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她来了,她弹了,她征服了
Thread poster: Zhoudan

Zhoudan  Identity Verified
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Jun 13, 2011

刚才收到卓越网送来的CD,打开其中一张CD的说明书,看到这一句:她来了,她弹了,她征服了。我脑子里马上想到对应的英文是:She came, she played, she conquered. 对照英文说明,果然不错。学英语的对这个句型不陌生,都知道是套用:I came, I saw, I conquered。其出处wiki上有详细解释(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veni,_vidi,_vici)。问题是,翻译成中文后,普通中文读者有多少人能产生这样的联想,从而产生预期的效果呢?

 

Li Jie  Identity Verified
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她来了,她弹了,她征服了 Jun 13, 2011

如果原文就是 She came, she played, she conquered. 的话,我觉得做些增补可能会好些,比如:她来了,凭着弹...,征服了...

 

jyuan_us  Identity Verified
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哈哈 Jun 13, 2011

Zhoudan wrote:

刚才收到卓越网送来的CD,打开其中一张CD的说明书,看到这一句:她来了,她弹了,她征服了。我脑子里马上想到对应的英文是:She came, she played, she conquered. 对照英文说明,果然不错。学英语的对这个句型不陌生,都知道是套用:I came, I saw, I conquered。其出处wiki上有详细解释(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veni,_vidi,_vici)。问题是,翻译成中文后,普通中文读者有多少人能产生这样的联想,从而产生预期的效果呢?


你蒐集的都是語用學範疇的東東。既有趣味性又有可研討性。


 

ysun  Identity Verified
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He came, he played, he conquered Jun 14, 2011

Zhoudan wrote:

刚才收到卓越网送来的CD,打开其中一张CD的说明书,看到这一句:她来了,她弹了,她征服了。我脑子里马上想到对应的英文是:She came, she played, she conquered. 对照英文说明,果然不错。

小周:

一看到你这一帖我脑子里马上想到的就是日本青年钢琴家辻井伸行 (Nobuyuki Tsujii) 征服美国观众的一幕。我曾在另一话题中提到过他:

Japanese Blind Pianist Rises to Fame
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm6HIwEP0aE&feature=fvwrel

Nobuyuki Tsujii 辻井伸行 2009 Cliburn Competition FINAL RECITAL

Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody No 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XuEUWQCJSA

Chopin Berceuse, Op.57 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wqe_zeA8jIs

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobuyuki_Tsujii
Nobuyuki Tsujii (born September 13, 1988) is a Japanese pianist and composer who shared the First Prize at the Thirteenth Van Cliburn International Piano Competition in 2009 in a tie with co-winner Haochen Zhang of China.

Nobuyuki Tsujii was born blind but was gifted with a talent for music. At the age of two, he began to play Jingle Bells on a toy piano after his mother had been humming the tune. He began his formal study of piano at the age of four.


我还曾在另一帖里提到过他:
http://www.proz.com/post/1739978#1739978
ysun wrote:

当看到 Nobuyuki Tsujii 表演结束,台下观众全体起立,全场响起经久不息的热烈掌声和欢呼声时,当 Nobuyuki 的母亲和钢琴老师一次又一次地分别扶他出来谢幕时,我就想,他获得这样的荣誉完全当之无愧。

任何人(赵本山除外)如果看到这一幕都会被深深感动的。不过,我估计你们若不“翻墙”就无法看到这令人深深感动的一幕。


 

Zhoudan  Identity Verified
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翻墙看了 Jun 14, 2011

上月底换了一个速度快的,这才看到了。弹得是好。

ysun wrote:

不过,我估计你们若不“翻墙”就无法看到这令人深深感动的一幕。


 

Zhoudan  Identity Verified
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有没有可能 Jun 14, 2011

找到中文的另一种句式,能让中国人一看就会心一笑的那种。

当然,增补也是一种选择。
Li Jie wrote:

如果原文就是 She came, she played, she conquered. 的话,我觉得做些增补可能会好些,比如:她来了,凭着弹...,征服了...


 

ysun  Identity Verified
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应该译得灵活一些 Jun 14, 2011

Zhoudan wrote:

有没有可能
找到中文的另一种句式,能让中国人一看就会心一笑的那种。

我不擅长这方面的翻译,也不知该CD说明书详情。不过据你介绍,我觉得不一定非得刻板地套用原文格式。翻译应考虑到谁是预期的读者。研究或爱好外国文学、历史、军事、政治等的学者,其中许多人也许知道 "I came, I saw, I conquered” 这个国外典故。但一般观众、听众就不一定知道。阳春白雪,和者盖寡。因此,我认为不一定非得刻板地套用原文格式。译文只要能表达“她的精湛表演征服了观众”这层意思即可。如果想达到“能让中国人一看就会心一笑”的效果,就最好套用中国相近的典故或成语。那则 iphone 广告,就是因为过分拘泥于原文格式,故效果不佳。广告词完全可以译得灵活一些。

记得80年代初,中国放映过一部英国原版片 Carve Her Name with Pride。中文片名就不是直译,而是译为《女英烈传》。这就很好地体现了影片主题。如果直译,人们肯定会不知其所云。 同理,把Hamlet 译为《王子复仇记》肯定也比《哈姆雷特》要好。

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carve_Her_Name_with_Pride


[Edited at 2011-06-15 03:15 GMT]


 

ysun  Identity Verified
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Young Brave and Beautiful Jun 15, 2011

女英烈 - Violette Szabó
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violette_Szabo

The website created by Tania Szabó, Violette's daughter
http://www.violetteszabo.org/


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
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Veni, vidi, vici Jun 15, 2011

ysun wrote:

但一般观众、听众就不一定知道。阳春白雪,和者盖寡。因此,我认为不一定非得刻板地套用原文格式。译文只要能表达“她的精湛表演征服了观众”这层意思即可。



I too would recommend the approach Yueyin suggested. Again this is a situation where without the proper background knowledge, the majority of the target audience may not be able to appreciate the origin of the sentence reference.


