Off topic: A Bit of CV Fun - Have a Laugh!
Thread poster: Paul Dixon

Paul Dixon  Identity Verified
Brazil
Local time: 08:21
Portuguese to English
+ ...
Apr 21, 2011

Not translation-related but a bit of a laugh anyway! Happy Easter to all!

Why you need to use a spell checker:

I would like a job in the servillian police
I am applying for a mini-pupiledge
i am a prefectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
Proven ability to track down and correct erors.
I have good writen comunication skills.
Lurnt Word Perfect computor and spreadsheet pogroms.
Develop an annual operating expense fudget.
... See more
Not translation-related but a bit of a laugh anyway! Happy Easter to all!

Why you need to use a spell checker:

I would like a job in the servillian police
I am applying for a mini-pupiledge
i am a prefectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
Proven ability to track down and correct erors.
I have good writen comunication skills.
Lurnt Word Perfect computor and spreadsheet pogroms.
Develop an annual operating expense fudget.
Good custermer service skills.
In my 3rd year of BA houners English.

And why you must read it carefully as well:

I was a prefect and pier mentor
I would like to do a law conversion cause
Extra Circular Activities
But I was not aloud to be captain
At secondary school I was a prefix
I hope to hear from you shorty
I have a desire to work with commuters
Dear Madman (instead of Madam)
My hobbits include - instead of 'hobbies'
I am sicking and entry-level position
I have a friendly manor
Oversight of an entire department
Restaurant skills: Severing customers
In charge of sock control - instead of 'stock control'
I’m an accurate and rabid typist
Over summer I worked for an examinations bored.
Abilty to meet deadlines while maintaining my composer
Cleaning bathrooms and hovering hallways.
Have made speech's at Open Days
I can make models using a verity of different materials
Instrumental in ruining an entire operation for a chain operator
I was an administrator in a busty office.
Suspected to graduate early next year
For a PR job: I have a long term interest in pubic relations
A ' full shit system’ instead of ‘a full shift system’
Enthusiasm was needed in order to communicate information in an interesting manor.
I own and maintain a volts wagon beetle.
As indicted, I have over 5 years of analysing investments.
On an application to work with teenagers – I am experienced in teaching marital arts
My role included typing in details of accounts, customer liaison and money-laundering duties
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JH Trads  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 07:21
Member (2007)
English to French
+ ...
gargalhada gostosa ! Apr 21, 2011

obrigado

 

Evangelia Mouma  Identity Verified
Greece
Local time: 12:21
English to Greek
+ ...
prefix? Apr 21, 2011

Thanks for sharing. Hilarious. Only, what does it mean At secondary school I was a prefix?
I can't figure it out.


 

Inge Meinzer  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 04:21
Member (2008)
German to English
+ ...
Thanks Apr 21, 2011

for sharing these gems, Paul! There is nothing like a good belly laugh to get those "ciruclar activities" going before the holiday.

KR,
Inge


 

LEXpert  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 06:21
Member (2008)
Croatian to English
+ ...
Prefix/Prefect Apr 21, 2011

Evangelia Mouma wrote:

Thanks for sharing. Hilarious. Only, what does it mean At secondary school I was a prefix?
I can't figure it out.


In schools, a prefect is a student who has been given some extra, trusty-like authority over other students.


 

Evangelia Mouma  Identity Verified
Greece
Local time: 12:21
English to Greek
+ ...
Thanks! Apr 21, 2011

I don't know why, I find it so funny. Like the one I came across today, "I'm very well in English and French". I can't stop laughing.

 

Sushan Harshe
India
Local time: 16:51
English to Hindi
+ ...
A ' full shit......! Apr 22, 2011

It is really great!

Am nat gud in winglish; but still I can laaaf at this chinglish, I luv to C dis kind of stufff.

Thanks for sharing a good laughter for the morning.



Sushan


 

Andrea Piu  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 13:21
English to Italian
+ ...
Please, send us more! Apr 23, 2011

When I came across this post and started reading, I couldn't stop laughing!
Please, send us more!


 

veratek
Brazil
Local time: 08:21
French to English
+ ...
top pick Apr 23, 2011

I would love to put this on my CV!

Extra Circular Activities


 

Dave Bindon  Identity Verified
Greece
Local time: 14:21
Member (2010)
Greek to English
Oh dear! Apr 25, 2011

I've made one of those mistakes myself... When I worked in Market Research, I once e-mailed a client and told him that I would "cancel all shits for the rest of the week". Thankfully, he thought it was hilarious.

I also amused my Greek friends by missing the initial letter off the word for 'sun lounger' with the result that what I wrote meant "I was lying on a clothes horse".


 

Jennifer Gordon Taylor  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 12:21
Member (2008)
Czech to English
+ ...
Trying to smother my giggles Apr 26, 2011

Reminds me of a translation agency that used to offer "poof reading" on its website.

 

Viola Briatkova
Slovakia
Local time: 13:21
Slovak to English
+ ...
uuuh Jun 2, 2011

sent to some good clients - hope they will laugh too

 


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A Bit of CV Fun - Have a Laugh!

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