Off topic: Original poetry: 'The email of the species is more deadly than the mail'
Thread poster: Jack Doughty

Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 13:12
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
Aug 24, 2003

The Perils of Email

An article in the "Sunday Telegraph" on this subject today ended with the words "We have barely begun to realise how much deadlier it is than the mail." This reminded me of a poem by Rudyard Kipling ("The Female of the Species is More Deadly Than the Male") and inspired me to write the following (with apologies to RK):


THE EMAIL OF THE SPECIES IS MORE DEADLY THAN THE MAIL

When you’re called upon to answer for alleged misdeeds in court,
You’ll find yourself discredited more quickly than you thought,
By an electronic message with an electronic trail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

You think email is just gossip and will vanish without trace,
But it leaves a record of itself all over cyberspace.
You’d do better with a message by the mail now known as “snail”,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

If you open an attachment, it could well contain a worm,
Which will mess up your computer in a way to make you squirm.
If the sender is unknown to you, delete it without fail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

If someone steals your credit card and uses it to get
Free access to a porn site somewhere on the Internet,
The police could come and raid you and you could end up in jail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

You’d better pause to think awhile before you hit the “Send”.
It will take a little longer but it’s safer in the end.
To post a written letter’s really not beyond the pale,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.


The original poem by Kipling can be found at
http://www.theotherpages.org/poems/kiplin03.html#11

[Edited at 2003-08-24 12:46]

[Edited at 2003-08-24 15:44]

[Edited at 2003-08-24 15:59]

[Edited at 2003-08-24 22:12]


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Evert DELOOF-SYS  Identity Verified
Belgium
Local time: 14:12
Member
English to Dutch
+ ...
hilarious and witty, Jack Aug 24, 2003

Jack Doughty wrote:

An article in the "Sunday Telegraph" on this subject today ended with the words "We have barely begun to realise how much deadlier it is than the mail." This reminded me of a poem by Rudyard Kipling ("The Female of the Species is More Deadly Than the Male") and inspired me to write the following (with apologies to RK):


THE EMAIL OF THE SPECIES IS MORE DEADLY THAN THE MAIL

When you’re called upon to answer for alleged misdeeds in court,
You’ll find yourself discredited more quickly than you thought,
By an electronic message with an electronic trail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

You think email is just gossip and will vanish without trace,
But it leaves a record of itself all over cyberspace.
You’d do better with a message by the mail now known as “snail”,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

If you open an attachment, it could well contain a worm,
Which will mess up your computer in a way to make you squirm.
If it comes from someone you don’t know, delete it without fail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

If someone steals your credit card and uses it to get
Free access to a porn site somewhere on the Internet,
The police could come and raid you and you could end up in jail,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.

You’d better pause to think awhile before you hit the “Send”.
It will take a little longer but it’s safer in the end.
To post a written letter’s really not beyond the pale,
For the email of the species is more deadly than the mail.




except maybe for anthrax mail and the like

Have a nice weekend.


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Alison Schwitzgebel
France
Local time: 14:12
Member (2002)
German to English
+ ...
Jack that\'s wonderful! Aug 24, 2003

I wish I had been witty enough to pen those lines!

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Catherine Bolton  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:12
Member (2002)
Italian to English
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Great! Aug 24, 2003

Ah, thank you! It's wonderful to chuckle like this on a steamy Sunday afternoon!

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Subhamay Ray  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:42
English to Bengali
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Bravo! Aug 24, 2003

That's incredible. I've loved it!

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Sheila Hardie  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 14:12
Member
Catalan to English
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Brilliant! Aug 24, 2003

Thanks, Jack:-) It's a great poem.


Sheila


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Monika Coulson  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:12
Member (2001)
English to Albanian
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Thank you Aug 24, 2003

Thank you Jack,
This is great. A very well written poem. Funny and true at the same time . Thanks again.
Monika


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Jean-Luc Dumont  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 14:12
English to French
+ ...
Stamp of excellence Aug 25, 2003

Good words like these are, of course, the most powerful cure used by mankind.

Next thing you know, we have e-mail, he-mail and she-mail and the return of the mail daemon

JL


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Katherine Zei  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 07:12
Italian to English
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Clap clap clap clap clap Aug 25, 2003

Bravo!!! Encore!! So many of Kipling's poems are suitable for updating. More! More!

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Aurora Humarán  Identity Verified
Argentina
Local time: 09:12
English to Spanish
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Great poem Aug 26, 2003

Katherine Zei wrote:
So many of Kipling's poems are suitable for updating. More! More!


and upgrading!

Bravo Jack! You did it again!

Au


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Parrot  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 14:12
Member (2002)
Spanish to English
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I loved it, Jack !!! Aug 26, 2003

We already have the Bard of Buenos Aires (guess who) as an honorary title; where do you live?



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Jack Doughty  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 13:12
Member (2000)
Russian to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
Devon Aug 26, 2003

Thanks, Parrot! (And all others).
How about the Doggerel Demon of Devon?


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Parrot  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 14:12
Member (2002)
Spanish to English
+ ...
You like alliteration, do you? Aug 27, 2003

The Bard of Devon were more flattering...

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Lorenzo Lilli  Identity Verified
Local time: 14:12
German to Italian
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kudos! Aug 28, 2003

Great poem Jack, congrats!

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Original poetry: 'The email of the species is more deadly than the mail'

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