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“我控诉”两个版本的选择 (Translating the words of Emile Zola)
Thread poster: chance (X)

pkchan  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 23:37
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English to Chinese
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一起對照 Oct 17, 2006

"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul. Let them dare, then, to bring me before a court of law and let the e
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"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul. Let them dare, then, to bring me before a court of law and let the enquiry take place in broad daylight! I am waiting.

我只有一个热望: 以受尽痛苦、有权享受幸福的人类的名义, 让那些被黑暗蒙蔽的人看到光明 ......

我只有一個目的:以人類的名義讓陽光普照在飽受折磨的人身上,人們有權享有幸福。

我只有一个目的,以人类的名义,让阳光普照在备受折磨者身上,人们有权得到幸福。


[Edited at 2006-10-17 15:49]
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wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:37
Chinese to English
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Let's see what others think Oct 17, 2006

chance wrote:

仅供想了解法语原文的同僚参考,以便继续讨论:

Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur.

我只有一个热望,追求光明的热望,以那些受尽痛苦、有权享受幸福的人类名义, 热望追求光明 。

按我的看法,英文版加多了一点儿。



chance,

In my opinion, definitely go with your own translation. The English translation may have added some words that weren't there, but it captured the essence of his original speech, as evidenced by your own translation.

I think the 2 translations you found on the web were inadequate. My suggestion is to go with what you have.


 

chance (X)
French to Chinese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
你这一建议有挑战性,原有的两个中文版很可能是名人译的,呵呵 Oct 17, 2006

我就等其他同僚的建议了,综合来个PROZ中文论坛版吧。

我得在明天交稿,如果有好的建议,请大家及时提出。

非常感谢PKCHAN,WHERESTIP和BETTY的意见。

wherestip wrote:

I think the 2 translations you found on the web were inadequate. My suggestion is to go with what you have.


 

wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:37
Chinese to English
+ ...
语境不同 Oct 17, 2006

wherestip wrote:

I think the 2 translations you found on the web were inadequate.



我之所以这样说, 是因为网上两版似乎有一种救世主说大话的口吻, 什么阳光普照, etc. 你自己的翻译和英文版的翻译则是有追求光明、追求真理的含义. The feel is very different.



[Edited at 2006-10-17 20:22]


 

chance (X)
French to Chinese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
原来如此,感谢说明,我还真没体会到你那个深度呢! Oct 17, 2006

wherestip wrote:

wherestip wrote:

I think the 2 translations you found on the web were inadequate.



我之所以这样说, 是因为网上两版似乎有施恩者的口气, 什么阳光普照, etc. 你自己的翻译和英文版的翻译则是有追求光明、追求真理的含义. The feel is very different.



 

wherestip  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:37
Chinese to English
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再一点 Oct 17, 2006



I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul. Let them dare, then, to bring me before a court of law and let the enquiry take place in broad daylight! I am waiting.



Plus the added context posted by pk also gives some clues as to the circumstances of Zola's speech. Obviously he was someone who was being persecuted for his ideology and beliefs. 阳光普照离题很远



[Edited at 2006-10-17 20:25]


 

pkchan  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 23:37
Member (2006)
English to Chinese
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取其意或許會是﹕ Oct 17, 2006

我唯一的喝望就是﹕讓生活在黑暗的人得著啟發;讓苦難的眾生享有幸福。

 

Angus Woo
Local time: 12:37
Chinese to English
+ ...
我也提個建議 Oct 17, 2006

"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul. Let them dare, then, to bring me before a court of law and let the e
... See more
"Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur", (Emile Zola, extrait de 'J'accuse', lettre ouverte parue le 13 janvier 1898 dans "l'Aurore").

I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul. Let them dare, then, to bring me before a court of law and let the enquiry take place in broad daylight! I am waiting.

我熱愛的只有一樣東西:那就是以全人類之名, 為那些被黑暗所蒙蔽的人們帶來光明. 因為人類已經遭受過如此多的苦難, 並有權得到幸福.

