好,为什么不直接说出省名呢?

一管之见哈。


[Edited at 2010-08-07 06:21 GMT]

[Edited at 2010-08-07 06:23 GMT]


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jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 17:27
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
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客户被谁rip off 了? Aug 7, 2010

Cheng Peng wrote:

客户付钱了吗?
如果付钱了,我觉得他可能被 rip off 了。


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dd dd
Local time: 05:27
English to Chinese
+ ...
刚开始一打眼儿也没看明白 Aug 7, 2010

kenny2006woo wrote:

redred wrote:
温家宝在我省考察防汛抗洪工作
Wen Jiabao inspects the flood prevention and relief work in our province (redred)
Wen Jiabao Inspects the Flood Prevention and Relief Work in Our Province(客)
对方嫌不是大写。


我猜这是新闻,如果是,“我省”翻译成“our province"好像不太好,为什么不直接说出省名呢?

一管之见哈。


[Edited at 2010-08-07 06:21 GMT]

[Edited at 2010-08-07 06:23 GMT]




后来看明白了,这是个标题,所以要大写。


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redred  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
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+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
差异 Aug 8, 2010

网上的Chinadaily (http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/),及《中国日报》报纸(hardcopy)的新闻标题没一个是大写。尽管教科书上的要求是大写,介词不用大写,也没什么很大的关系,免得打字时要转换大小写。

“放心”是rest assured,be assured是什么来的。

日期的表示方法,不加逗号就on August 3,常见的是放在句子最后。

[Edited at 2010-08-08 01:57 GMT]


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xxxkenny2006woo

Local time: 05:27
English to Chinese
我说的不是大小写 Aug 8, 2010

Laura Liu wrote:

kenny2006woo wrote:

redred wrote:
温家宝在我省考察防汛抗洪工作
Wen Jiabao inspects the flood prevention and relief work in our province (redred)
Wen Jiabao Inspects the Flood Prevention and Relief Work in Our Province(客)
对方嫌不是大写。


我猜这是新闻,如果是,“我省”翻译成“our province"好像不太好,为什么不直接说出省名呢?

一管之见哈。


[Edited at 2010-08-07 06:21 GMT]

[Edited at 2010-08-07 06:23 GMT]




后来看明白了,这是个标题,所以要大写。


我是意思是把省名写出来,比如温家宝在我省(湖南)视察,就直接写“Wen Jiabao Tours Hunan".

拙见,呵呵。

[Edited at 2010-08-09 02:07 GMT]


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ysun  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:27
English to Chinese
+ ...
"rest assured" vs. "be assured" Aug 8, 2010

redred wrote:

“放心”是rest assured,be assured是什么来的。

"Please rest assured” 是地道的英语。审稿者的修改是画蛇添足。


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AndyTsai  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
Member (2011)
Chinese to English
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有些细节改得不错 Aug 8, 2010

redred wrote:


2、8月3日,温家宝在吉林市永吉县三十五中学受灾群众临时安置点看望受伤群众。
2. Wen Jiabao visited injured people in Jilin City Yongji County 35th Middle School, where is a temporary settlement site for flood-affected people, August 3. (redred)
2. August 3, Wen Jiabao visited injured people in Jilin City Yongji County 35th Middle School, which is a temporary settlement site for flood-affected people. (客)
哪条翻译法则规定日期一定要放句首?where是地点指35中学.


“where is a temporary settlement site for flood-affected people”, where可以这样用吗?我觉得可以改为“where a temporary settlement site is set for flood-affected people ...".


redred wrote:
4、“7.29!水质合格!”在吉林市临江门大桥流动水质监测点,温家宝蹲下身来使用电子仪器测量松花江水PH值,仪器显示为7.29,属于正常范围。
4. “7.29! Water is qualified!” Wen Jiabao went down and used electronic instrument measuring PH for Songhuajiang River, the apparatus indicated 7.29, it was midst the normal range. (redred)
4. “7.29! Water is qualified!” Wen Jiabao went down and used electronic instrument measuring PH for Songhuajiang River, the apparatus indicated 7.29, which is midst the normal range. (客)
他改为which is midst the normal range. 我用it有什么问题?一件发生在过去的事,用was有错吗?


