To translate a poem, you have to lie - Pour traduire un poème, il faut mentir Thread poster: DocteurPC
| DocteurPC Canada Local time: 15:29 English to French + ...
Pour traduire un poème Pour traduire des poèmes il faut traduire le rythme et la pensée et non les mots Pour traduire des poèmes il faut traduire les saveurs et non les ingrédients en garder toute la ferveur Pour traduire des poèmes il faut penser comme un poète laisser son coeur parler suivre la mélodie du flot et des idées Pour traduire des poèmes ... See more Pour traduire un poème Pour traduire des poèmes il faut traduire le rythme et la pensée et non les mots Pour traduire des poèmes il faut traduire les saveurs et non les ingrédients en garder toute la ferveur Pour traduire des poèmes il faut penser comme un poète laisser son coeur parler suivre la mélodie du flot et des idées Pour traduire des poèmes il faut faire mentir les mots et non le poète respecter son poème et non ses mots © Georgette Blanchard 2001, alias Docteur PC ---------------- and my 2004 translation: To translate a poem you have to lie To translate a poem you have to translate the rythm and the thoughts but not the words To translate a poem you have to translate the flavors and not the ingredients and keep the fervor To translate a poem you must think like a poet let your heart talk and follow the melody and the flow of the ideas To translate a poem you have to lie with the words but not cheat the poet, respect her work and not her words © Georgette Blanchard 2004, alias Docteur PC 514-487-3062 [email protected] ▲ Collapse | | | A wonderfully wise poem! | Jan 25, 2005 |
My only suggestion to the translator (but I am not a natvie speaker of English, so maybe my suggestion is off the mark!) would be: "must" which stands out as neatly as "il faut" in the original, whereas "you have" is isolated from its semantic 'tail'("it". The the reader, therefore, does not know how to interpret it before proceedign to the next line. This suspension of comprhension (or, worse, wrong anticipation) conspires against the effect of the English poem, I think. ... See more My only suggestion to the translator (but I am not a natvie speaker of English, so maybe my suggestion is off the mark!) would be: "must" which stands out as neatly as "il faut" in the original, whereas "you have" is isolated from its semantic 'tail'("it". The the reader, therefore, does not know how to interpret it before proceedign to the next line. This suspension of comprhension (or, worse, wrong anticipation) conspires against the effect of the English poem, I think. sergio ▲ Collapse | | | On second thought | Jan 25, 2005 |
I think that the original means to admonish to have the words lie, but not the poet (in other words, the translator must lie with his words in order to let the poet tell his truth). The translation speaks of “cheating the poet”, which, to my mind, is not what the original poet/translator meant. If, as it seems, both the French and the English versions are by the same poet, in this particular respect, she has written to different poems, in that she has the French poet say one thing and the En... See more I think that the original means to admonish to have the words lie, but not the poet (in other words, the translator must lie with his words in order to let the poet tell his truth). The translation speaks of “cheating the poet”, which, to my mind, is not what the original poet/translator meant. If, as it seems, both the French and the English versions are by the same poet, in this particular respect, she has written to different poems, in that she has the French poet say one thing and the English quite another one. Since this is no explained by the structural differences between these languages, I suppose that by the time she went about re-writing her poem in English, the translator had changed her mind – which happens quite often when authors self-translate: they do not need to remain faithful to their former selves, but to themselves. Period. My Spanish translation (written as the fingers tap) would be: Para traducir poesía, hay que mentir Para traducir poesía Es preciso Traducir el ritmo Y las ideas No las palabras. Para traducir poesía Es preciso Traducir los sabores Y no los ingredientes Conservando íntegro el fervor. Para traducir poesía Es preciso Pensar como poeta Dejar que hable al corazón Seguir la melodía Y el fluir Del pensamiento Para traducir poesía Es preciso Hacer mentir a las palabras Y no al poeta Observations: I think that writing "hay que" in the title and "es preciso" in the poem itself does not do violence to its internal coherence. Rather, it strenghens it. "Es preciso" did not sound right in the title, whilst "hay que" didn't quite fit in the poem/ The title is therefore more colloquial, which, I submit, gives "es preciso" a greater effect. I think it is better to say "y las ideas" (as terse as the original) rather than "el pensamiento" (which will force me to change "idées" when it comes later on in the French. I also think it is more effective to say "poesía" (in the singular) and reserve "poema" for the last strophe, where it really fits. I also liked better "íntegro" than "todo". All these changes are due to the differnces between French and Spanish. But the following might also improve the original: I have tried to have one copulative per strophe (and used to different ones when forced to in the last one). sergio ▲ Collapse | | | bozhana Canada Local time: 15:29 English to Bulgarian + ... A beutiful poem! | Jan 26, 2005 |
[quote]sviaggio wrote: I think that the original means to admonish to have the words lie, but not the poet (in other words, the translator must lie with his words in order to let the poet tell his truth). The translation speaks of “cheating the poet”, which, to my mind, is not what the original poet/translator meant. | |
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bozhana Canada Local time: 15:29 English to Bulgarian + ... A beautiful poem! | Jan 26, 2005 |
I don't quite agree with Sergio that the message is not the same. May be "lie to the words but not cheat the poet or not to the poet" would be better.As far as I get it you can change the words and but not the message, the feeling and so on. That's why translating poetry is extremely difficult. I think that there is something wrong with the rythme of the part with the "flavors". Anyway, I love it! Bozhana | | | To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator: You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request » To translate a poem, you have to lie - Pour traduire un poème, il faut mentir Wordfast Pro | Translation Memory Software for Any Platform
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