Off topic: Indian Etiquette - a dilemma
Thread poster: alz

alz  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:21
English to Croatian
+ ...
Jul 17, 2008


One of my client invitetd me to the wedding of his son in New Dalhi by written invitation.

Few days ago talking to my secretary on the phone he passed the horn to his wife who told my secretary about the wedding of her son and invited her to come, but no written invitation followed.

Our dilemma is: Should my secretarry consider to be invited even if no written invitation folowed like in my case?

My secretary and I have strictly professional relation, thus we are not a couple.

Any comment or oppinion is welcome.


Henry Hinds  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 05:21
English to Spanish
+ ...
More important Jul 17, 2008

Did they include plane tickets for your trip to New Delhi?


wonita (X)
Local time: 09:21
Speaking of China... Jul 17, 2008

You are invited, if the mother-in-law of the brother of the bridegroom leaves a message that you should come...:-)

Much luck!


alz  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:21
English to Croatian
+ ...
I forgot to say ... Jul 17, 2008

...they are Indians, Brahmans

No, no fly tickets included. But I was invited twice, by phone and by written invitation, by the father of the bridegroom. The ceremony should take place in New Delhi and last for 3 days. I will probably go.

My secretary only by phone, by the mother of the bridegroom. Should she go, or this is just a formal politeness????


Kajal Somaiya  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:51
French to English
+ ...
Hope this helps... Jul 17, 2008


I guess the mother of the bridegroom invited your secretary thinking that she is your wife or partner...

However, it is not very uncommon for Indians to invite people over the she can go along with you if she is comfortable.

I'm sure u'll enjoy the prepared for lots of good food, sweets and yes...noiseicon_smile.gif)

Hope my reply has helped you.


Highest Quality
Local time: 13:21
German to English
Your concerns are justified Jul 17, 2008

My experience after several trips to India is that people there are often very free with invitations, to visit, to dinner etc., but they don't always mean them!!! It's just a way of being friendly and polite. A written invitation is without question, but one over the phone may have just been a shallow formality.

The problem is, if you call and ask if the invitation of your secretary was for real, they will have no choice but to answer yes. Will she then be welcome? Possibly not.

I would simply make a judgment call here: Does your secretary want to go? If so, then she should accept the invitation in some formal way, so that they know she is coming. And then she should simply enjoy herself.


alz  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:21
English to Croatian
+ ...
thanx Jul 31, 2008

thank you very much
to all of you


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