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她来了,她弹了,她征服了
Thread poster: Zhoudan

nigerose  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
尝试 Jun 20, 2011

I came, I saw, I conqured.
朕临之,睹之,克之。

She came, she played, she conquered.
伊人来之,奏之,倾之。



[修改时间: 2011-06-20 09:50 GMT]


 

kenny2006woo (X)

Local time: 05:04
English to Chinese
Jun 20, 2011

nigerose wrote:

I came, I saw, I conqured.
朕临之、睹之,克之。

She came, she played, she conquered.
伊人来之、奏之、倾之。



在下佩服!:)


 

nigerose  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
再尝试 Jun 20, 2011

I came, I saw, I conqured.
朕近之,习之,平之。

如果不严格直译,可以翻译成:
朕习之,近之,平之。

[修改时间: 2011-06-20 10:17 GMT]


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
文言文 Jun 20, 2011

nigerose wrote:

I came, I saw, I conqured.
朕近之,习之,平之。

如果不严格直译,可以翻译成:
朕习之,近之,平之。



nigerose,

你建议的文言句式在这种情况下效果很不错,大概正是 Zhoudan 寻求的。不过我还是认为读者须要有一定的背景知识才能领会,不知原文出处的人仍会处在迷茫之中。 依我看,这和借用 Route 66 来产生某种喻义上的效果情况大同小异,没有正文之外的介绍或注释,作用是不大的。 正如 jyuan 在另一讨论题中举的一例,读者如果不知道 Cindy Crawford 是何人的话,光是将原文译成 “克劳馥的选择” 而不加任何解释,是达不到原文的写作意图的。

http://www.proz.com/post/1748899#1748899

再者套用文言来翻译凯撒说过的话,岂不给取之不尽,用之不竭的中国历史文化宝库增添了更大的混乱及不必要的负担? 说句玩笑话,这有点儿象把莎士比亚翻成中国文言,并期待着国人达到家喻户晓。

尽管我是这样看,受你启发我也胡乱诌一诌 ...

吾到矣,吾察矣,吾胜矣。
我来也,我瞻也,我制胜也。

以本人浅见,文言文并排地使用三个助词 比起 白话文并排地使用 三个 "了" 字,音韵上和可读性都要强得多了。


[Edited at 2011-06-21 10:46 GMT]


 

ysun  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
English to Chinese
+ ...
以文言文翻译历史人物的名言 Jun 20, 2011

以上各位的建议都很好。我认为,以文言文翻译历史人物的名言,是一种可取的方法。尽管 Veni, vidi, vici 的中文翻译似乎已经约定俗成,但在此讨论一下还是很有意义的。不过,翻译当今的广告,我认为一般还是采用现代文体为好。

中华民族有五千多年光辉灿烂的文明史。我们的祖先给我们留下了极其丰富宝贵的文化遗产。汉语是世界上最美丽的语言。当然,我这样
... See more
以上各位的建议都很好。我认为,以文言文翻译历史人物的名言,是一种可取的方法。尽管 Veni, vidi, vici 的中文翻译似乎已经约定俗成,但在此讨论一下还是很有意义的。不过,翻译当今的广告,我认为一般还是采用现代文体为好。

中华民族有五千多年光辉灿烂的文明史。我们的祖先给我们留下了极其丰富宝贵的文化遗产。汉语是世界上最美丽的语言。当然,我这样说无疑是带有感情色彩的。但如果我说汉语是世界上最美丽的语言之一,那就一点儿都不过分,也绝对不是人云亦云!

在著名的 Gettysburg Address 中,林肯所说的 of the people, by the people, for the people 也是一种 tricolon。一百多年来,虽然出现了各种各样的中译本,但我个人比较推崇孙中山先生的“民有、民治、民享”,觉得这比钱歌川先生所译的“为人民服务的,被人民选出的,治理人民的”要强。

Gettysburg Address
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gettysburg_Address
This nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.


