Off topic: OFF: English paradoxes (was: Taking English for granted)
Thread poster: Ildiko Santana

Ildiko Santana  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 04:19
Member (2002)
English to Hungarian
+ ...

Dec 25, 2003

OK, here it is one more time, since it didn't work yesterday. It was not a link I posted but an essay. However, it was invisible. I think that might be because I included a piece of asci art..
Anyways, Merry Christmas again!

"We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that:
- quicksand can work slowly - boxing rings are square - and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing... - grocers don't groce,- and hammers don't ham?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in

English muffins were not invented in England, nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese; so, one moose, 2 ... meese?

One index, two indices?

Is cheese the plural of choose?

If it is he, his and him - Shouldn't it be she, shis and shim?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? - Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? - Have noses that run and feet that smell? - Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same... - while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down.

You fill in a form by filling it out.

An alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible ... - but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it... - but when I wind up this essay, I end it."

Direct link Reply with quote

Local time: 14:19
Russian to Spanish
+ ...
Hilarious Dec 27, 2003

Really good 'un

I was just wondering why can I pick the lock on my door, if there is no other lock to choose from.

Direct link Reply with quote

laurawheeler  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:19
English to French
+ ...
Bravo ! Dec 29, 2003

Quite a pleasure to read.

happy holidays!

Direct link Reply with quote

To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator:

You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request »

OFF: English paradoxes (was: Taking English for granted)

Advanced search

BaccS – Business Accounting Software
Modern desktop project management for freelance translators

BaccS makes it easy for translators to manage their projects, schedule tasks, create invoices, and view highly customizable reports. User-friendly, integration, community-driven development – a few reasons BaccS is trusted by translators!

More info »
Déjà Vu X3
Try it, Love it

Find out why Déjà Vu is today the most flexible, customizable and user-friendly tool on the market. See the brand new features in action: *Completely redesigned user interface *Live Preview *Inline spell checking *Inline

More info »

  • All of
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search