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Giving thanks to agree-ers - why?
Thread poster: Melissa McMahon

Melissa McMahon  Identity Verified
Australia
Local time: 15:58
Member (2006)
French to English
Jun 28, 2007

I often see answerers respond with "thanks" to colleagues who post agreement with their answers - and am often thanked myself for posting agreement.

For reasons I'm trying to work out this makes me uncomfortable and I'd be interested if anyone else has had these thoughts or if it's just some weird ancestral Anglo-British squeamishness in me... or Australian...

It is obviously good manners and sense for askers to thank answerers, who have made an effort to respond to a request for help.

But if I agree with a suggested answer, it's not because I want to 'help' the answerer, but because I think the answer is correct. If I am trying to help anyone in agreeing with an answer, it is again the asker, not the answerer.

I don't thank those who agree with me because I don't take agreement to be any personal form of support, like a popularity contest, but assume - and hope! - agree-ers agree for entirely independent and impersonal reasons - the more independent and impersonal, the better for everyone, because the strength of Kudoz is the convergence of opinions coming from entirely different spheres... and it does make me uncomfortable to be thanked for agreeing, because I feel the implication is that I agreed have been 'nice' to the answerer instead of making an objective call.

Then I think: you are an insane philosophy graduate who is WAY overthinking this.

I guess in the end I just worry - as a relative newcomer - that in not thanking agree-ers I come across as bad mannered, that I am breaching a shared community etiquette whose reasons I haven't learned yet.

Thoughts?

Melissa


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Nesrin  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:58
English to Arabic
+ ...
Agree Jun 28, 2007

I'm pretty sure this has been discussed (at least) once before, with opinions divided down the middle.
But I do agree with you for all the reasons you mentioned. I too don't give thanks (and sometimes worry that this may be misconstrued as a bit rude). Only sometimes when I receive a comment like "wow what a fantastic answer!" or something like that I feel that does deserve a thank you, just like in real life when you receive a compliment.


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Spencer Allman
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:58
Finnish to English
Agree Jun 28, 2007

I basically agree with you though I am aware I may come across as miserable old XXX.

I am hyprocritical about this. I do not thank people who agree with me but am happy when someone thanks me for the same thing.


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Nicole Schnell  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 21:58
English to German
+ ...
It's nice and polite. Jun 28, 2007

Agree-ers don't try to help and support you, they just nod in agreement and "applaud" your suggestion, often accompanied by a nice remark or even a suggestion to improve the answer. What's wrong with saying thanks?

Again, it's optional.

BTW, this little exchange of niceness-es is an excellent tool to start an incredible network with other colleagues. You learn which colleagues think alike, which may result in lively collaboration and exchange of projects. Another strength of KudoZ.

Best,

Nicole


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Margreet Logmans  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 06:58
English to Dutch
+ ...
My reasons Jun 28, 2007

Hi Melissa,

I do thank those that agree to an answer I've suggested.
It makes me feel good to see that other people (many times those for whom I have deep respect) take the time and effort to confirm my ideas, especially when I'm not very confident about it myself. I consider it to be 'feedback'.

Maybe they do not intend to do me a favour, but I do appreciate it as such. Especially when they add notes or explanations to my original answer. That - to me - is a learning opportunity that merits a thank you.

When I give an 'agree' myself to somebody's answer, I don't mind if I don't get thanked. I usually give an agree because I am either enthusiastic about a particular answer or want to help the asker make a choice out of all the answers given.

This whole business of 'agrees' doesn't have a lot to do with good manners, I think. It's much more important how you deal with the system as a whole - contribute and take part in it, or just (ab)use it as you like without really thinking about reciprocity.

Sometimes when I see somebody else's answer and it is much better than mine, I wonder if I should say thank you, because I do not agree with the agrees - but that is a completely different subject!

Best,
Margreet


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ICL  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 06:58
English to Spanish
+ ...
For taking the time to agree... Jun 28, 2007

Hi Melissa:

I think the main reason could be, besides all the reasons you have already mentioned, that you thank agreers for taking the time (and little bit of effort) to click the "Agree" button to support your answer because they also think it is correct.

Of course, the way we humans are, I am sure sometimes personal or point-related reasons may get on the way, because I believe you get brownies points whenever you agree with an answer that is finally chosen.

I started not thanking agreers at first, but I learned that it is actually a nice gesture (both for you and for the "agreed" person), so I think everybody "wins" something in the process.

But the reality is that I don't always participate so much in Kudoz, so...

Cheers,

Ivette

P.S.: it seems that while I was writing my reply Margreet was also writing hers, which coincides with mine, so sorry if mine sounds then a bit repetitious.

