Off topic: Computer terms revisited
Thread poster: NancyLynn

NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 00:25
Member (2002)
French to English
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Moderator of this forum
Jan 27, 2004

Computer Terms

------------------------------------

486: The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.

State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer

to become obsolete.

Computer Chip: Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities

while programming.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to

generate.

Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Hard Drive: The sales technique used by most computer salesmen.

Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work

at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Power User: Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your current

software.

==============================

Computer Terms For Rednecks

------------------------------------------------

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods

Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick

Byte - What your pitbull dun to cusin Jethro

Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps

Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in

Computer Terminal - Time to call the undertaker

Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited

Digital - The art of counting on your fingers

Fax - What you lie about to the IRS

Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere

Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food

Modem - What ya do when the grass gets too high

Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live

Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line

ROM - Where the pope lives

Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch

Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year

Alternative REDNECK COMPUTER LINGO:

"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and

pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.

"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.

"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.

"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.

"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.

"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with

barnyard stuff.

"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.

"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order

to get a free case.

"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."

"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or

girlfriend.

"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed

across the porch longways."

"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.

"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.


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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 05:25
Member (2000)
Russian to English
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Computer terms illustrated Jan 27, 2004



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xxxsarahl
Local time: 21:25
English to French
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Interfaces Jan 28, 2004



[Edited at 2004-01-28 06:05]


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xxxsarahl
Local time: 21:25
English to French
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Interfaces Jan 28, 2004

Hey, Nancy!
You forgot the most defective component in any computer:
the keyboard to chair interface.


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