Off topic: Insane spam/scam attempts
Thread poster: José Henrique Lamensdorf

José Henrique Lamensdorf  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 11:40
English to Portuguese
+ ...
Jun 6, 2012

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All of us get our share of spam with attempted scams. Some are pretty standard, apart from the pervasive introduction to the tune of My name is Attorney Professor Dr. Yitzal Krepp...", an absurdly lame attempt to gain respect.

Yet now and then we get a special one. The entire story is so insanely concocted, that we wonder what kind of mental condition a human being should be in to write such things.

Today I was bulk-deleting the spam gathered from the e-mail address published on my web site. As the program must stop at some message to delete a bunch of them, this one caught my eye.

Subject: GOOD MORNING I AM DIPLOMATIC TERRY JOHN
From: Mr. Ahmed Al Kharusi
Reply to: terryjohn493 @ ... .com.de

GOOD MORNING I AM DIPLOMATIC TERRY JOHN,

REMEMBER TO CHANGE YOUR EMAIL PASSWORD BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN LONG I AM SENDING YOU AN EMAIL BUT NO RESPOND SO I HOPE SOME ONE HOLDS YOUR PASSWORD ID EMAIL, TRY CHANGE IT IMMEDIATELY BEFORE RESPONDING FOR THIS MESSAGE,

HOW IS EVERYTHING AND YOUR FAMILY IS NOW OVER TWO DAYS THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH U.S.A CUSTOMS WHERE I WAS ARRESTED THAT I DO NOT HAVE A DELIVERY CLEARANCE PAPER AT MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL AIR PORT (MLB) FLORIDA U.S.A BUT I THANK GOD THAT THEY HAVE RELEASED ME TODAY WITH YOUR PACKAGE WORTH THE SUM OF $4.8MILLION U.S.A DORLLARS BUT THEY NEVER KNOW THAT IT CONTENTS LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY.

SO IT IS THIS MORNING THAT THEY RELEASED ME WITH YOUR FUNDS. YOU ADVICE TO RECONFIRM TO ME YOUR DETAILS YOU KNOW I LOST THEM DURING WHEN I WAS DRAGING YOUR PACKAGE WITH SOME IMMIGRATION OFFICER HERE.

PLEASE KINDLY CALL MY BOSS WITH THIS NUMBER AND LET HIM KNOW THAT CUSTOM OFFICERS HOLD ME HERE.+229 99012812, AND AGAIN YOU HAVE TO PAY THE SUM OF $99.00 FOR BILL OF LANDING PAPERS THEY SAID THAT IF I DID NOT HAVE IT THAT I WILL NOT ENTER FLIGHT TO YOUR HOME OR TAXI SO SEND THE FEES TO BENIN REPUBLIC WHERE I CAME FROM THEY WILL GET THE BILL OF LANDING PAPERS ASAP AND FORWARD TO ME HERE AND IT WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN 2 HRS I WILL GET TO YOUR HOME ONCE YOU SEND THE FEES.

HERE IS THE INFORMATION TO SEND IT.
RECEIVERS NAME.........HYCENT OBALIM
COUNTRY...........BENIN REPUBLIC.
CITY.........COTONOU.
AMOUNT........$99.00
TEXT Q..........HOW LONG.
ANSWER.......FEW HRS ARRIVAL.
SENDERS NAME.....
MTCN........

PLEASE IT IS THIS MORNING THAT THEY HAVE RELEASED ME AND I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE ANY MORE LONG HERE AND I WILL DELIVER YOUR FUNDS IN 2 HRS TIME ONCE YOU SEND THE FEES TO THE MAN IN CHARGE. DO THAT FAST SO THAT THEY CAN NOT LOOK OVER THIS PACKAGE TO KNOW THE CONTENTS.
THANKS DIPLOMATIC TERRY JOHN,


Apart from the number of characters (Ahmed, Terry, Hycent), what struck me as unusual in this case was the potentially large number of questions that would have to be asked here to ascertain what is or was supposedly taking place, and where.

I just imagine if such a person were arrested at the local airport here, and I were called to interpret when the police were about to interrogate him. If I did my job properly, he might be released, while I could be sent to a mental institution!


 

Usch Pilz
Local time: 14:40
English to German
+ ...
Further reading: Jun 6, 2012

A T Nwaubani: I do not come to you by chance.

A lovely little book about Nigerian scam 'artists'. Enjoy!

[Edited at 2012-06-06 19:11 GMT]


 

Marjolein Snippe  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 14:40
Member (2012)
English to Dutch
+ ...
A real beauty! Jun 7, 2012

Quite a bit of work has gone into this one!
Have you claimed your 4.8 million dollar yet? (minus the 99 landing fee, of course)


 

Nani Delgado  Identity Verified
Germany
German to Spanish
*LOL* Jun 7, 2012

Why doesn´t he just open the bag to get the $99?

