Off topic: Amusing...
Thread poster: PB Trans
PB Trans

Local time: 23:35
French to English
+ ...
Jan 13, 2004

Well, I found it amusing! (Sorry, I don\'t know the source) Enjoy!

For those of you who watch what you eat, here\'s the final word on
nutrition and health. It\'s a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting medical studies.

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.

3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.

4. Italians drink large amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.

5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and
suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently
what kills you.


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caramel
Local time: 00:35
German to French
+ ...
Thank you Jan 13, 2004

for the fun

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Gayle Wallimann  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:35
Member (2001)
French to English
+ ...
uh oh! Jan 13, 2004

I've been on that famous soup diet for a week, have lost 12 pounds, stopped drinking wine, but I guess I'll have to erase my English memory to survive. But then, how can I earn a living? I teach English and translate into English...Help!!

Thanks Pina, I sent it on to my friends.


[Edited at 2004-01-13 20:54]


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Will Matter  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 15:35
English
+ ...
woozy Jan 13, 2004

I was wondering why i felt woozy everytime i logged on, guess i'll stick to Japanese, instead. Thanks for the laugh

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Lucinda  Identity Verified
Local time: 20:35
Member (2002)
Dutch to English
+ ...
This one is so good! Jan 13, 2004

Dear Pina,

A while ago a friend of mine sent it to me and I liked it a lot. Thanks for the laugh.
Lucinda


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Parrot  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 00:35
Member (2002)
Spanish to English
+ ...
I had to check this out Jan 13, 2004

with the Irish.

Heart attacks seem even higher than in the US and the UK. Would that relate to having 1 Nobel Prize for literature for every million inhabitants?


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Harry Bornemann  Identity Verified
Mexico
English to German
+ ...
Surprising statistics Jan 13, 2004

Now what does it say about smoking ?

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Henry Hinds  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 16:35
English to Spanish
+ ...
Statistics are misleading... Jan 14, 2004

Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why those people are not dying from heart attacks is because they die first from some other cause?

Drink plenty of red wine, but be very careful when you cross the street afterwards.


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Uldis Liepkalns  Identity Verified
Latvia
Local time: 01:35
Member (2003)
English to Latvian
+ ...
Re: statistics are misleading Jan 14, 2004

Henry Hinds wrote:
Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why those people are not dying from heart attacks is because they die first from some other cause?


Yeah, and if you do not smoke, drink, eat fat, etc., you're quaranteed to die in a perfect health

Uldis


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Amy Duncan  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 21:35
Portuguese to English
+ ...
It's all hogwash! Jan 14, 2004

My mother-in-law ate red meat (lots of it), always had a box of chocolates next to her chair, and chain-smoked. She lived to be 100.



Amy


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 18:35
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

Moderator of this forum
Did she speak English? Jan 14, 2004

AmyD wrote:

My mother-in-law ate red meat (lots of it), always had a box of chocolates next to her chair, and chain-smoked. She lived to be 100.



Amy


My grandfather, who never spoke a word of English in his life lived to 94, eating pizza, pork sausages and poutine, drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and a pipe.
Regarding drinking beer : I once went to see him during Lent. I had given up drink for the 7 weeks. He greeted me with his usual : go get us a brew, Nancy. When I informed him of my decision to give up drink for Lent, he looked at me as if I'd expressed a desire to move to Mars. "La bière, Nancy, c'est indispensable - ça ouvre l'appétit avant le repas, ça aide la digestion après le repas - va donc nous chercher une broue." "(Beer, Nancy, is indispensable - it opens the appetite before your meal, and helps your digestion afterwards - just go get us a brew, Nancy."
N.


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Uldis Liepkalns  Identity Verified
Latvia
Local time: 01:35
Member (2003)
English to Latvian
+ ...
I can only agree with your granfather, NancyLynn, Jan 14, 2004

as I always tell people who are critical of my smoking: smoked meat holds a lot longer



[Edited at 2004-01-16 08:58]


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louisajay
Spanish to English
+ ...
Nancy Jan 15, 2004

I wondered what on earth you meant for a while there! A "brew" in UK English means a cup of tea. An interesting thought there, since the British will generally drink tea with and after a meal and my Nan always swore it helped digestion as well!

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Jeff Allen  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 00:35
Multiplelanguages
+ ...
another version of the joke on the effects of speaking English Feb 12, 2006

Pina Nunes wrote:

Well, I found it amusing!(Sorry, I don\'t know the source) Enjoy!

For those of you who watch what you eat, here\'s the final word on nutrition and health. It\'s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

3. Africans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

4. Italians drink large amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

5. Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


The version I have used for years (and I received it from someone else too years ago) is the following:

----
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
Conclusion...............
Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
----

Jeff
http://www.geocities.com/jeffallenpubs/


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