这里的"midst"应该是"admist"吧?


redred wrote:
7、总理到来的消息迅速传开,永吉县的群众从四面八方围拢过来。站在泥泞的街道上,温家宝对广大官兵和群众说:“我代表党中央、国务院来灾区看望大家,向奋战在抗洪一线的人民子弟兵表示崇高敬意!”
7. Yongji’s people crowded around as soon as they heard of the message that Premier Wen would arrive at. Wen Jiabao stood in the sludgy street, said to the army officers, soldiers, people: “I represent CPC Central Committee, the State Council to see you, giving the most respectable salute to Chinese people's army who fight in the anti-flood frontline!” (redred)
7. Yongji’s people crowded around as soon as they heard that Premier Wen would arrive. Wen Jiabao stood in the sludgy street, said to the army officers, soldiers, and the masses: “I represent CPC Central Committee, the State Council to see you, giving the most respectable salute to Chinese people's army who fight in the anti-flood frontline!” (客)
heard of:听说、道听旁说;他改为heard that。Premier Wen would arrive at,他删了at,到达小地方是使用arrive at,到达大城市是arrive in。这次用people表示群众,没像第3段那样用the masses,他又有意见了,masses是中国特色的产品,本来用people就可以。

我觉得这里就是"arrive"

redred wrote:
8、在吉林市,总理亲切地握住群众的手,久久不肯放开,大家心中那份沉甸甸的感动尽在不言中。
8. Premier kindly held people’s hands and didn’t release his grasp for a long time in Jilin City, people couldn’t express their strong affection feeling by any word. (redred)
8. Premier kindly held people’s hands and people didn’t release his grasp for a long time in Jilin City; they couldn’t express their strong affections by any word. (客)
中文是说总理不肯松开抓着群众的手。

[Edited at 2010-08-06 11:10 GMT]

affection feeling连着用?


在下不揣冒昧,如有不当言辞或改动,还请原谅和指教!

[Edited at 2010-08-08 11:00 GMT]


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Alan Wang  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
English to Chinese
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特色观点 Aug 8, 2010

pkchan wrote:

而有中國特色的遣詞用字是最難翻。假如用了這些﹕temporary shelters, flood victims, flood related injuries and deaths, rushed to the scene, disaster relief, comfort the victims, water quality is within normal range, pH values, bridges being washed away, accounts of the disaster situations, quality meals, on hearing the news of Premier Wen's arrival 等英文字眼,必定會被客戶改到滿紙通紅兼不付錢。

[修改时间: 2010-08-06 14:20 GMT]


特色遣詞用字反映的往往是思维方式和观点的独特。有的很难英语化而不显得奇怪。下面是一段国内建筑队为申请国外工程的计划书文字:
施工总体部署
第一节 工程目标
一、 部署原则:“先地下,后地上;先土建,后专业;先结构,后维护;先主体,后装修;先房屋,后附属”。
二、 质量方针:提高员工素质,规范工作行为,追求完美品质,满足用户要求。

有人能把一、这段文字译成英文字眼吗?呵呵我是没这个能力。部署原则是不是能译成deployment code?


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AndyTsai  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:27
Member (2011)
Chinese to English
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部署原则 Aug 8, 2010

Alan Wang wrote:

pkchan wrote:

而有中國特色的遣詞用字是最難翻。假如用了這些﹕temporary shelters, flood victims, flood related injuries and deaths, rushed to the scene, disaster relief, comfort the victims, water quality is within normal range, pH values, bridges being washed away, accounts of the disaster situations, quality meals, on hearing the news of Premier Wen's arrival 等英文字眼,必定會被客戶改到滿紙通紅兼不付錢。

[修改时间: 2010-08-06 14:20 GMT]


特色遣詞用字反映的往往是思维方式和观点的独特。有的很难英语化而不显得奇怪。下面是一段国内建筑队为申请国外工程的计划书文字:
施工总体部署
第一节 工程目标
一、 部署原则:“先地下,后地上;先土建,后专业;先结构,后维护;先主体,后装修;先房屋,后附属”。
二、 质量方针:提高员工素质,规范工作行为,追求完美品质,满足用户要求。

有人能把一、这段文字译成英文字眼吗?呵呵我是没这个能力。部署原则是不是能译成deployment code?


Guidelines for deployment?


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