Thanks for sharing this, José!


 

José Henrique Lamensdorf  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 11:40
English to Portuguese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
That's the beauty in this one Jun 7, 2012

I said this one was a masteripece of insanity.

Any sensible question will lead to an insane answer.

Nani Delgado wrote:
Why doesn´t he just open the bag to get the $99?


ANSWER: Because he (supposedly "Diplomatic Terry John") doesn't need $99, he has almost $5MM in his hands. The $99 must be sent to Hycent, in Benin.


Conversely, an insane question is likely to lead to a plausible answer. For instance...
Can I send the $99 to Ahmed instead?


ANSWER: No. Prince Ahmed's notebook, containing all his passwords, was stolen by Terry John in the Melbourne airport. That's how Terry John withdrew the $4.8MM from Ahmed's bank account, and why Terry used Ahmed's e-mail account in Germany (com.de) to send this message.

A clever writer could build an entire adventure around this message.


 

George Hopkins
Local time: 14:40
Swedish to English
Sad Jun 7, 2012

The sad thing is that someone now and then responds to this sort of confidence trick and that is all that is needed to fool that someone into believing there is pie in the sky.

I have an elderly acquaintance who is convinced that she has an inherited fortune waiting for her in the U.S.A. She emails and telephones regularly and although I have explained that nobody, simply nobody, is interested in filling her pockets with money she doesn't really listen.
If there is actually so much money there then get a good lawyer.

There's one born every minute waiting to be conned.


 

José Henrique Lamensdorf  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 11:40
English to Portuguese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Today's catch Jun 22, 2012

A nondescript name @ something, and this is all of it:
Dear Account Owner,

Your mailbox have exceed 3.5 MB set by the administrator, you will not be able to send or receive mail except you revalidates your account now, CLICK HERE and complete the required details and click on finish button.

Thanks
System Administrator.


Questions:

  • A 3.5 megabytes mailbox? It would choke with spam in a couple of hours!
  • The administrator signs the message and refers to him/herself as a third party. Would it be Julius Caesar?
  • Verb usage & general wording sounds like a 1¢/word human translator, not a sysop.
  • How would completing details expand a mailbox slighly larger than two floppy disks?
  • Since when a full mailbox can't SEND mail?


A 10-yo child can do better than this.


 

Jennifer Forbes  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:40
Member (2006)
French to English
+ ...
A ripping yarn ... Jun 22, 2012

José Henrique Lamensdorf wrote:

I said this one was a masteripece of insanity.

Any sensible question will lead to an insane answer.

Nani Delgado wrote:
Why doesn´t he just open the bag to get the $99?


ANSWER: Because he (supposedly "Diplomatic Terry John") doesn't need $99, he has almost $5MM in his hands. The $99 must be sent to Hycent, in Benin.


Conversely, an insane question is likely to lead to a plausible answer. For instance...
Can I send the $99 to Ahmed instead?


ANSWER: No. Prince Ahmed's notebook, containing all his passwords, was stolen by Terry John in the Melbourne airport. That's how Terry John withdrew the $4.8MM from Ahmed's bank account, and why Terry used Ahmed's e-mail account in Germany (com.de) to send this message.

A clever writer could build an entire adventure around this message.

Indeed, José Henrique, Jeffrey Archer, Robert Harris or, perhaps better, Frederick Forsyth should get on to it right away.
☺ Jenny




 

José Henrique Lamensdorf  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 11:40
English to Portuguese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
They raised the ante! Jun 26, 2012

Just as insane, however with some variations.

I try to envision the bureaucrats "very much pleased with the papers I presented".


I am DIPLOMATIC MR WILFRED WHITE I have been trying to reach you on your telephone about an hour now just to inform you about my successful arrival at John F K International Airport, (US) with your two boxes of consignment worth $10.5million usa dollars which I have been instructed by ECOWAS DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICE to deliver to you. The Airport authority demanded for all the legal back up to prove to them that the fund is no way related with drug nor fraud money.

I have presented all the papers to them and they are very much pleased with the papers I presented but the only thing that is still keeping me here is the airport delivery Tag which is not placed on the boxes, one of the Airport Authority has advised that we get the delivery tag so that I can exit the airport immediately and make my delivery successfully .I tried to reason with them and they stated the delivery tag will cost us just $108 Dollars only to get the two tags placed on the boxes as that tag will enable me get to your house successfully without any interference, they scanned the boxes and found out that the fund is 100 % spend able and accepted by any bank in the whole world.

as I cannot afford to spend more time here due to other delivery I have to take care of in Bank ok. Here are the papers backing the funds together with my ID CARD as I can accompany you to your bank were you will deposit the fund successfully with these papers. I have more vital paper with me but I can only present you the hard copy when I reach your house as that it is the diplomatic rules, such as authorization to deliver.

