| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3 4] > | What's the most useless thing you've ever translated? Thread poster: Claire Titchmarsh (X)
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Stephen Rifkind 
Israel
Local time: 21:07
Member (2004)
French to English
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| Thank you to all | Nov 29, 2006 |
I am having a miserable morning translating a seemlingly random list of stage props. (part of contract, not useless). This thread cheered me up and gave me the energy to keep on working. Have a wonderful day and let me know where I can buy the bouncing bag.
Stephen Rifkind
| | | | David Earl
United States
Local time: 12:07
German to English
| Professional translation, or private, too? | Nov 29, 2006 |
The most useless things I've translated so far (professionally):
2. 1/2 page letter from the editor, thanking the readership for reading. German source from an interrim editor. Something had to fill that space.
1. Copyright notices for software documentation. If you read that after having read 300 pages of user instructions, I don't know. Yes, it was at the end of the manual.
Privately: Alice'... See more The most useless things I've translated so far (professionally):
2. 1/2 page letter from the editor, thanking the readership for reading. German source from an interrim editor. Something had to fill that space.
1. Copyright notices for software documentation. If you read that after having read 300 pages of user instructions, I don't know. Yes, it was at the end of the manual.
Privately: Alice's Restaurant
Most frustrating anyway. I was just (re-)learning German, and my girlfriend insisted that Alice's was about a picnic.... An hour and half later we had reached "the 27 8x10 color glossies with the circles & arrows, and a paragraph on the back or each one", & she said, "Ok, I believe. It's a protest song". Didn't even get to finish it, so it was really useless. ▲ Collapse
| | | | | On uselessness | Nov 29, 2006 |
MarcPrior wrote:
When I was I child, assorted adults were fond of the phrase "If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing properly".
Same here, as it happens. In the case of the corporate drivel I mentioned above, I happen not to think it's worth doing, so I don't do it.
| | | | | Prisoner Manual | Nov 29, 2006 |
I translated the "Florida Prisoner Manual" into Spanish.
I always believed that being a prisoner was easy. Well, not, you need to study the manual...
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| Financial documents for companies that no longer exist | Nov 29, 2006 |
Henry Hinds wrote:
Well, not a ton, but certainly quite a few kilos of documents for a legal case that was promptly thrown out of court for lack of merits.
It was not really so useless; I learned a ton from doing them and the revenue paid my bills for quite a while, so I can't complain.
In a similar vein, I have translated a lot of financial documents for deals that get buried - they're the most important thing on the face of the earth until then. Or, thinking back to the late 1990s, tons of documents for companies that no longer exist!
| | | | | Safety Precautions | Nov 29, 2006 |
Safety precautions for a robotic hydraulic clipping line (the best excerpt of many bizarre safety rules):
- do not place live animals into the machine
I figure that if someone is sick enough to do that, they'll just go ahead and do it anyway!
| | | | Kevin Fulton
United States
Local time: 14:07
German to English
| Defective instructions | Nov 29, 2006 |
Some years ago I translated a manual having to do with data entry. At the end of each workstep was
Press to continue
Press to cancel.
This sequence was repeated perhaps 50 times throughout the document. Totally useless instructions.
[Edited at 2006-11-29 19:36]
| | | | | Leaving the important bits in the source language | Nov 29, 2006 |
I was asked to translate a user's manual for a computer program from Spanish to English. The text was all instructions, of course, on how to achieve this result or that, and the instructions naturally referred heavily to the various icons, menus and miscellaneous responses that appear on the screen. It was also generously illustrated with pictures of sample screens. The client specifically said, however, not to translate any of the commands the user has to type in, and not to translate any of... See more I was asked to translate a user's manual for a computer program from Spanish to English. The text was all instructions, of course, on how to achieve this result or that, and the instructions naturally referred heavily to the various icons, menus and miscellaneous responses that appear on the screen. It was also generously illustrated with pictures of sample screens. The client specifically said, however, not to translate any of the commands the user has to type in, and not to translate any of the responses the machine gives in reply. So...who is the program for? Obviously somebody who...already is already capable of managing a computer program in Spanish, apparently. I understand why they didn't want the commands translated (because the program would only "speak" the source language), and why they didn't want the menus and things translated (because they are going to appear on screen in Spanish anyhow), but really, what's the point of having the manual translated in that case? They didn't even want explanations in English given in parentheses. Any non-Spanish speaker who learns to operate the program isn't going to be able to make heads or tails of the information it produces. ▲ Collapse
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Heidi C
Local time: 14:07
English to Spanish
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| Completely useless... | Nov 29, 2006 |
For a Travel Agency Webpage (when travel sites were just starting on thein the Internet) More than 15 years ago, when the internet was not really a widespread tool, not that much info, (or how to find it) I think google didn't even exist then...