BTW, here's a couple of examples where the press uses some variations of this expression while reporting on current events ...

http://hubpages.com/hub/He-Arrived-He-Saw-He-Conquered

http://lettredeparis.com/2011/05/michelle-obama-she-came-she-dazzled-she-conquered/


 

ysun  Identity Verified
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也谈 Veni, vidi, vici Jun 16, 2011

谢谢 Steve 提供的两个例子。其中,类似于 Veni, vidi, vici 的句型确实用得很恰当。同时,我们也可看到,那些作者也并非完全照搬。

Veni, vidi, vici 的主要特点是三个词都是由四个字母构成的双音节词。英语里称这种结构为 tricolon。
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tricolon
A tricolon (pl. tricola) is a sentence with three clearly defined parts (cola) of equal length, usually independent clauses and of increasing power.

Veni, vidi, vici
— (Julius Caesar)

"I came; I saw; I conquered."
However, the English is not a true tricolon, for its verbs are not all the same length, as is the case in the Latin.

如我上面所说,我认为不一定非得套用原文格式。不过,我们可以把这三部分都译为四个字,也许可以达到相近的效果。例如,“精彩表演,出神入化,征服观众”。当然,我并非英语科班出身,平时以科技翻译为主,不擅长于文学、广告方面的翻译。以上拙见权当是抛砖引玉吧!欢迎批评!


[Edited at 2011-06-16 04:45 GMT]


 

clearwater
China
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来了,弹了,服了 Jun 17, 2011

比较简洁,但唯一的缺憾是“服了”的是观众,而不是“她”。
当然,这里的服了取她使观众称服之意。


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
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Veni, vidi, vici Jun 19, 2011

ysun wrote:

如我上面所说,我认为不一定非得套用原文格式。不过,我们可以把这三部分都译为四个字,也许可以达到相近的效果。例如,“精彩表演,出神入化,征服观众”。当然,我并非英语科班出身,平时以科技翻译为主,不擅长于文学、广告方面的翻译。以上拙见权当是抛砖引玉吧!欢迎批评!



同意 Yueyin 这种处理方法,我认为翻译不要局限于字面上的一一对应,而是要抓住原文的精神实质。

我这儿也出个馊的,是早晨边跑步, 边凑出来的 ...icon_biggrin.gif

她 凯旋到来,一显身手,举世留名。

It's a little flashy. But hey, so is the original.

Anyway, indeed it is tough to come up with something in Chinese that's catchy and rolls off the tongue.


 

Phil Hand  Identity Verified
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让中国人一看就会心一笑的那种 Jun 19, 2011

肯定有,但肯定不是跟原文百分百一样。这个veni, vidi, vici暗示了凯撒做将军的厉害,那么你最自然想到的中国历史人物应该是诸葛亮,你针对诸葛亮的同样臭美的名言下点功夫:

以智克愚,顺也 --》 以吉他克民心,顺也

不知道这句名言对目标读者够不够熟悉,而且孔明给读者带来的连想跟凯撒带来的感觉不完全一样,但总算差不多吧!这种翻译难题应该是最伤脑筋的,正如 solange 同志说的:

For high profile films, the person who comes up with the title is probably paid more than the subtitler/dubbing translator of the entire film/book.
http://www.proz.com/forum/lighter_side_of_trans_interp/199315-film_titles_in_different_countries.html#1742491

翻译书名/电影名比翻译书更贵!

[Edited at 2011-06-19 17:59 GMT]


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
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Said in jest Jun 19, 2011

她 炫目登场,大显身手,一鸣惊人

她 迢迢千里亲临现场,大展演艺才华,众人无不为之倾倒

Better yet, ... 众人哗然,... 众人佩服得五体投地 ...icon_biggrin.gif

~*~*~*~*~*

I'm only joking. In reality, I detest the insincerity of bombastic words; it happens to be one of my pet peeves.

So, if it really were up to me, this would be my translation ...

她 亲临现场,大显身手,深受群众喜爱

Or for something that adheres even less to the original sentence structure ...

她的精湛表演博得了观众的好评/喝彩

Yueyin 的建议 “精彩表演,出神入化,征服观众” 我也很欣赏,如此翻译,不仅意思到家、易懂, 而且文字简朴、通顺。


[Edited at 2011-06-20 17:51 GMT]


 

kenny2006woo (X)

Local time: 08:55
English to Chinese
I came, I saw, I conqured. Jun 20, 2011

短短六字,霸气十足,要译成中文殊非易事。试译:朕御临此地,目之所见,皆为朕臣服。

自问与原文之气势相去甚远,权当抛砖引玉。



[Edited at 2011-06-20 03:23 GMT]


 
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