Reconfirm the following information below so that i can deliver your consignment boxes to you today.
NAME: ====================
ADDRESS: =====================
MOBILE NO.:=======================
NAME OF YOUR NEAREST AIRPORT:================
A COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION: ==================

You can direct the tag fee to our Head Office in Benin Republic UPS as they will get the tags there for you and they are entitled to receive and make any payment to foreign countries authority. DIPLOMATIC MR WILFRED WHITE Here is my cell phone to contact me. (+ 1 315 308 5351) So you have to contact me with this email address (diplomaticwilfred@gmail.com)

RCEIVER NAME....MR Obala T. Mike,
COUNTRY .......... BENIN REPUBLIC
CITY ....................... COTONOU
TEXT QUESTION........ WHEN
TEXT ANSWERE........ TODAY
AMOUNT..................$108 USD
SENDER NAME
MTCN

after sending the payment to Our Head Office in Benin Republic UPS email me the payment information such as mtcn number also senders name text question and answer to enable me reach them with the payment details so they can get the tags obtained and Fax it to me one hand so i can make my next step to your address today due to the Yellow Tags of the boxes is my only delay now.

(Here Is Your Package Unlocking CODE (AWB33XZS) Urgent Response is needed because here is very busy and hot Email meicon_frown.gifdiplomaticwilfred@gmail.com)

Regard
DIPLOMATIC MR WILFRED WHITE


 

Attila Piróth  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 14:40
Member
English to Hungarian
+ ...
Fit-for-purpose lousiness Jun 27, 2012

José Henrique Lamensdorf wrote:

Questions:

  • A 3.5 megabytes mailbox? It would choke with spam in a couple of hours!
  • The administrator signs the message and refers to him/herself as a third party. Would it be Julius Caesar?
  • Verb usage & general wording sounds like a 1¢/word human translator, not a sysop.
  • How would completing details expand a mailbox slighly larger than two floppy disks?
  • Since when a full mailbox can't SEND mail?


A 10-yo child can do better than this.


True, it is very easy to write a scam mail that is more plausible / less transparent. But would that be a more efficient strategy for the scammer?

A more plausible email would possibly lead to more replies - and more questions. Hence, more time spent by the scammer. And only the most gullible would walk all the way to the trap - who are quite likely to be the ones not warned off by completely unrealistic details in this message.

To maximize the return on invested time for the scammer, the potential candidates are first screened by a filter, a ridiculously transparent trap. Here is a very interesting article on such scams: Why do Nigerian Scammers Say They are from Nigeria?

Best,
Attila


 

José Henrique Lamensdorf  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 11:40
English to Portuguese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Today's harvest: more material for thriller writers Jun 29, 2012


Assunto Dear, How are you doing today?
Remetente Dr. Cavin
Resp. para XXX @ yahoo.cn
Data Qui 19:22
How are you doing today, it is unfortunately that I am contacting you through this means which seems uncomfortable but I choose to contact you through this means because it is the only means I can lay out such information without anybody noticing. Do not be scared or nurse any pessimistic idea because this is for our mutual benefit.
My name is Dr. Cavin Thompson, 54 year old medical doctor from The United States, I am the personal and family doctor to the Syrian President "Bashar al-Assad", I have been their family doctor for over ten years but Since this crises started, I have been placed under a house arrest by President Bashar al-Assad because he used my name to deposit the sum of US$85,000,000.00 ( Eighty Five Million Dollars) in a private security firm in Dubai after his family fund, properties and accounts were confiscated by the international community and United Nation government, so he thought using my name as an American to register the fund in a private security company in Dubai will be the best, so that after the whole crises, him and his family will have something to fall on. But with the recent happening after my wife was murdered here three days ago by unknown gun men, I have made up my mind to get the hell out of this hell hole but it is unfortunate that President Bashar al-Assad will never allow me to go just like that
please get back to me ASAP. for details on how it can be done legally without any risk.
note that this is a private matter and it will be noble that you keep it very private as top secret.
waiting to hearing from you ASAP
Dr. Cavin Thompson
Write me back with this email: YYY @ gmail.com


"get the hell out of this hell hole" makes great literature.

Maybe 'Cavin' wears "Cavin Kein" apparel, a possible 'neologism' in DE for nudity!icon_biggrin.gif


 

PAS  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:40
English to Polish
+ ...
Obama's Jul 2, 2012

I may have shared this here a long time ago. I still believe this one takes the cake.
"Have you ever been scammed? Would you like to try again?"



