Off topic: New element identified
Thread poster: Jenny Forbes
| | Jenny Forbes
Local time: 02:36
French to English
For those of you interested in science, I recently received this report:
NEW ELEMENT IDENTIFIED
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has 1 neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons which are surrounded by quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.
A minute quantity of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years.
Government has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 yeas. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a proportion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons changes places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since every reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion and isodope formation has led some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration, a hypothetical quantity referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates the same amount of energy as Governmentium because it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Please forward this to your MP, Congressman or Senator.
[Subject edited by staff or moderator 2008-08-05 17:02]
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It explains so much with a rational scientific explanation. Thank you for the laugh.
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