[Edited at 2011-06-20 20:48 GMT]
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ysun  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
English to Chinese
+ ...
为什么 VENI, VIDI, VICI 在欧美似乎家喻户晓? Jun 20, 2011

答案在这里:
http://www.bettyelders.com/theycame.html


 

Kailing Huang  Identity Verified
Local time: 23:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
expression of admiration :) Jun 20, 2011

nigerose wrote:

She came, she played, she conquered.
伊人来之,奏之,倾之。



[修改时间: 2011-06-20 09:50 GMT]


Absolutely beautiful! However, I feel that it would be more suitable in settings that describe a more subtle admiration (historical, perhaps?) towards the artist. In this context, I actually prefer what was suggested before: 精彩表演,出神入化,征服观众, much more modern and easily understood by the general public... Short, yet lyrical and to the point.

whereas the original title is a bit meh ^^;; I think those of Chinese native speakers who aren't familiar with European cultures would be quite confused as to what the translator was referring to! just my two cents


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
"Mame" Jun 20, 2011

ysun wrote:

为什么 VENI, VIDI, VICI 在欧美似乎家喻户晓?

答案在这里:
http://www.bettyelders.com/theycame.html





Indeed. Here's another place where one could find the phrase ...

http://www.proz.com/post/758249#758249




http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jUxZd1exbmw&NR=1

Mame (Robert Preston, Lucille Ball, and chorus)

- from the movie musical "Mame"

...

You make our black-eyed peas and our grits, Mame
Seem like the bill of fare at the Ritz, Mame
You came, you saw, you conquered
And absolutely nothing is the same
You're special fascination'll
Prove to be inspirational
We think you're just sensational, Mame
...



 

nigerose  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
现代文体 Jun 21, 2011

I came, I saw, I conqured.
我一来就盯住他,然后一举灭了他。


 

ysun  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
English to Chinese
+ ...
这个也不错 Jun 21, 2011

wherestip wrote:

她 炫目登场,大显身手,一鸣惊人

“她 炫目登场”就已经意味着“她来了”,而且是来表演了。央视 “星光大道”节目的第一个环节就叫做“闪亮登场”。

用白话文译广告不等于就必须译得像白开水一样。翻译广告需要一点创造力、想象力以及很强的表达能力。如果客户只肯花几分钱、几毛钱一个字的代价,恐怕就没有几个人肯下功夫、肯花时间去多琢磨。


 

ysun  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
English to Chinese
+ ...
白开水 Jun 21, 2011

VENI, VIDI, VICI.
亲征,制胜,克敌。


 

Phil Hand  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 05:04
Chinese to English
没有人愿意进一步本地化? Jun 21, 2011

那我再试一个:

知琴知己,百戰不殆!


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
指点江山 一代天骄 Jun 21, 2011

ysun wrote:

白开水

VENI, VIDI, VICI.
亲征,制胜,克敌。


Yueyin,

你这白开水也很有味道啊! 文字简练,意思到家。

说来说去,我觉得还是四个字的成语或短句比较好。 象你说的,中国的文字非常丰富,需要的是仔细琢磨和耐心推敲。

咱不妨再诌几个 ...

身临其境,洞悉一切,无往不胜
亲自出马,用兵如神,席卷大地
亲临战场,高瞻远瞩,纵横天涯

其实我中文很长时间不用,好多词汇成语都比较生疏淡漠了。好在如今还有个 Internet 网络。 ...


[Edited at 2011-06-21 14:09 GMT]


 

ysun  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
English to Chinese
+ ...
白开水加点花茶 Jun 21, 2011

Steve,

谢谢!你的建议也很有味道,而且更加貼切。另外,你提起一代天骄,使我想起了成吉思汗。他的形象似乎与恺撒相近。让成吉思汗战一下恺撒,不知结果将是如何?也许比关公战秦琼更精彩!

我也觉得用四字成语较好。我本来是想说“披甲亲征,料敌制胜,所向披靡”,但因原文都是两个音节,就压缩了一下。不过,我们都是在瞎折腾。


[Edited at 2011-06-21 14:39 GMT]


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:04
Chinese to English
+ ...
推敲 Jun 21, 2011

ysun wrote:

不过,我们都是在瞎折腾。



Yes, I agree. "披甲亲征,料敌制胜,所向披靡" is a very good choice of words though.


 
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