Greetings to you,

SCAMMED VICTIM/ $500,000 BENEFICIARIES.
REF/PAYMENTS CODE: ECB/06654 $500,000 USD.

On behalf of the Obama's Foundation and UNITED NATIONS, we wish to notify
you as a beneficiary of $500,000 USD in compensation of scam
victims.This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the
Obama's Foundation and UNITED NATIONS in Central Bank to pay 150 victims
of scam $500,000 USD (Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) each. You are listed
and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid
this amount.
According to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries has
been paid, over a half of the victims are from the United States, we
still have a pending of 36 compensations left to be paid. Your
particulars was mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as
one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to
communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason what so
ever as the U.S. secret service is already on trace of the other
criminals. So keep it secret till they are all apprehended. Other
victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as
well for scrutiny and possible consideration
Do contact HSBC INTERNATIONAL BANK, United Kingdom Branch for
verification and release of your $500,000 USD that we have deposited
with the HSBC BANK,UK.
The account log on will be presented to you by the bank in order to
access the funds before releasing into your nominated bank account.
You will transfer the funds into your nominated account on-line as the
HSBC BANK,UK will provide the necessary information to you. Please if you
are willing to accept the funds, do contact the Managing Director of the
HSBC BANK,UK with the following details:
You are to fill the appropriate form and submit to the bank.
[1] Full Names:________________
[2] Contact address______________________________
[3] Direct Telephone No: ___________________
|4| Occupation : ____________________________

Managing Director of the HSBC BANK,UK
Name: Mrs. Joan Cole
Private Email:mrsjoancole112@gmail.com
Telephone:+447766822807

Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Caravan Marvis
Coordinator.
OBAMA'S FOUNDATION AND UNITED NATIONS© 2010

[Edited at 2012-07-02 08:07 GMT]


 

José Henrique Lamensdorf  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 11:40
English to Portuguese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Today's harvest Jul 20, 2012

Hello,
It gives me a great deal of pleasure to write you this mail and even when
it might come to you as a surprise. I hope you find it of interest.

My name is Allen Lloyds. I am an Auditor with a Bank here in Europe. I
would like to use this means to ask your assistance in moving some funds
over to your country.

I have in the course of my duties come in contact with some funds that
have been inactive for some years now and careful investigation proved the
original depositor of the funds died five years ago.

All attempts to reach the supposed beneficiary of the deposit were
fruitless and before it is forfeited to the state, I will like to move it
outside now and this is were I need your assistance.

I look forward to hearing from you and my gratitude for your patience
Respectfully yours
Allen Lloyds.


"Auditor with a Bank here in Europe" and the guy's surname is Lloyds. Did he want me to infer that his dad owns it?

What kind of a freak derives such a "great deal of pleasure" from writing an e-mail to an unknown person on the other side of the world? (his address was Yahoo China).

I wonder what careful investigation proved the depositor was dead. Did it involve exhuming the body and getting a physician to examine it for possible resuscitation?

And then, after the depositor was proven dead, "all attempts to reach the supposed beneficiary of the deposit were fruitless". Did they hire psychics too?

Finally, he was grateful for my patience, while he had a great deal of pleasure. Now he is looking forward to hear from me to have more pleasure?

Insanity abounds.


 

Cristina Fernández  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 14:40
Member (2008)
English to Spanish
+ ...
Not everybody can identify a scammer, no matter how absurd the story is... Jul 22, 2012

Most of us are familiar and can easily identify a scammer, but what is really sad is that some people (elderly, uneducated people...) are convinced that they will receive an amount of money and cannot see the fraud.

Some years ago, an acquaintance of mine was convinced that a Nigerian minister was interested in purchasing the hosuse he had posted in internet some weeks before. When he contacted me and told me the great business he was doing, he told me that he had already sent a copy of his mother´s identity card (the house belonged to his mother). He contacted me because he hardly spoke English and wanted me to call this minister and confirm price, payment method, etc. When I warned him about the scammer, he did not want to believe it. I asked him why he thought a prime minister in Nigeria would be interested in an old house in Spain in the middle of nowhere, and pay double of the price, it was absurd. He answered that maybe this was a case of money whitewashing, something common among ministers. He needed the money and did not want to know the reasons of that Nigerian minister purchasing his mother´s house. Everything was absurd, but the most absurd thing was this person was a policeman! I´ve always thought that policemen had a special ability identifying fraude!!!!
I told him that sooner or later this person would ask him for money. Some days later, he told me that he had asked him for money, that I was right...



[Editado a las 2012-07-22 00:55 GMT]


 


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