[Edited at 2007-06-28 12:04]


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Piotr Wargan  Identity Verified
Poland
Local time: 06:58
English to Polish
+ ...
This is just politeness, nothing more... Jun 28, 2007



Bye,
PW


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Melissa McMahon  Identity Verified
Australia
Local time: 15:58
Member (2006)
French to English
TOPIC STARTER
Thanks :) Jun 28, 2007

I didn't know how a first forum post would go, but I appreciate all of the responses. Such a vast network we're part of!

I think it's right that this is about a number of things apart from or as well as manners - one's general style and approach to the community. I think that's why I mentioned that my own feeling is a bit 'cultural' - one person's niceness may be 'lost in translation' as it were...

I give thanks for disagreement.

MM


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Christine Andersen  Identity Verified
Denmark
Local time: 06:58
Member (2003)
Danish to English
+ ...
Remove the 'send me the response' tick, too! Jun 28, 2007

I have wavered quite a bit over this, but have stopped thanking people. I also take care to remove the tick by 'send me the response, if any' when I agree with others. I do go back to any questions I am interested in, but I never track them.

Call me what you like, and of course it's polite to say thanks, but it generates unnecessary e-mails and distractions from serious work!

In fact I'm getting quite mean about agreeing, too, unless I think I have some contribution to make in a comment.

The exception is when in some cases the value of the answer seems to relate conversely with the confidence of the answerer. Some of the best translators I know are very modest people and rate their well-considered advice at 3 or 4, while others push their best guess up to 5... and I add an agree to redress the balance a bit.

But I don't thank people for agreeing with me, and I don't mean to be rude or ungrateful. Life's just too short!



[Edited at 2007-06-28 12:36]


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Margreet Logmans  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 06:58
English to Dutch
+ ...
No problem Ivette, Jun 28, 2007

I'll consider any repetitions as 'agrees' - thank you!

Margreet


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liz askew  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:58
Member (2007)
French to English
+ ...
Basic good manners Jun 28, 2007

Well, thanking somebody is just basic good manners...


I wouldn't enter into a great debate about this.


Liz Askew


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biankonera  Identity Verified
Latvia
Local time: 07:58
Italian to Latvian
+ ...
Whats wrong with saying thanks to agreers? Jun 28, 2007

Im one of those who thanks agree-ers. I dont expect to make any impression on these people or anything. I just think its an expression of good manners and positive attitude. I dont mind if somebody Ive agreed with doesnt thank me for that but I myself do that because if I wouldnt do that Id feel as if Im arrogant and rude. But thats just me

Stella


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xxxCMJ_Trans
Local time: 06:58
French to English
+ ...
I couldn't agree more..... Jun 28, 2007

[quote]Christine Andersen wrote:

"I have wavered quite a bit over this, but have stopped thanking people. I also take care to remove the tick by 'send me the response, if any' when I agree with others. I do go back to any questions I am interested in, but I never track them.

Call me what you like, and of course it's polite to say thanks, but it generates unnecessary e-mails and distractions from serious work!

In fact I'm getting quite mean about agreeing, too, unless I think I have some contribution to make in a comment.

The exception is when in some cases the value of the answer seems to relate conversely with the confidence of the answerer. Some of the best translators I know are very modest people and rate their well-considered advice at 3 or 4, while others push their best guess up to 5... and I add an agree to redress the balance a bit.

But I don't thank people for agreeing with me, and I don't mean to be rude or ungrateful. Life's just too short!"


I couldn't have put it better myself: I, too (Britishness?) feel very embarrassed when I see all those "thank yous" and really haven't the time to track everything.

May I therefore take this opportunity of offering a blanket thanks to all those who have ever agreed with one of my suggestions for whatever reason or who may ever do so again in the future......
Chris



[Edited at 2007-06-28 15:14]


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Marie-Hélène Hayles  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:58
Italian to English
+ ...
I don't thank agreers Jun 28, 2007

For all the reasons Melissa (and others) give.

The only exception is when someone has gone out of their way in a comment. for example, the other day a fellow-answerer agreed with my answer and said something like "that's much better than my suggestion". Now that did deserve a thanks - not for the "agree" but for the generous comment.


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Kim Metzger  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 23:58
German to English
I'm with you on this, Melissa, but ... Jun 28, 2007

Melissa McMahon wrote:

But if I agree with a suggested answer, it's not because I want to 'help' the answerer, but because I think the answer is correct. If I am trying to help anyone in agreeing with an answer, it is again the asker, not the answerer.

I don't thank those who agree with me because I don't take agreement to be any personal form of support, like a popularity contest, but assume - and hope! -



I feel the same way, but I know many wonderful members thank agreers simply because they want to be friendly. There are no ulterior motives; it's an entirely heartfelt gesture.

But I stopped giving thanks for "agrees" long ago because I felt too many colleagues were thanking peer agreers for the wrong reasons, i.e. for helping them win the KudoZ game rather than for supporting a well-documented and viable translation, and I simply didn't want to participate in something that could mislead the asker.



[Edited at 2007-06-28 15:56]

[Edited at 2007-06-29 04:01]


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