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Off topic: The right recipe for cooking up Heaven
Thread poster: N.M. Eklund

N.M. Eklund  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 01:56
Member (2005)
French to English
+ ...
Sep 26, 2008

Warning: Joke involving national sterotypes below. A sense of humor required! If you have an abhorrence of stereotype style jokes, don't read any further.
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(Got this from a fellow translator)

HEAVEN is where:
- the police are English
- the cooks are French
- the mechanics are German
- the lovers are Italian
And everything is organized by the Swiss.


HELL is where:
- the police are German
- the cooks are English
- the mechanics are French
- the lovers are Swiss
And everything is organised by the Italians.



[Don't get riled up, we know stereotypes are not reality! I even like some English food ]
Anyway, I hope it got a good laugh, have a good weekend.


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patyjs  Identity Verified
Mexico
Local time: 18:56
Spanish to English
+ ...
Spot on! Sep 26, 2008

I, in fact, do fit the stereotype, being English and culinary challenged! I'm married to a Mexican....now, I wonder where they fit in?

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RichardDeegan
Local time: 19:56
Spanish to English
Nice Sep 26, 2008

Spent a few weeks in Jolly Old (mostly London) in the 80s. Almost starved to death until I found out where the Chinese and Indian restaurants were.

[Edited at 2008-09-26 15:12]


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N.M. Eklund  Identity Verified
France
Local time: 01:56
Member (2005)
French to English
+ ...
TOPIC STARTER
interesting idea for a variation Sep 26, 2008

Hi patyjs,
You're right, we should find a variation including others (but only for the Heaven part!)


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Therrien  Identity Verified
Canada
Local time: 17:56
English to French
+ ...
ouat? Sep 26, 2008

Ouat do you mean ze mécaniques are French?

Juste follow ze golden rule.

Ouen in doubt, duct tape it.


[Edited at 2008-09-26 16:10]


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Giles Watson  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 01:56
Italian to English
Mexicans? Sep 26, 2008

patyjs wrote:

I, in fact, do fit the stereotype, being English and culinary challenged! I'm married to a Mexican....now, I wonder where they fit in?



Perhaps it was a Mexican who saved the day by slipping some chilli into the mince the English cook was boiling to death


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Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 01:56
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
How about Spanish people? Sep 26, 2008

Aren't we bad enough for a joke like this?

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Romina Fanzini  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 01:56
English to Italian
+ ...
Funny!!! Sep 26, 2008

rofl

This is absolutely brilliant!!!


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xxxJPW  Identity Verified
Local time: 00:56
Spanish to English
+ ...
Just for you, Tomás... Sep 26, 2008

A prize was to be awarded for the first person to discover a horse with black and white stripes - like a zebra.

A German, A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Spaniard participated hoping to win the prize of 1,000,000 euros.

The German decided to spend weeks in the National library researching into horses with black and white stripes.

The Englishman went straight to a shop in Piccadilly which specialises in hunting gear, bought all the equipment necessary and set off for Africa in his quest for this strange creature.

The Frenchman bought himself a horse and painted it black and white.

The Spaniard went to the best restaurant he knew in Madrid, ordered an expensive meal for himself with a fine bottle of wine; after the meal he ordered an expensive Havana cigar and a Napoleon brandy, sat in a luxurious arm-chair in the hotel and began to consider what he would do with the 1,000,000 euros once he had found this remarkable horse with black and whte stripes.

Boom! Boom!


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Tomás Cano Binder, BA, CT  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 01:56
Member (2005)
English to Spanish
+ ...
They found me!! Sep 26, 2008

John Paul Weir wrote:
The Spaniard went to the best restaurant he knew in Madrid, ordered an expensive meal for himself with a fine bottle of wine; after the meal he ordered an expensive Havana cigar and a Napoleon brandy, sat in a luxurious arm-chair in the hotel and began to consider what he would do with the 1,000,000 euros once he had found this remarkable horse with black and whte stripes.


Oh my goodness! They finally found me!!!

BTW: The cigar was a bit dry. But I can't complain about the restaurant: the window of the restroom was big enough!


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Agnieszka Hayward
Poland
Local time: 01:56
German to Polish
+ ...
Näh..... you got it all wrong, N.M., dear ;-) Sep 26, 2008

To me...:

HEAVEN is where:
- the police are Cuban (provided you are a tourist in Cuba)
- the cooks are me!!! (OK, or my mum) Note both of us are Polish
- the mechanics are... this nice bloke round the corner from where I live (Polish still)
- the lovers are... our husbands now! Yessss (English... yes!)
And everything is organized by Ela* (Polish again!).

*She's a genius. And, no, I won't give you her number ;-P


HELL is where:
- the police are there (if not Cuban, that is)
- the cooks are French, I'm afraid............
- the mechanics are working for a huge corporation
- the lovers are not skilled/ sensitive enough
And everything is organised by a very special PM working for one of my clients (...Polish...)


So, more or less, the bottom line is... Poland is heaven..... (even though I married a heaven from elsewhere)....apart from one PM.
Hell is somewhere else!
Don't I just love the stereotypes.... :*

Have a nice weekend, everyone!
Agnieszka


edit: Cornish pasty, anyone?

[Edited at 2008-09-26 21:50]


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Allesklar  Identity Verified
Australia
Local time: 11:26
English to German
+ ...
French mechanics Sep 26, 2008

Therrien wrote:

Ouat do you mean ze mécaniques are French?

Juste follow ze golden rule.

Ouen in doubt, duct tape it.



A mechanically inclined friend once told me that understanding French cars wasn't that hard - you just have to think about sex all the time while you are working on them


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Francesca Battaglia
Italy
Local time: 01:56
Member (2007)
English to Italian
+ ...
I knew it Sep 27, 2008

N.M. Eklund wrote:


And everything is organised by the Italians.







AH! I knew itttt! I knew I was living in Hell! --not so much of a stereotype

I suppose all other countries are just in the Purgatory aisle

and for those who may not know this..:

http://www.infonegocio.com/xeron/bruno/italy.html

[Edited at 2008-09-27 12:56]


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Annamaria Arlotta  Identity Verified
Local time: 01:56
English to Italian
Italian hell Sep 27, 2008

We have a joke: a sinner goes to hell and Lucifer gives him the choice between the German and the Italian section of hell. First he shows the man the German hell: people are crucified among screams and blood. Then he shows him the Italian hell: there, too, people have been crucified. "That is not a real choice, then" tha man mutters. "Oh yes. if I were you, I would choose the Italian section. One day the nails are gone missing, the next day nobody can find the hammer..."

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Danae Ferri  Identity Verified
Norway
Local time: 01:56
Norwegian to Greek
+ ...
Same joke Sep 27, 2008

unadiluna wrote:

We have a joke: a sinner goes to hell and Lucifer gives him the choice between the German and the Italian section of hell. First he shows the man the German hell: people are crucified among screams and blood. Then he shows him the Italian hell: there, too, people have been crucified. "That is not a real choice, then" tha man mutters. "Oh yes. if I were you, I would choose the Italian section. One day the nails are gone missing, the next day nobody can find the hammer..."


Here in Greece we have the same joke, but instead of the Italian there is the Greek section. And it is soooo true!


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