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Off topic: Bilingual joke - EN FR
Thread poster: veratek

veratek
Brazil
Local time: 20:49
French to English
+ ...
Jan 21, 2011

Apparently from an English newspaper:

Why did the chef take his own life?

Because he lost the huille d'olive.



(I didn't get it when I first read it... or maybe it was my beautiful accent-less French that did not give me any clues - ha! I wish... )


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Armorel Young  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:49
Member (2004)
German to English
OK, here's another one Jan 21, 2011

I love it. Has anyone ever thought of making a collection of bilingual jokes - the more obscure the better? The classic one is of course this (described on the internet as "the finest Franglais pun ever coined"):-


Miles Kington claimed that the French navy had adopted a new, uplifting slogan, to spur its seamen on to valour and glory in France’s hour of need. “To the water! The hour has come!”. Or, in French: “A l’eau. C’est l’heure!”


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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 00:49
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Order of the Garter Jan 21, 2011

Honi soit qui mal y pense? What the King said was "Honey, soie qui mal y pend-ce", meaning "Honey, your silk stocking's hanging down".

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Alison Sabedoria  Identity Verified
France
Member (2009)
French to English
+ ...
One I see regularly Jan 21, 2011

There's a roadsign in France that consists of a yellow warning triangle with a large exclamation mark and just one word: Boue

It might only mean "mud", but it gets me every time without fail.


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philgoddard
United States
Member (2009)
German to English
+ ...
Has anyone seen this? Jan 21, 2011

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mots_d'Heures

I won a copy in a competition once, but I lost it. I particularly liked the deadpan footnotes explaining what the French supposedly meant.

On a related subject, a brilliant German pun (sorry if any of the language is wrong, but I overheard this in the street in Munich and I'm doing it from memory):

Wie fährt Osama bin Laden von den Bergen hinab?
Mit der Tal-i-Bahn.


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Arianne Farah  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 19:49
Member (2008)
English to French
Old favorite Jan 22, 2011

H-I can't H-English... but I French very well!

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Susanna Garcia  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:49
Italian to English
+ ...
Egg joke Jan 22, 2011

Why don't the French eat two eggs for breakfast?

Because un oeuf is un oeuf!

Rare Welsh/French joke later.

Suzi

my partner's just pointed out that the punch line in fact is:
because one egg is un oeuf



[Edited at 2011-01-22 14:08 GMT]


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Paul Dixon  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 20:49
Portuguese to English
+ ...
From Brazil Jan 22, 2011

A French-English joke from Brazil (Source: New Routes No. 43)

"A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it to the van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

'Monsieur, this is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.'

And you thought we didn't have De Gaulle to publish this?

Well, I figure we have nothing Toulouse."


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Jessica Noyes  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 19:49
Spanish to English
+ ...
yet another Jan 22, 2011

Riddle:
Q. The answer is "9 W". What is the question?
A. Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a "V"?


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Gail Bond MITI  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 00:49
Member (2009)
French to English
Groan Jan 22, 2011

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Philippe Philoppe.


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veratek
Brazil
Local time: 20:49
French to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
too cute Jan 22, 2011

Paul Dixon wrote:

A French-English joke from Brazil (Source: New Routes No. 43)

"A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it to the van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

'Monsieur, this is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.'

And you thought we didn't have De Gaulle to publish this?

Well, I figure we have nothing Toulouse."



This one is like the hallmark of the big hotel room: sceau suite .


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Susanna Garcia  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:49
Italian to English
+ ...
Welsh-French joke Jan 22, 2011

Paul wins hands down.
Let's see if I can get the punchline right this time.

A Welshman staying in a Formule 1 in France goes to the shower room, sees there's no soap there and decides to nip to back to his room to get some, wrapping himself in his towel. Unfortunately, his towel slips leaving him naked in the corridor just as a member of housekeeping turns the corner. Embarassed, all he can do is try to cover himself and mutter "Sebon, Sebon". Impressed, the housekeeper replies "Non, Monsieur, c'est magnifique"!


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Sue Stewart-Anderson  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 00:49
Dutch to English
+ ...
Apologies in advance .. child brought it home from school! Jan 22, 2011

A French cat called "Un Deux Trois" challenges an English cat called "One Two Three" to a race across The Channel.

Which cat won?

One Two Three ... because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq!


And a German one from Giles Coren of the Times:

Warum haben die Araber kein Brot? Weil sie Kamel haben.

[Edited at 2011-01-22 20:27 GMT]


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