It was a "bilingual" site, and they wanted to have also in Spanish a list of the names of all the airports in the world, their three letter code and the name of the city. (Like what you have in Expedia, where you pick the airport): have the ... See more For a Travel Agency Webpage (when travel sites were just starting on thein the Internet) More than 15 years ago, when the internet was not really a widespread tool, not that much info, (or how to find it) I think google didn't even exist then...
It was a "bilingual" site, and they wanted to have also in Spanish a list of the names of all the airports in the world, their three letter code and the name of the city. (Like what you have in Expedia, where you pick the airport): have the list in English AND in Spanish.
It took me about a month to find the names of the airports in their original language, as their name in the English original I had was not always where the Spanish would come from (specially for airports in Spanish speaking countries). Then, sit with 5 different Atlases in Spanish to figure out the name of the city (or town or village) in Spanish (if there was one). (of course, nowadays it would have taken me a little while, all research done on the internet).
The person who comissioned the translation is an extra meticulous perfectionist (hope he's not somewhere reading this), so I REALLY had to make sure there was not a single mistake or bad option (God forbid I translated wrong Aeropuerto Benito Juárez, DF, MEX). And I know the ONLY person who really cared or would check in Spanish the names of the airports would be HIM.
Furthermore, I think the site functioned for about three months.
Can't complain, I ended up being paid by the hour... I think I made the down payment on my car with that...
[Edited at 2006-11-29 20:54] ▲ Collapse
| | | | Clarisa Moraña
United States
Local time: 13:07
Member (2002)
English to Spanish
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| A hair dryer! | Nov 30, 2006 |
I've just been requested to translate the instruccions of a hair dryer:
XX. Never use while sleeping.
Isn't it a useless phrase?
Regards
Clarisa
| | | | David Earl
United States
Local time: 12:07
German to English
Alayna Keller wrote:
...I understand...why they didn't want the menus and things translated (because they are going to appear on screen in Spanish anyhow)...
Or, perhaps?, someone else was translating those "resources". I've had that. The customer(s) want to replace the text for the menus, etc., in the documentation themselves from the other translation. So long as the customer understands that I won't be held responsible for discrepencies between the translations, ok.
[Edited at 2006-11-30 07:54]
| | | | Harry Hermawan
Indonesia
Local time: 01:07
Member
English to Indonesian
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SITE LOCALIZER
ugh...hmm...
What happened to client-translator confidentiality?
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| I didn't actually do it... | Nov 30, 2006 |
The most useless job I was ever offered was removing the passive tense from a well written text!
I was told the text was full of errors, and asked to pay special attention to removing the passive voice.
I insisted, of course, on seeing the text before I promised anything. When it arrived, it was a well written description of a piece of machinery - and even I could imagine being able to operate it with a little concentration.
I don't remember the details, bu... See more The most useless job I was ever offered was removing the passive tense from a well written text!
I was told the text was full of errors, and asked to pay special attention to removing the passive voice.
I insisted, of course, on seeing the text before I promised anything. When it arrived, it was a well written description of a piece of machinery - and even I could imagine being able to operate it with a little concentration.
I don't remember the details, but there were sentences like: 'When the cycle is completed, the cutter is returned to the start position.'
It turned out that the client had run the text through Word's spelling and grammar checker, which does not understand the subtleties of commas or no commas after 'which' and 'that' - and seems to be allergic to the passive voice. Of course it did not recognise several of the technical terms in the text either...
Actually, the exercise was not such a waste of time after all. I made out a file with a few examples of why removing the passive voice was a bad idea or impossible in many cases, and explained that the spell-checker is a machine that asks 'are you sure?', not an infallible authority to be obeyed. I concluded that there was no reason to alter anything at all in the text.
The client called me to disagree, but in the end we had a good discussion about 'its', 'it has' and 'it's' among other things. (I bet the spelling checker is the source of more confusion than anything else!)
Boy was I glad not to do that job!
I'm sure I have done some idiotic translations, but a lot of them are in my Trados TMs (the make-up one in particular ) - so I don't notice them as much as I used to.
Boring is another matter - lists of product ingredients, for instance, but I actually read those in the shops, so they do have their uses!
Wishing everyone interesting, well-paid jobs the rest of the year!
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| | | | Manuel Rossetti (X)
Local time: 19:07
Something I never got paid for.
| | | | macky
Local time: 02:07
English
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| the novel "5th horseman" is not worth translating | Dec 3, 2006 |
I've translated an American novel "5th horseman". I found that is chaotic pieces of writting that it is practically unintelligible. It made my heart ache to see such waste of my two months.
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