Off topic: Puns - to unwind
Thread poster: Paul Dixon

Paul Dixon  Identity Verified
Local time: 07:30
Portuguese to English
+ ...
Jul 9, 2015

A bit of fun, to unwind. In English, untranslatable into other languages without losing the puns.

- How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- They told me I had Type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
- When chemists die, apparently they barium.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.
- A cartoonist was found dead. Details are sketchy.
- I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.
(Source: 'Spotlight' magazine (published by the British Commonwealth Community Council, São Paulo), number 103, page 17)


Thomas T. Frost  Identity Verified
Member (2014)
Danish to English
+ ...
So I'm not the only one enjoying that :-) Jul 9, 2015

Describe an efficient shopkeeper in one word. Counterproductive.
If you found a runaway bear, what would you tell the rest of the search team? Bear with me.
If your spouse had a boat, what would you call it? Partnership.
Name another term for "forester". Branch manager.
What could you call an international policeman? A world cop.
What could you call the "best before" date on corn flakes? A cereal number.
What could you call the top management of a crockery factory? The cup board.
What could you call the top management of VISA? The card board.
What do they call the top management of Intel? The chip board.
What do they call the top management of Microsoft? The Bill board.
What could you say about a car with new tyres? It's re-tired.
What do the Czechs call their border controls? Czech points.
What do they call a switchboard operator in Poland? A telephone Pole.
What do they call Bed & Breakfast in Stratford-upon-Avon? MacBed.
What do you call an elevator in a department store? A shoplift.
What do you call railway staff under education? Trainees.
What do you call the leader of a theatre? Acting director.
What do you pay at an amusement park? Fun fare.
What would you call a friend in the Czech Republic? Czech mate.
What would you say to a judge found shoplifting? Court in the act.
What would you say to someone having found water with a divining rod? Well done.
Who's in charge of a flower shop? The plant manager.


Mikhail Kropotov  Identity Verified
Russian Federation
Local time: 13:30
Member (2005)
English to Russian
+ ...
Not all are puns or untranslatable Jul 9, 2015

For example, "I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me" can be translated word-for-word into Russian preserving the meaning and the humor. That's because it's not (really) a pun. The word dawn has precisely this meaning because of the way the sun rises and sets, and people tend to get bright ideas in the morning, after a good night's sleep.

That said, thanks for the laughs!

[Edited at 2015-07-09 14:10 GMT]


Thomas T. Frost  Identity Verified
Member (2014)
Danish to English
+ ...
"dawned on me" Jul 9, 2015

It is a pun because of the double meaning of "dawned on me".

A few puns may be translatable by chance, but as a general rule, they are not.

[Edited at 2015-07-09 14:08 GMT]


Giles Watson  Identity Verified
Local time: 12:30
Italian to English
Puns Jul 9, 2015

I agree with Thomas.

Juan Layna


Thomas Pfann  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 11:30
Member (2006)
English to German
+ ...
? Jul 9, 2015

What comes between fear and sex? Fünf.


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Puns - to unwind

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