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Is this sentence grammatically correct?
Thread poster: jyuan_us

jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 15:33
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
+ ...
Feb 11

I came across "Fortunately for you, what the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware" from the context pasted below.

I basically got what it means but do you think the sentence is grammatically correct? If not, how would you make it better?

Context:

As business-class laptops begin to look and feel more like consumer devices, there's always one notebook within every manufacturer's portfolio that gets left behind. For Dell, the boxy, heavy and boring 2016 Latitude 7000 Series E7270 (starting at $1,079, about £755, AU$1,526) has this unfortunate distinction.

Last year's Latitude E7250 was one of the best-looking business laptops we've reviewed. This year's model features a similar design with little improvement. Unfortunately for Dell, a lot has changed in a year, and laptop design has improved so dramatically that it's difficult to give the E7270 the same appreciation we gave to last year's model.

Fortunately for you, what the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware. This laptop is designed to withstand the rigorous computing needs of mobile workers in nearly every field.

It's just too bad no one will want to be seen with it.


Source:https://www.techradar.com/reviews/pc-mac/laptops-portable-pc...



[Edited at 2019-02-11 06:50 GMT]


 

mariealpilles  Identity Verified
France
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English to French
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Is this sentence gramatically correct Feb 11

Yes, it is.

Tom in London
ATIL KAYHAN
 

Samuel Murray  Identity Verified
Netherlands
Local time: 21:33
Member (2006)
English to Afrikaans
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Clumsy but not incorrect Feb 11

jyuan_us wrote:
"Fortunately for you, what the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware."


AANNS, one can criticize the sentence for a number of things, but not grammar.


Tom in London
ATIL KAYHAN
 

jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 15:33
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
Let me put it this way Feb 11

Is "what the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware" a simple sentence or a compound sentence?

[Edited at 2019-02-11 07:15 GMT]


 

Josephine Cassar  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:33
Member (2012)
Italian to English
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Grammatically correct? Feb 11

Yes, it is but it needs a comma after 'elegance': What the 12.5" Latitude lacks in elegance, it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware. It means you wouldn't choose it for its appearance but on account of its fantastic, above-the average hardware.
Have a nice day


Kay Denney
Andy Watkinson
 

jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 15:33
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
Let's paraphrase it just a little bit Feb 11

What the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware = That which the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware.

Grammatically speaking, what is the function of "That which the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance"?

[Edited at 2019-02-11 20:04 GMT]


 

jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 15:33
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
How about this paraphrasing? Feb 11

What the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware = the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 more than makes up for what it lacks in elegance in under-the-hood hardware.

[Edited at 2019-02-11 12:33 GMT]


Kay Denney
 

Josephine Cassar  Identity Verified
Local time: 21:33
Member (2012)
Italian to English
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You didn't Feb 11

You didn't post the sentence with the words 'The thing'. See above. It's clumsier with the words 'the thing'. It's only in your latest post that the words 'The thing' appear, not in your original post.

 

jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
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English to Chinese
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What = the thing that Feb 11

This is what many grammar books say.

As I said, I was paraphrasing the sentence.

[Edited at 2019-02-11 08:04 GMT]


 

Mirko Mainardi  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 21:33
Member
English to Italian
"What" Feb 11

Although I'm not a native speaker, I think the sentence is OK.

As for the comma after "elegance" mentioned by Josephine, I don't think it's essential here, as its presence or absence doesn't change the meaning of the sentence itself, which is still perfectly readable even without it. And besides, I often notice a "paucity" of commas when reading articles or books in English, for whatever reason.

And if your main problem was with the use of "what", isn't that just part of a set phrase? "What X lacks in Y it makes up for in Z".

Check this out: https://tinyurl.com/yyzpsgw9
And also: https://tinyurl.com/yys6hwrz


MollyRose
 

Chris S  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Swedish to English
+ ...
Yes Feb 11

Yes, this is entirely normal and correct English.

I suppose the structure is odd when you think about it, but that's English for you.


ATIL KAYHAN
Josephine Cassar
 

Chris S  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Swedish to English
+ ...
Grammar Feb 11

jyuan_us wrote:
Grammatically speaking, what is the function of "[What] the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance"?


It's the object of the verb "make up for"


Axel Kirch
Thomas T. Frost
 

Axel Kirch
Local time: 04:33
Chinese to German
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Rephrased Feb 11

a) The product lacks X regarding elegance.
b) The product [more than] makes up for X relying on under-the-hood hardware.
c) Readers are suggested to consider themselves fortunate due to b)


 

Tom in London
United Kingdom
Local time: 20:33
Member (2008)
Italian to English
No! Feb 11

Josephine Cassar wrote:

Yes, it is but it needs a comma after 'elegance': What the 12.5" Latitude lacks in elegance, it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware. It means you wouldn't choose it for its appearance but on account of its fantastic, above-the average hardware.
Have a nice day


NO! There should not be a comma after 'elegance' !!! The text has to flow. This is commercial copy that someone worked hard on. You may not LIKE commercial copy but that's a whole nother thing.

[Edited at 2019-02-11 11:50 GMT]


John Fossey
David Lin
Catherine Brix
 

jyuan_us  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 15:33
Member (2005)
English to Chinese
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TOPIC STARTER
Bingo! Thanks! Feb 11

Chris S wrote:

jyuan_us wrote:
Grammatically speaking, what is the function of "[What] the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance"?


It's the object of the verb "make up for"


That's what I thought and that's why I paraphrased it this way above:

What the 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 lacks in elegance it more than makes up for in under-the-hood hardware = The 12.5-inch Latitude 7270 more than makes up for what it lacks in elegance in under-the-hood hardware.

[Edited at 2019-02-11 20:05 GMT]


 
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