個人認為不需要保持原文的句子結構, 可以分開兩個句子來處理. 只是個人意見, 供參考.
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Shaun Yeo  Identity Verified
Local time: 12:37
English to Chinese
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仅供拍砖:-) Oct 18, 2006

Chance,
pkchan wrote:
I have but one passion: to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark, in the name of humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness. My fiery protest is simply the cry of my very soul. Let them dare, then, to bring me before a court of law and let the enquiry take place in broad daylight! I am waiting.


[Edited at 2006-10-17 15:49]

我唯一热衷的,就是为了人类,为了原该享有幸福但却饱受折磨的人类,而启迪备受蒙蔽者。

Chance,我不懂法文,只能从英文着手。你要拍砖头就专挑大的拍吧,别因为我“帅”而手下留情


 

ysun  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:37
English to Chinese
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人帅,文字也帅 Oct 18, 2006

Shaun Yeo wrote:
我唯一热衷的,就是为了人类,为了原该享有幸福但却饱受折磨的人类,而启迪备受蒙蔽者。

Chance,我不懂法文,只能从英文着手。你要拍砖头就专挑大的拍吧,别因为我“帅”而手下留情



我是“法盲”,本无发言权,但根据对英文的理解,投上一票。;)


 

Shaun Yeo  Identity Verified
Local time: 12:37
English to Chinese
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连Yueyin大哥也…… Oct 18, 2006

Yueyin Sun wrote:
人帅,文字也帅

哎呀,连Yueyin大哥也来取笑我了。我“不来了”……

Yueyin Sun wrote:
我是“法盲”,本无发言权,但根据对英文的理解,投上一票。;)

感谢!


 

Chinoise  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:37
English to Chinese
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诸位,既然有chance 撑腰,那俺就“知法犯法”一回:-) Oct 18, 2006

若直译的话,英文应该是:

I have but one passion, the passion for (the) light, in the name of (the) humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness.


所谓的“to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark”俺在原文中压根儿没找着啊!

chance wrote:
按我的看法,英文版加多了一点儿。


 

Xiaoping Fu  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 20:37
Chinese to English
+ ...
掺和掺和 Oct 18, 2006

chance wrote:

仅供想了解法语原文的同僚参考,以便继续讨论:

Je n'ai qu'une passion, celle de la lumière, au nom de l'humanité qui a tant souffert et qui a droit au bonheur.

我只有一个热望,追求光明的热望,以那些受尽痛苦、有权享受幸福的人类名义, 热望追求光明 。

按我的看法,英文版加多了一点儿。


[Edited at 2006-10-17 15:47]


我喜欢你的译文。不过,可不可以删去“那些”二字?从中文的文法讲,“那些……人类”有些生硬。另外,“热望”出现了三次,稍嫌重复。我不懂法文,猜想“l'humanité ”大概兼有人类和作为人类的个人的含义。英文版句子结构之所以有较大的出入,大概也是为了处理人类和人类个体的关系,才把“l'humanité ”拆为“humanity”和“those 〔people〕”,可谓用心良苦。可不可以借鉴英文版的处理方式改为:

我只有一个热望:以人的名义,以受尽痛苦、有权享受幸福的人的名义, 热望追求光明 。

“以人的名义”,这个“人”是类;“以受尽痛苦、有权享受幸福的人的名义”,这个“人”是作为人的个体。



[Edited at 2006-10-18 02:44]


 

Shaun Yeo  Identity Verified
Local time: 12:37
English to Chinese
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配合Chinoise的英译(英明的翻译) Oct 18, 2006

Chinoise wrote:
若直译的话,英文应该是:
I have but one passion, the passion for (the) light, in the name of (the) humanity which has suffered so much and is entitled to happiness.
所谓的“to enlighten those who have been kept in the dark”俺在原文中压根儿没找着啊!

配合Chinoise的英译(英明的翻译),我作了如下修改:
我唯一热衷的就是追求光明,为原该享有幸福但却饱受折磨的人类而热烈追求光明。


 

Chinoise  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:37
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Chère chance: Maintenant, Je n'ai qu'une passion...:-) Oct 18, 2006

“恳请您”使用以下译文作为正规版本:

Shaun Yeo wrote:

我唯一热衷的就是追求光明,为原该享有幸福但却饱受折磨的人类而热烈追求光明。



 
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