Off topic: Musical terminology
Thread poster: Heinrich Pesch

Heinrich Pesch  Identity Verified
Local time: 08:19
Member (2003)
Finnish to German
+ ...
Feb 11, 2006

From another maillist:
Musical terminology, something that Mozart didn't think of:

Obbligato - being forced to practice

Con Moto - yeah baby, I have a car

Allegro - a little car

Metronome - short, city musician who can fit into a Honda Civic

Lento - the days leading up to Easto

Largo - beer brewed in Germany or the Florida Keys

Piu Animato - clean out the cat's litter box

Con Spirito - drunk again

Colla Voce - this shirt is so tight I can't sing

Improvisation - what you do when the sheet music falls down

Prelude - warm-up before the clever stuff

Flats - English apartments

Chords - things organists play with one finger

Discords - thing that organists play with two fingers

Suspended Chords - useful for lynching the vocalist

Time Signatures - things for drummers to ignore

Melody - an ancient, now almost extinct art in songwriting

Klavierstuck - A term used by German furniture movers attempting to
get a piano through a narrow doorway.

Music Stand - An intricate device used to hold music. Comes in two
sizes -=
too high or too low - always broken.

Tonic - A medicinal drink consumed in great quantity before a
performance, and in greater quantity afterwards.

Dominant - What parents must be if they expect their children to

Concert Hall - A place where large audiences gather, for the sole
purpose of removing paper wrappings from candy and gum.

Sotto Voce - singing while drunk

Agogic - playing high enough on an oboe to make the eyes bulge.

Cadenza - slapping noise on office furniture

Fandango - grabbing the pull chain on the ceiling fan

Prima Volta - jump start with a battery

Refrain - proper technique for playing bagpipes

Smorzando - with melted chocolate and marshmallow

[Edited at 2006-02-11 13:37]


Lesley Clayton
Local time: 07:19
French to English
+ ...
Wonderful Feb 11, 2006

These things usually just make me smile, but this list really made me laugh.



Zsanett Rozendaal-Pandur  Identity Verified
Local time: 07:19
Dutch to Hungarian
+ ...
Wonderful :) Feb 11, 2006

Thank you, this is really is funny! And how true!

Music Stand - An intricate device used to hold music. Comes in two
sizes - too high or too low - always broken.


Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:19
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
A few more Feb 12, 2006

More musical terms

Con brio – with French cheese

Oboe – 1. A tramp. 2. (Danny Kaye’s definition) An ill wind that nobody blows good.

Pizzicato – a pizza delivery cart

Da capo al fine – impose a financial penalty on the Mafia boss

C minor – take a look at the coal-digger

D flat – let the air out

B sharp – don’t let them put anything over on you

A major – an army officer

Aria – with longer hair

Eightsome reel – loathsome stagger

Cantata – able to say goodbye

Contrapuntal – against betting on horses

Interlude – pause between rude jokes

Polyphony – a bird disguised as a parrot

Euphonium – you play a confidence trick on them


Local time: 01:19
Member (2002)
French to English
+ ...

Moderator of this forum
Hahahahahaha Feb 12, 2006

Highly humourous!

Jack Doughty wrote:
Cantata – able to say goodbye
Contrapuntal – against betting on horses
Euphonium – you play a confidence trick on them



Local time: 15:19
Italian to English
FUNtastic Apr 22, 2007

Real cool stuff here. Thank you.


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