Off topic: Two bee or knot two bee
Thread poster: Martin Hesse

Martin Hesse  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:08
English to German
+ ...
Jul 27, 2004

THE SPELLCHECKER SONG

I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot see.

Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays comes posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're laks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does not phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too please.


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NancyLynn
Canada
Local time: 08:08
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

Moderator of this forum
LOL Jul 27, 2004

Another example of how a machine cannot replace a human

Beware: a few years ago, working as a secretary (read: typing other people's grammatical errors) I typed out a site security contract. Throughout the document, site was spelled "sight". You can imagine the howlers. I corrected that, of course, only to have my boss hand it back to me, declaring that I was in the wrong, and to please spell it "sight", as the spellchecker had accepted that - and so who was I to change it? I wonder how the security guard followed the instructions: Walk the full circumference of the sight, ensure all doors of the sight are locked, etc...:lol:

N.


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Sandra Alboum  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 08:08
Member (2003)
Spanish to English
+ ...
Ah, spelling... Jul 27, 2004

I once had the pleasure of looking over a college roommate's criminology class paper after she got it back with a bad grade. She wanted to know if it was really *that* bad.

Her first line was ... "America is being stalked by cereal killers."

I turned to her and said blankly, "Yes, it *is* that bad..."


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avsie  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:08
English to French
+ ...
LOL! Jul 27, 2004

Sandra Alboum wrote:
Her first line was ... "America is being stalked by cereal killers."


Yes, that *IS* bad...


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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 13:08
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
It's not just the spelling - what about the pronunciation? Jul 27, 2004

Hints on Pronunciation for Foreigners

By TSW

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through?
Well done! And now you wish perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird;
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead -
For goodness sake don't call it 'deed'.
Watch out for meat and great and threat.
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.

A moth is not a moth in mother,
nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose -
Just look them up - and goose and choose.

And cord and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go and thwart and cart -
Come come, I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Man alive,
I'd mastered it when I was five!


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Catherine Bolton  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:08
Member (2002)
Italian to English
+ ...
Thanks Martin!! Jul 27, 2004

I needed a laugh!
Your poem just reminded me of mondegreens, but I'll open a new forum for that one.
Thanks again. I'm still sitting here laughing. And the "cereal killers" is priceless!
Catherine


[Edited at 2004-07-27 20:31]


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Cereal killers Jul 27, 2004

Sandra Alboum wrote:

I once had the pleasure of looking over a college roommate's criminology class paper after she got it back with a bad grade. She wanted to know if it was really *that* bad.

Her first line was ... "America is being stalked by cereal killers."

I turned to her and said blankly, "Yes, it *is* that bad..."



I remember that scare, fortunatlely General Mills came to the rescue.

LInda


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Narasimhan Raghavan  Identity Verified
Local time: 18:38
English to Tamil
+ ...
And do you know how to spell fish? Jul 27, 2004

F as in tough
I as in women
Sh as in nation
So thus we have
Ghoti means fish!

Not mine of course. I just put it up in the form a funny verse.

Regards,
N.Raghavan


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Henk Peelen  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 14:08
Member (2002)
German to Dutch
+ ...
deer, deer! Jul 27, 2004

Sandra Alboum wrote:

... being stalked by cereal killers




eye think my I cease Watt its 2 b
the sea u right has 2 b an es
end one EU right has 2 b an eye

[Edited at 2004-07-30 06:13]


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xxxsarahl
Local time: 05:08
English to French
+ ...
LOL Aug 1, 2004

Another one for the book...
Last May I took a class for small business owners.
One of the instructors has a beautiful slide that said,
"All the market can bare".
She never said what niche she had in mind.


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