Off topic: Worst Writing Contest
Thread poster: Kirill Semenov

Kirill Semenov  Identity Verified
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Jul 31, 2007

Jim Gleeson of Madison, Wis., beat out thousands of other prose manglers who entered San Jose State University's 2007 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest with this convoluted opening sentence to a nonexistent novel:

"Gerald began -- but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash -- to pee," Gleeson wrote.

(c) and full text:


Local time: 00:29
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LOL Aug 2, 2007

I check these out every year. They're so funny! There is some truly putrid prose to be read in these submissions.

Thanks for the link, Kirill.



Kirill Semenov  Identity Verified
Local time: 07:29
Member (2004)
English to Russian
+ ...
A fuller link Aug 2, 2007

Sorry, I found a fuller link today, made me stunned. Some perfectly admirable pieces of prose (I especially love the Children Literature part: Out of a hole in the ground popped a bunny rabbit which had a long thick orange carrot between its teeth and a big splotch of mud on its back that had dried into a dirt clump the size of a tumor.) But OK, you better enjoy yourselves this year:


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