Could you please give me some advice about my profile?
Thread poster: Han Li
Han Li  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 09:09
English to Chinese
+ ...
Dec 15, 2005

Hello everyone,
I am a English-Chinese translator and have work experience in hospital.I have became a Proz member since Sep. 2005.
I hope you give me some advice about my profile. If you were a potential client, what is your impression about my Profile at first glance? Could you get the information you need?

Thank you very much!

Best regards,
Han Li


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Lawyer-Linguist  Identity Verified
Portugal
Local time: 01:09
Dutch to English
+ ...
Feedback as requested .... Dec 15, 2005

Han Li wrote:

Hello everyone,
I am a English-Chinese translator and have work experience in hospital.I have became a Proz member since Sep. 2005.
I hope you give me some advice about my profile. If you were a potential client, what is your impression about my Profile at first glance? Could you get the information you need?

Thank you very much!

Best regards,
Han Li


I'd say the profile is quite informative but would suggest the following:

1. Have the profile page edited by a native English speaker as there are quite a number of errors.

2. Change the yellow font as it's almost impossible to read against the beige background.

3. Change the bullet-type in your itemized lists - looks like the ones you choose didn't work properly.

Hope this helps
D


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Han Li  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 09:09
English to Chinese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Thank you very much! Dec 15, 2005

Deborah do Carmo wrote:
I'd say the profile is quite informative but would suggest the following:

1. Have the profile page edited by a native English speaker as there are quite a number of errors.

2. Change the yellow font as it's almost impossible to read against the beige background.

3. Change the bullet-type in your itemized lists - looks like the ones you choose didn't work properly.

Hope this helps
D

Thank you for your feedback!
I have changed my profile as you said. But I can not find the errors, I am not a native English speaker.
Could everyone please point out the errors for me?
Thank you for your generous assistance!

Best regards,
Han Li


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Lawyer-Linguist  Identity Verified
Portugal
Local time: 01:09
Dutch to English
+ ...
Idea....... Dec 15, 2005

If I were you, I'd ask directly on the Chinese forum (aimed at someone who translates Chinese to English, as a native English speaker) if they'd be prepared to edit your profile (working from a Chinese source text, if you have or can provide one, as some of your phrasing can be best sorted out that way) - you could in return offer to provide them with a short abstract of their profile in Chinese.

Hope you come right
D

[Edited at 2005-12-15 14:38]


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Han Li  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 09:09
English to Chinese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Thank you again! Dec 15, 2005

Deborah do Carmo wrote:

If I were you, I'd ask directly on the Chinese forum (aimed at someone who translates Chinese to English, as a native English speaker) if they'd be prepared to edit your profile (working from a Chinese source text, if you have or can provide one, as some of your phrasing can be best sorted out that way) - you could in return offer to provide them with a short abstract of their profile in Chinese.

Hope you come right

I would ask a Chinese-English translator for help. I did not think that before you said this.
Thanks.

Best regards,
Han Li


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Jo Macdonald  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 02:09
Member (2005)
Italian to English
+ ...
Constructive criticism Dec 15, 2005

Yo Han,
Here goes, few suggestions.

Pharmaceutist,Medicinal Boffin & Trans
Missing a space

There are several examples of things like that, which aren’t good at all. That’s just really messy, and I don’t want my nice neat original doc sent back like that. If I had work to do, and money to spend, and was checking out professional translators, I’d just move on after seeing that. Sort it, like NOW with a simple Word spell check in English.

Also definitely get the lot proofread by an English pro for things like
in the follow fields – in the following fields
IT IS FREE FOR REGISTER – IT’S FREE TO REGISTER



MAYBE YOU NEED A USERNAME
Find out, I have money to spend on a translation, not time to spend seeing if your link works when you’re not logged in (it doesn’t btw), and/or registering on another site.
You could just leave MY PORTFOLIO or say something like, “You can see more of my work HERE after a simple registration procedure.

Expertise: multiple
Medical and scientific is better imo


SEARCH to find,
drop “to find” and the comma

You could do with some more kudos maybe

Add your keywords in Chinese too perhaps

Your low rate is really low imo and doesn’t make me feel confident of the quality of the services offered.
Lot of competition you say? Hey, China is a big market for the west right? You have excellent qualifications and are offering specialised services.
Go gettum.


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Derek Gill Franßen  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 02:09
German to English
+ ...
What he said... Dec 15, 2005

I can only agree with what Jo said (all of it). I'm pretty busy right now, so please forgive me for only concentrating on one section in particular:

Translation Experiences
The follows is my translation work as a freelance translator since 1999.
¡¨¬Have translated 300,000 words about general English article (English-Chinese translation).
¡¨¬Have translated 100,000 words about professionally medical paper (English-Chinese translation).
¡¨¬Have translated 45,000 words about some drug registration document for SFDA(English-Chinese translation)
¡¨¬Have translated 20,000 words about instructions of some medicine (English-Chinese translation).
¡¨¬Have translated 8,000 words about mechanisms (English-Chinese translation).


I would make the following changes:

Translation experience

The following is an overview of the translation work I have completed as a freelancer since 1999:

- Article on ??? (300,000 words);
- Professional medical paper on ??? (100,000 words);
- Report on drug registration for the SFDA (45,000 words);
- Instructions on medicine for ??? (20,000 words);
- ??? on ???-mechanisms (8,000 words).


You and I have experience in translating; others have out-of-body experiences - let's keep it that way. And if you're trying to appeal to British customers, don't capitalize the second word (Americans won't take offense either, so you may consider making it a habit not to capitalize the words in a heading except for the first one).

Some will probably find "freelancer" too informal, but I think it is fine. You could also use "freelance translator."

While I'm on the subject of informality, the word "some" - as used in "some document" or "some medicine" - is much too vague and simply unacceptable in this context. Be definite.

I suppose it is not incorrect to end each of these lines with a period, but I would use a colon, then semi-colons and end the last line with a period.

I also think that most people will be able to tell that all of this work was translation work; you do say that up above. You don't have to mention it more than once. It just clutters up your profile.

Note that I wasn't sure if "¡¨¬Have" was supposed to be "I have," but the capital "H" tells me otherwise - keep it simple. Either write "I have" or leave it off completely (my suggestion).

I also removed "(English-Chinese translation)." That is already obvious, and thus superfluous, because apparently you only translate in that direction anyway (a smart move in my opinion).

Also note that I put the most important information, i.e. the topics of your translations, at the beginning of each line (in case the reader is just skimming over your profile); it's quality, not quantity that counts.

I wouldn't necessarily emphasize "general English," unless the article you mention was about that subject, i.e. a linguistic article on general English usage or something similar.

There is, however, information missing everywhere where I put question marks. The last line is almost completely illegible: What was it? A report? Or an article? Or something different? And what kind of machanisms was the translation about (there are many different kinds)? You'll need to fill in the missing information. You don't have to go so far as to name the exact brand of medicine, for example, but you should at least say what kind of medicine it dealt with, i.e. pain medication, antibiotics, etc.

Good luck!

[Edited at 2005-12-15 20:32]


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Han Li  Identity Verified
China
Local time: 09:09
English to Chinese
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Thank you very much! Dec 16, 2005

Thanks, Deborah do Carmo, Jo Macdonald and Derek Gill Franßen.
Thank you for your good advice and releasing time for my Profile. I have changed my profile as you said. Today I have learned more things than that I learned from book!
I express my heartfelt gratitude to you!

Best regards,
Han Li


[Edited at 2005-12-16 10:32]


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