off topic: english tough speak ;-)
Thread poster: danilingua

danilingua  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 03:04
English to German
+ ...
Mar 25, 2005

We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese.
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
When couldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot - would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular is this and plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be nicknamed kese?

Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!
So our English, I think you will all agree,
is the trickiest language you ever did see.

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, slough, and through?

Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.

And dead; it's said like bed, not bead;
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(they rhyme with suite and straight and debt).

A moth is not a moth in mother.
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there.
And dear and fear for bear and pear.

And then there's dose and rose and lose --
Just look them up -- and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword.

And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start.
A dreadful language? Why, man alive,
I'd learned to talk it when I was five.

And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned it at fifty-five!

FROHE OSTERN

Daniela


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Ralf Lemster  Identity Verified
Germany
Local time: 03:04
English to German
+ ...
Moving the thread... Mar 25, 2005

...to the Lighter side...

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Uldis Liepkalns  Identity Verified
Latvia
Local time: 04:04
Member (2003)
English to Latvian
+ ...
Some more Jul 1, 2005

Reasons Why American English Is So Hard To Learn...


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought
it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to
row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are
present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his
sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

============================================
More of American English:

- There is no egg in an eggplant nor ham in hamburger,
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
- Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat.
- And if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quick-
sand can work slowly.
- Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig.
- You park in the driveway but you drive on the parkway.
- You ship by truck and send cargo by ship.
- How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
- You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in
which an alarm goes off by going on.
- When the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
- And finally, how about when you want to turn off
your computer you click "START!!"


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off topic: english tough speak ;-)

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